HaniOni
by Hayden Kirkland
Summary: HaniOni: what happens when five idiotic teenage girls enter the HetaOni mansion and befriend the Hetalia characters? Hell freezes over! No really. Well! They get hurt a lot and stuff... I suppose you should read and see, right? (BTW: if you want to see the real HaniOni characters and their stupid "adventures", check out their utube channel: Kalajapasa) (don't ask)
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

These pages will explain the basic history of Hollyn Okumura and her closest friends so you, the reader, will not be overly confused throughout this story. If I were you, and luckily, I am not; I'd read, highlight, takes notes on etc. this page. You will probably need to go back to this page a few times, but you'll get the hang of it. Or not… if you're stupid like that. Don't worry… Hollyn and her friends are all stupid too.

Hollyn Okumura was the cause of this story. All the shit that happens—blame Hollyn. She didn't mean for it to happen, of course… but, I'm not about to explain anything in the story because I took so much time writing that last paragraph. This is supposed to be about the characters.

She was the one who liked the ghost stories and horror movies. But, no, Hollyn wasn't one of those freak-shows you see at the mall- wearing black clothes, red contacts, and no pants. She was innocent, sweet, and loveable. Thinking up ways to let the world come together as one in unity and peace and love and all that hippie crap. Befriending small animals. Reading to the blind. Crying over road kill. Running into walls. Also, Hollyn was overly optimistic and happy, which annoyed a few of her peers. She giggled and squealed often, which confused a lot of her peers.

Her looks were generic. Long, straight brown hair and a face. White skin, freckles. Not too short. Not too tall. Rather boring, actually. She also wore generic clothing. Jeans. Khaki. Solid color shirts and sweaters.

Now Hayden Kirkland was one of Hollyn's closest friends. Despite, their names being similar, they were almost polar opposites. While Hollyn ran around saving whales and giggling, Hayden planned domination or played destruction upon her accursed piano of doom. Fauré's _Requiem. _That's some evil stuff.

Hayden was overly practical and compulsive—far past the point of obsession. She was very intelligent, that could not be denied, but, her terrific grade point average is usually overlooked when she's standing in your closet with a butcher knife.

In her normal school-life, Hayden was pessimistic, cynical, and an extreme Anglophile. She constantly criticized everything about her peers—their actions, their grammar, their clothes, their diet. Nobody really liked her, but everyone kept her around for her answers with the math homework. But, once you get to know her, you see that inside of her is a self-aware, frightened child. Along with the usual classical music and mathematics, Hayden had strong obsessions over people with accents, boy's hair, and Night (whom you will learn about later).

Hayden's appearances were slightly less generic than Hollyn's. She had curly dark hair and tan skin; she was also tall—the tallest of her friends. The clothes were all dark, and she tried to live up to British stereotypes by wearing plaid skirts and combat boots. She looked mostly pathetic. She also always wore a black flower hair clip. Because when she first wore it to school, a boy commented on how it looked pretty. But after ten months of continuous wear, she beat the beauty out of it. Also, Hayden also always wore a dark gray pea coat whenever the weather allowed. Hollyn called it her "detective's jacket". Glad we have a name for it.

Night Moon was surely the most popular of Hollyn's group of friends. She was blasé and athletic… indifferent. Her hobbies included running, reading manga, and escaping from Hayden. She knew she was badass and showed it off—starting conversations with total strangers, sleeping in class, driving past the speed limit. Very badass.

She also played sports, namely soccer, which isn't much of a sport in America if you think about it. Anyway, she was part of the varsity team and went to practice almost every day. She hung out with boys and other jocks as much as possible without making her friends cry. Constantly reminded Hollyn 'n' Hayden 'n' Friends that she could abandon them any time and diffuse into a new group of friends. Because everyone loved her.

Especially Hayden. Now the reason behind Hayden's obsession over Night cannot be explained. At least not to you, stupid reader. Let's just say the obsession very much existed and freaked Night out.

Night was almost as tall as Hayden was and had choppy short brown hair. She wore whatever jocks wear and did whatever jocks (I typed in 'cocks' the first time…) do.

Nevelyn Dawne was also popular. But she befriended the upperclassmen, not necessarily the jocks. She was prissy and sophisticated. Her looks meant a lot to her, more than any of her other ugly friends. On her person she always has nail polish, nail polish remover, foundation, powder, mascara, lip gloss, lip stick, eyeliner, shadow, blusher, make up remover, hand lotion, a hairbrush, hair gels, hairspray, hair elastics, hair clips, hair dye, perfume, body wash, shampoo, a running shower, and pepper spray. She had her own personal drugstore in her oversized purse. Despite this, she was not some dumb blonde or anything. She was aggressive and bit when provoked.

She also had many boyfriends and is currently hitting on YOURS! You should go and check on him. I'm not joking around with you; step away from the computer and check on him right now. Nevelyn duped all these poor dudes, but it was worth it. Said Nevelyn.

Because of her strong interests in herself *cough* …I mean… her appearance, Nevelyn was absolutely beautiful. Short black-brown hair cut in a bob. Wide dark eyes. Dark, perfect skin. A guy would be gay not to have loved her.

Stevie Elevens. Um… how do I say this nicely? She was fun. And sweet. The greatest friend you could imagine. But… she was a tad absent minded. Tad? Who am I kidding? She was very absent minded. But we love her, and she was fun… and, now I feel guilty… Her appearance! She was skinny with long blond hair and huge, round eyes. Pretty? Okay. Sure. She was pretty. Now I'm guilty. You know what… forget what I said. Stevie was amazing.

In this story, I will refer to the "monster" in HetaOni as Steve. Please bear with me—the whole Stevie/Steve deal.

I hope you read well and will KEEP reading this. If you couldn't already tell, I often write stories from a more sarcastic point of view… so this won't be that scary. I should warn you: I will probably have some awkward "love" scenes in this story. And not between Hollyn 'n' Friends, you sick freak. You'll just have to read more to find out. Alright? Cool.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1- Steve Shops At Costco

"I told you we'd find it! Ha! I was right, and you were wrong, Hayden! Ha! Hayden's wrong!"

"Shut up, Hollyn. I never said you were wrong anyway."

"OMG, Hayden! You made me smudge my lip gloss!"

"Y'all are really stupid."

"Oh! That shadow is pretty."

"Stevie! Come back over here!"

Hollyn, Hayden, Nevelyn, Night, and Stevie were all standing awkwardly in front of the mansion. Each held different opinions about being there. Hollyn, Nevelyn, and Stevie were excited. Hayden and Night were suspicious and wanted to leave.

The day before, Hollyn heard over the Internet about this abandoned mansion that was "haunted" and conveniently three hours away from their high school. Those crazy chemicals in Hollyn's shriveled brain began churning: "We should film a horror movie in this mansion!" she exclaimed over lunch.

All her friends stared.

"This sounds stupid. Why the hell would we do that?" Night angrily questioned, drinking a protein shake.

"Cuz it'd be funny, silly!" Hollyn squealed and clapped her hands. "I've already written a script. Hayden will operate the camera…"

"Why would I do that? I don't want any part in this!"

"… Night will direct…"

"This suddenly doesn't sound so stupid anymore. I'll bring my sword. You know the one I bought at the anime convention? That could be a cool prop, right?"

"… Stevie will do the lighting…"

"I like light bulbs."

"Thanks for answering my question," Night said rolling her eyes. Everyone ignored her.

"… and Nevelyn and I will act." Nevelyn beamed.

"W-what?" Hayden sputtered, "You two will act? I'm a much better actor than both of you. You guys are all stupid. I'm not doing this."

"Wiiiiy not?" Hollyn whined clinging to Hayden's arm. "If you don't come, who will operate the camera?"

"Get your sister to do it."

"But my sister will ruin everything. You're smart, Hayden. If you don't come, who can lend us intelligent criticism?"

"What the-? No! I'll be busy and…"

"Night's coming. Aren't you, Night?"

"Sure. Whatever."

Hayden eyes widened and her mind did this magic that it usually only did in class. It calculated. Numbers, images, words. All morphed together. Constructed models, composed geometric proofs, solved long division. Kirkland's Theory: Hayden-(Night + Other Friends) = Hayden all alone. Or in her head… _h-(n+o)= h and only h. _Conclusion…

"I'm coming too!" squealed Hayden. She clapped repeatedly. "Let's make a movie!"

And… that is how they ended up before that stupid mansion. Hollyn was holding onto the script with her eyes peeking around the bars in the window, hoping to see a ghost or monster. Ironic. Hayden was leaning against the house, studying the camera, wondering if Hollyn would get mad if she took it apart. Nevelyn was applying makeup with Stevie holding her mirror for her. And Night was standing there, wondering why they weren't just entering that damn house.

"Why don't we just enter this damn house?" Night asked, flipping her bangs out of her eyes.

"That's a great idea!" Hollyn cried, clapping again. She jumped up and down, then tripped and fell on her face.

"I'm full of great ideas," Night replied sarcastically, rubbing her knuckles against her shirt like some pathetic cliché a pathetic writer decided to use.

Hollyn opened the front door easily and held it open for her friends. "I'm nice," she declared, grinning. Night punched her in the stomach.

Hollyn closed the door. Once again proving that IT WAS ALL HER FAULT! Anyway, Hayden quickly scanned the hallway over with her eyes. "It doesn't seem too unclean."

"It's a bit _too _clean," Hollyn hissed mysteriously.

"I wonder what's upstairs!" Stevie said heading up the stairs.

"Stevie!" Hollyn whined, "You can't go upstairs... or… or…"

"You'll die," Hayden ended, rolling her eyes.

Stevie returned glumly. "Promise we can go upstairs eventually."

"I promise," Hollyn said sympathetically, crossing her heart. Another stupid cliché.

"Let's do this stupid movie and leave," Night mumbled, "I'm hungry."

"How about this?" Hollyn cheered, "We leave our stuff here and investigate the first floor together before we start. Then, we can plot out a few more things. Everyone who agrees, say 'aye!'"

"Aye!" Stevie shouted.

"Shut up, _baka_!" Hayden cried, "I don't want to get into trouble."

"How can we get into trouble, Hayden?" Nevelyn questioned, "There's no-one here."

"This is stupid," Night muttered, "I'm checking this room over here." She sauntered towards a door.

"I'll come with you!" Hayden squealed, glomping Night.

"Whatever."

Night led the whole group to the door and tried to open it. "Fuck! It's locked."

"What if all the doors are locked?" Hollyn asked worriedly, "How would we be able to film the…"

"What about this room?" Nevelyn cried, gesturing towards an open doorway. She skipped inside, singing a Spears song under her breath. The others ran after her, begging her to shut up for once.

This room was large with shelves stocked with bulk-sized food. Bags of Costco brand cereal. Costco brand whole wheat bread. Costco brand jars of artichoke hearts in palm oil. Someone had a membership to Costco, obviously. This made Hayden suspicious. She stroked her chin mysteriously. Cliché.

"Food!" Night exclaimed diving towards the food.

"Idiot!" Hayden yelled after her. "Imagine how long it's been there! Plus, it's _obviously _not organic. Otherwise, it would have been moldier. Furthermore, it looks like this food is too unhealthy. It will give you fast-burning energy, not long-lasting energy. In addition…"

"Screw that! I'm starved!" Night greedily gnawed away at the food, eating around the moldy parts. Her eyes were tearing with joy. She hadn't eaten in three hours. This meant everything to her.

"Let's go," Hollyn said, leaving, "I wanna make my movie."

Everyone followed her out except Night, who was trying to sneak slices of bread and artichoke hearts into her pockets. Suddenly, she heard Nevelyn scream.

She looked up between her bangs. Stupid friends trying to pull a prank. "Y'all think I'm an idiot?" she snapped walking out of the room, "What are you trying to-?" She was cut short.

Before her was a monster, gray and towering above her. He had an extraterrestrial face and huge dark eyes like Nevelyn's. "What's this?" The monster extended his arm towards Night's friends.

Her friends scattered, screaming in terror. Such dweebs, right? But Night was immobile. From bravery and excitement to defeat a real enemy? Nah. From twisted fear hidden behind her trying to be a badass? Probably.

The monster reached forward and pushed Night against a wall. His hand alone was about the size of her head. She crumbled to the ground. A throbbing pain started in the back of her head.

"Asshole!" Night cried in reply. Instinctively, she reached behind her and unsheathed her sword she conveniently had with her at this time. The blade flashed in the unflattering light. The monster recoiled, silent.

She swiped at the monster's head, but he easily dodged the attack and slashed his nails at Night's face. She tasted blood. "Damn it," she muttered.

He slashed again, and Night sent her sword's point into his chest. But it bounced off, leaving only a small bloody wound.

Night repeated the action but at his stomach. This time, it pushed through his skin and left a deep hole. The monster must have felt it. He grew angry.

His huge hand wrapped around Night's small neck and held her above the ground. Night's sword crashed to the ground. "Shit," she managed to gasp. Her own fingers tried to rip the monster's hands off. She couldn't breathe. Blackness speckled her vision. Blood pooled at her lips, making her want to vomit. Finally, the monster held her over his head. A distorted grin appeared on his smooth face. Night began to wonder what moisturizer he was using. I mean, look at his face. He must be ancient but not one blemish or wrinkle. Then, she remembered he probably wouldn't tell her. Jerk.

She kicked at his face. Lucky she was conveniently wearing soccer cleats.

The monster dropped her, and she landed on her knees. They began to bleed. Quickly, she grabbed at the sword laying abandoned on the ground and swiped at his feet. She hit him hard on the ankles making him stagger.

She fumbled onto her feet. Her mind began to wander. Where were her friends? What the hell was this stupid monster? Why did she come here anyway? She wiped her face with the back of her arm and glanced at the blood streak on her sleeve. Suddenly she realized she didn't know her blood type. She pondered upon that until the monster picked her up again.

His arm was less steady. He was weaker.

Fortunately, this time, Night's sword was still in her hands. Stab at his neck. Nothing. Stab at his temples. Nothing. Stab at his forehead. Whoa. That actually did something?

The monster dropped Night again. She hit her head on the way down, knocking her out. And the monster disappeared. What a stupid time to retreat, right? The enemy just passed out… perfect time to kill her. But monsters don't think that way, do they?

Night awakened in a blur. Her mind was still somewhere in Dreamville as her feet raced around. Body took her to the front door. Try to open. Damn thing was locked shut.

Her mind reunited with her body while she was running into the door repeatedly, trying to knock it down. Her swollen eyes met the film equipment resting in a niche in the wall. "Oh, yeah. I have friends."

Pain registered. She began to cry.

But, despite being attacked by a monster and knocked out, she was still a teenage girl. Felt self-conscious about crying in public. Wiped her face again. And sniffed. Sniffed. She was too good for that.

She tried to step forward but tripped over her own feet and hit her head on the wooden floor. Knocked herself out. Again.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2- How Night's Mother Ruptured Her Spine

Night woke up lying on her back. Her face felt swollen and her whole body ached. The back of her head throbbed.

Perhaps it was her imagination… or, more likely, a series of major concussions, but Night could barely see lettering floating above her head. White lettering. She squinted and read: _Night's Party Was Victorious. 50 EXP. 100 HETA. _Then the letters collapsed into a shower of silver coins that rained on her face.

"This sucks," she groaned as she lifted herself up onto her feet. She picked up one of the coins and observed it. It was completely smooth with the word _20 HETA _engraved on one side. "Huh." She filled her pockets with coins. In case she may need them to… well, never mind.

Blink. Night stumbled around like an obese drunkard. For a moment, she forgot where she was and why on Earth she was bleeding to death. But, she saw the movie equipment again.

"Stupid friends!" she exclaimed, "We need to go home." Her hands wrapped around the front doorknob. Pull. Nada.

"Stupid house!" She kicked the door. Bad idea, Night. Pain shot through her foot and up her body.

"Stupid door!"

She limped down the hall, calling, "Hollyn? Nevelyn? Stevie? Er… well, I don't really care about Hayden anyway, do I?"

Now I could make that they all arise from their hidey-holes, smiling and greeting Night with hands full of bandages and morphine for her wounds. (Except Hayden, who was killed brutally and painfully by that monster.) Then, they could find the key under a potted plant and leave the house forever. Dancing into the sunset. Forgetting their encounter with death. Living life happily.

But that wouldn't be a good story, would it? So, naturally, nobody arose from their hiding places when Night called, and she was forced to flop around the house looking for them. By the way, this mansion is four stories tall.

When the monster appeared for the first time, all of Night's friends scattered and hid in various parts of the house. For example, Hayden was hidden in the third floor's library. Something called her there. A supernatural power. Books were calling.

She laid in the fetal position in the corner of the library. Her head was tucked under her hands. Eyelids squeezed tightly together. Tear-glossed lips mouthing the alphabet.

Now, dear reader, you may think this is weird, but for Hayden, this was just like every Friday night. Crying with her head between her hands in her bedroom closet. Acknowledging her pity existence. How she will never be anything more than a neurotic obsessive.

Then, after a few hours of this outburst in the mansion's library, she straightened up, picked up a book, and began to skim it. She wandered through the aisles of bookcases and read the titles of the spines. Her favorite classics. Books she had planned to read. Suddenly, she felt a strong desire to steal all these beautiful pieces of literature.

She was hoarding all these books in her coat pockets when Night found her.

"Hayden, what are you doing?"

Hayden looked up with eyes swollen from reading so much. Everything looked blurry. "Night? Am I imagining you?"

This union with reality made Night grin. She flipped her bangs. "No, I'm pretty real. What are you even doing?"

Hayden gazed upon the bookcases. "I'm stealing all these beautiful pieces of—" Hayden looked up at Night. There were bloody slashes that scaled her whole face. Her knees were bruised and sent blood streaming down her shins. Also, though didn't know it at the time, Night burst a blood vessel in her right eye during the fight, redness diffused through the whites of her eye. Though, surprisingly, everything else with her was perfectly fine.

"Night!" Hayden cried, "What the hell happened to you? Did you try to…?" Her mind rewound. Remembered the monster. "Oh God, Night! You didn't!"

"Didn't what?" Night said smugly, "I kicked that loser's ass." Sure you did, Night, if kicking his ass included being choked, banged around, and knocked out a few times.

"How can you? What?"

Night was touched by Hayden's concern. This sudden dose of reality made her feel all warm and fuzzy. (Cliché!) She reached forward and hugged Hayden. "It'll be alright, Denny."

Hayden started to cry again. She was overcome with emotion and delight. Night was hugging her. Night was hugging her. Night was hugging her. Then, Night said…

"Wait…" Hayden began, "Who calls me Denny?"

Honestly, nobody did. Night just felt like giving her an impromptu nickname. Hay? Stupid. Hay-Hay? Stupid. Den? Stupid. Denny? Less Stupid. Why not?

But Night didn't know what to say, she continued to hug her. "Everyone calls you Denny," she lied into Hayden's shoulder.

"No-one has ever…"

Night stepped away and gave Hayden a big smile. "Don't be stupid, Denny. Everyone has always called you that, _baka_."

"Oh." Hayden wiped her face with her coat sleeve. "So… where are the others?"

"I dunno. They ran away like you did. Have you seen them at all?"

Hayden shook her head. A lock of her curly hair fell before her face, and she began to swat at it, making her look retarded.

Night rolled her eyes. "We should go look for them."

Hayden stopped swatting. She looked up with wide, wounded eyes. "Why? We could just live here… forever. We have everything we could ever need. Food and water from that kitchen. Books from this library." She grabbed Night's arm and smiled possessively. "Each other."

"Interesting proposal," Night said, jaw clenched, heart pounding in terror, "Please consider my counteroffer." She peeled Hayden off her arm and dashed out of the room screaming.

Hayden sprinted after her, despite her being weighed down by several volumes of literature. "We don't need them, Night!" she cried. Then, she tripped and landed on her stomach. On the way down, she bumped her chin on the floor. It didn't bleed, but it hurt. Hayden curled up and started to cry. Again.

Now Hayden isn't usually an emotional person in public. She felt nothing when she killed orphans or tripped the elderly, making them fall. But, she was feeling so much… it overwhelmed her.

Sympathetically, Night returned to her and kneeled down. "What's wrong with you now?" she asked helping her up.

"I… urd… I… kin."

"Shut up, stupid. We have to find the others." And she dashed up the stairs to the fourth floor with Hayden limping behind her.

They approached a door on this floor.

"It probably won't open," Night said angrily, "A lot of these damn doors don't fucking…"

Naturally it opened.

"Haha, Night! It opened!"

Night punched Hayden in the stomach. Hayden stepped in the room first and looked around.

The room was large with an assortment of chairs and shelves. In the exact middle of the room was a bed with green covers. This made Hayden wonder: had she ever been in a bedroom with the bed in the middle of the room, not pushed against a wall. She filed through her mental address book—pulling out the names of friends, stalking victims, sketchy men she found smoking weed behind movie theaters. Everyone she knew whose bedroom she had once entered. She couldn't think of one person whose bed was not pushed against a wall. Conclusion:

"People like being near walls when they sleep," she proclaimed, pleased with her deduction.

Night, who was watching Hayden compute with an amused smile, shook her head. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Hayden tried to explain her reasoning as Night aimlessly investigated the room. She looked through drawers and overturned rugs and pillows. Then, she noticed the ominous lever extended from the wall in the corner of the room.

Night moved toward it and looked at it curiously. "What's this?"

"... So I began to … Hey! Don't ignore me!"

"What do you think this is, Hayden?"

Hayden walked over. "This lever?"

"Yeah."

"Perhaps it has something to do with this plaque next to it. You see: the one with the words?"

"Oh."

They leaned in to read the plaque: _Up is heaven, middle is Earth, down is hell. _

"Obviously," Hayden explained, "If we move the lever up, we'll go to heaven. If we leave it at the middle, we'll stay on Earth. If we move it down, we'll go to hell."

"We should move it up," Night said, "Heaven sounds nice." She reached forward to move the lever up.

"Hell sounds better!" Hayden snarled. She used her ninja skills to move the lever down before Night could touch it.

"Hayden!" she screamed, "What the hell!"

Then time stopped so they could snicker over her witty pun. Get it? Hell? Hah.

Reenter reality: "Hayden!" Night cried again.

"I'm sorry," Hayden whined, "Don't yell at me." She

They waited in silent terror for something terrible to happen. For the floor to part. The walls to collapse. Volcanoes and fire and death to rise above the ground and to destroy all humanity… or at least just Night and Hayden. Satan to unfold his wings, to hiss something in Russian, and to push them over the edge into the flaming pits of eternal and everlasting damnation.

Instead, a chest on the other side of the room moved a few feet across the floor, revealing a large crack in the wooden floor.

Night and Hayden ran to the crack quickly. It wasn't just some old crack. Rather, it seemed like a break in the floor so that the entire floor around it would break through if stepped on. Well, I don't really know how to explain it. Whatever.

"They should really get that fixed," Hayden said bluntly. It was true. The crack was totally ruining the room's tout le décor.

"I agree," Night replied, "But, what should we do?"

Hayden looked up at Night with a gulp. Then, glanced at the bed in the middle of the room. Swallowed. Shook her head. "You won't like my only idea." Night punched her in the stomach again.

"Let's break through the crack. We might find something cool," Night commanded. She prepared to stomp on the crack.

"No! But Night!"

Night turned crossly to Hayden. "What do you want?"

Hayden gave her a small smile. "If you step on a crack, you'll break your mother's back." Blink. Blink.

"Fuck my mother!" Night bellowed, "And fuck her back!" She stomped on the crack until the floor around it caved in. "Hah!" In the floor was a hole, leading to the room below. It was just big enough for either of them to jump through.

So, of course, Night jumped through.

"Wait! But Night!" Hayden cried into the hole once Night entered the room below. "What if the monster's there? Or if we get into trouble for breaking the floor? Or if… We should analyze the situation and…"

"Come down here!" Night called to her, "It's all safe."

Hayden gulped nervously and closed her eyes. Jumped through.

The room under the awkward-bed room: the walls and floors were made of concrete, making the room uncomfortably cold. It was empty except for a few bureaus and bookshelves in the corners. Oh… And a big-ass white, baby grand piano in the dead center of the room.

Night was looking through the bureaus; Hayden ran to the piano, prepared to amaze Night with her improvised classic piano talent. But, to her surprise, the keys around middle C were previously labeled with various numbers in various colors.

"Obviously," Hayden said, "The child who once lived here was learning to play piano, and his teacher labeled the keys for him. But, I've never seen such weird numbers related to the notes… The poor kid must have had a really screwed up piano teacher."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Night asked, looking up from her detective work.

"I'm not sure."

"Of course. Let's go. I'm bored."

"Alright."

Night led Hayden out the door, finding themselves back on the third floor.

"This is a weird house," Hayden said. Suddenly, she felt her heart rate increase. She could feel her heart pound in her chest. She usually would just disregard this and blame it on heart disease or Night or something. But this time, it felt different. "Hey, Night… do you…"

"Shush!" Night hissed. "Don't look now, but he's back."

"Who's back?"

"The monster, _baka,_" Night snapped.

"Where is he?" Hayden whispered, terrified.

"I don't know… but, I… I don't know I can just feel it." Night slowly turned her head to face the monster. Who… guess what… was standing right behind them.

Who could have seen that coming?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3- Steve Reads _Fifty Shades Of Grey_

"Oh… God…" Hayden whimpered as she looked up at the gray monster. She prepared herself to run away back to the land of literature, where she could forever be happy alone and unloved surrounded by dusty, flammable books, when Night grabbed her by the shoulder.

"You ready to fight, Hayden?" she asked with a brave smile.

"Fight? We'll die if we try to fight. Think logically for once. Our odds of being victorious are…" her mind began to calculate…

"Hayden!" Night screamed.

Hayden looked up with wide eyes. "What?"

"Shut up! Do you have something you can fight with?"

"Like…. Like a weapon?"

Night rolled her eyes. "No, stupid." Hayden looked at her hands, trying to think of something she could fight with that was not a weapon.

_Isn't that what a weapon is?_ Hayden wondered, _Well, by definition of weapon (n), from the Old English wǣpen, is something used to injure, defeat, or destroy or a means of contending against another. The term weapon is exactly something with which one would fight. It doesn't make any sense that… _

"YES LIKE A WEAPON!" Night exploded.

"I'm sorry," Hayden said glumly, "All I have are books."

The monster reached forward and grabbed Night by the neck again, repeating what he had done before.

"Use that!" Night managed to gasp, "Use the books… just… help me!"

Hayden looked worriedly at Night as she tried to kick at the monster, but he was smart enough to know to hold her far from his body. Then, she removed a book from her coat and narrowed her eyes at the monster. "Hey, _baka!_" she taunted, "Prepare to get your ass kicked!" Well, that's not likely since it was Hayden trying to fight him.

She used all her power to hit the monster with the thick, hardcover book in her hands. He stumbled backwards and turned to Hayden in shock, as if he hadn't seen her before. Well, that's common, not a lot of people notice Hayden. Her attack alone didn't do much, but it gave Night time to reach her sword. She held it up with the point right before the monster's face, waving it threateningly. "Take that, loser!"

He dropped her, and she managed to land on her soccer cleats. "Here's the deal, Hayden," she said powerfully, "You distract him with your… uh… book, and I'll attack him."

"Aren't you worried about telling me your epic plan with the enemy standing right in front of us?"

"No… he looks pretty stupid. I don't think he understands." She dashed behind the monster with her sword behind her back. Somehow, he didn't notice. Guess he _was _pretty stupid.

Hayden raised her book over her head and began to gibe, "Hey, dingbat! I'm holding a book over my head! Doesn't that bother you? Hey, dingbat, I'm talking to you!"

The monster looked down at Hayden and reached out to grab her. "Oh, shit!" Hayden yelped, and she slapped his hand with her book. Surprisingly, he withdrew his hand and scowled at it.

Night snuck back around and stabbed him in the stomach. The monster looked in shock at Night as she gave him a sly grin.

He grabbed at her head, but she managed to dodge him easily. Then, aggravated, the monster grabbed at Hayden's head. She ducked down and hit him again with her book.

Night managed to get the sword back in her hands and held it bravely in the air. "Ready to die?" she asked him sarcastically.

Obviously, he wasn't… because he disappeared.

"That was cool!" Night called, "I didn't get knocked out this time! And I barely got hurt!"

"That was scary. But, I wonder how he disappeared. It goes against all the laws in physics…"

"Don't worry about it, Hayden." She smirked at her, warmly. "You were great."

"You think?"

"Not really."

"Oh." Hayden put her book back in her coat. "I'm glad I brought it along. We would have been hopeless without it."

"What book is it, anyway?" Night asked, though she really didn't care.

Hayden studied the title page. A small smile popped onto her face. "_Fifty Shades Of Grey."_

"Why are you carrying that of all books around?"

Hayden hugged the book close to her chest. "I don't know. I just am."

Night was shaking her head in disbelief when her eyes caught sight of white lettering floating above Hayden's head. "Hey, Denny! Look!"

Hayden nervously glanced upward. She recoiled a bit. _Hayden's Party Was Victorious. 30 EXP. 150 HETA. Night Has Advanced To Level 3. Hayden Has Advanced To Level 2. _

"Sweet!" Night cried, "I'm a level ahead of you!"

"We don't even know what that means. Don't get all worked up about it. You're acting stupid." Then, the words turned to coins and hailed down on Hayden. She yapped in surprise. But, seriously, who _yaps_? What a useless word.

"You _are_ stupid," Night replied as she amassed all the coins and slid them into her pockets, "I'm starting a collection of these things. They'd make nice souvenirs, right?"

"If we get out alive," Hayden said, "Which is highly unlikely."

"Let's not think about it. We have to find the others."

Hayden flipped her curly hair mysteriously and raised an eyebrow. "What if they're already dead?" She looked incredibly idiotic.

"Let's not think about it!" Night repeated angrily, feeling uncomfortably about Hayden's actions. She began to go down the stairs leading to the second floor, away from her.

"Wait!" Hayden called after her, "But… Night? Can I ask you something?"

She turned around, exasperated. "What?"

Hayden looked at her hands and blushed. "Would you hug me again?"

"Um…" She blinked three times. Awkward silence. Nothing except the sound of Hayden tapping her fingers together anxiously.

Night flipped her bangs over her eyes. "Not now!" And she rushed down the stairs. Hayden followed with less "excitement".

Now the second floor was much bigger than the third and fourth, and it had much more rooms. Plus, most of the doors were locked, as they discovered.

They would go to each door. Hayden would try to open it. Night would call Hayden weak and try to open it herself. Then, the door wouldn't open. Night would curse and kick the door. And curse herself for kicking the door when the pain would fire up through her body from her foot.

When a door would open, nobody would be inside. However, they did find a few bedrooms, and, to Hayden's delight, the beds were pushed against the walls.

"There's nothing on this story of the house," Hayden concluded when they entered the last open bedroom. They meandered inside, tired from searching.

"But I already checked the first floor. Hollyn and Stevie aren't… Wait! Look!" Night pointed under the bed showing a large golden key.

Hayden took it up and examined it. Conclusion: "It's a key."

"Good job," Night said sarcastically, "What does it open?"

Suddenly, white lettering appeared over the key: _Opens Second Floor Bedroom. _

"What's with all these words?" Night asked herself. But Hayden had already launched into a rant of her own.

"What a stupid thing to say!" she exclaimed, "We already _are _in a second floor bedroom. How are we supposed to know which of the locked doors is _the _second floor bedroom? Do we have to check all the doors with this key? If so, I'm going to…"

The words changed: _The Bedroom Near The Staircase Leading Up, You Ungrateful Broad. _

"Oh. Alright, let's go." Hayden began to leave, but Night took her by the shoulder.

"What if the monster comes back?"

"We'd kick his ass again." Hayden punched the air and gave Night a wild grin. Then, she felt self-conscious and covered her face with her hands.

"You're starting to sound like me," Night said amusedly, "But, seriously, I don't think I'm strong enough the handle it again. Not now, at least."

"Then, I'll help you," Hayden said earnestly, "You can trust me."

Night looked at Hayden solidly. For months, she was scared of even looking her in the eye. But, the fear… erm… no, she can't fear… adrenaline she encountered in that house sent her closer to Hayden emotionally.

Squeal. That's all Hayden did about it.

They set off to The Bedroom Near The Staircase Leading Up, You Ungrateful Broad with key in hand.

And… guess what!

The key worked!

And… guess who was in that room?

"DAMN IT!" Hayden cried when the door opened. Sitting on the bed was Hollyn, writing furiously on a loose piece of paper. Stevie was in the corner, gently picking at a cobweb.

"What's wrong?" Night exclaimed happily, "We found them!" She ran over to Stevie, leaned over, and gave her a big hug.

_Why does Stevie get a hug? _Hayden wondered, _I'm way cooler than Stevie. I mean, look at her! What a freak! She doesn't deserve Night's hugs. _"I liked being alone with you," Hayden answered under her breath.

"Where have you been?" Night asked, ignoring her stalker.

"Here," Hollyn replied shortly, still writing, "Wait two seconds, let me finish this."

Eighty-four seconds later: "All done!" Hollyn cheered.

"What were you doing?" Night asked walking over to the bed.

"NO!" Hollyn protested bringing the paper to her chest.

"What were you writing?" Night repeated.

"It's a list."

Hayden's face brightened. Perhaps Hollyn was more practical than she thought. Coming up with ideas about means of escaping. Contacting the outside world. Killing that monster. She came up next to her and tried to take the paper. "Of what?"

"Animes."

Night, who was also expecting a Haydenesque list of practicality, began to laugh. "Dafuq?"

Stevie looked up from her corner with big eyes and mimicked her. "Dafuq!"

"I was bored," Hollyn sang, "So I made a list."

"Why didn't you just leave?" Night asked, "And how did you open the door?"

"Well… we lost the key and…"

"How about this?" Hayden interrupted, "Why don't you start from the beginning? From when you first separated from us."

"Well…" Hollyn began, "I remember it like it was just yesterday…"

"It was… like… three hours ago." Night flipped her bangs.

"Shush!" Hollyn hissed, "I'm storytelling! Well… I grabbed Stevie by the arm and led her upstairs. We found a key laying on the ground in the hallway, and some words appeared saying it was for this room. So, we ran here and hid under the bed. Well… I did. I had lost Stevie at some point, so I came out to get her. I left the room's door open. I'm not really sure why. So, I found Stevie in the hallway, whittling with a piece of wood…"

"Haha," Hayden said with a straight face, "Wood."

"… I brought Stevie back, but left the key somewhere. And I didn't realize it until I closed the door. You need the key to open the door. Even from the inside."

"We found it in another bedroom," Night said.

"Neither of us entered any rooms."

"Well… that's weird. But, whatever… let's not worry about it now," Night crashed onto the bed, "I want to sleep. I think it's nighttime. But, I can't tell. My cell phone won't turn in this stupid house."

"Mine doesn't work either," Hollyn said, taking it out and shaking it in the air, "Turn on, phone! Turn on!"

"I never turn my cell phone on," Hayden supplied pointlessly, "It's sitting alone and unloved back home."

"Because you wasted all your cell phone credits texting me," Night sang with a big grin. She was temporarily glad she was so important in someone's life.

"Well… I'll sleep on the bed," Hollyn said, changing the subject.

"I'll sleep with you," Night added, "But, I should tell you, I like being on the bottom."

Everyone in the room looked up at Night in surprise. Except Hayden… who looked up in anger. "I want to sleep on the bed, Hollyn!"

Hollyn was already gathering her lists from the bed. "You can take it. I hate sharing beds with people. I can sleep on the floor if I find a blanket or something… and Stevie…" Everyone turned to look at Stevie. She had abandoned the corner and was rolling across the wood floor.

"You're fine with the floor, right?" Night asked.

Stevie smiled and nodded. And started rolling again.

Hayden took her coat off and hung it off the back of a chair. It fell off, making her do "the noise" in anger. Kicked off her combat boots, leaving them spread out on the floor. Then, she tucked herself into the bed and curled up against the wall. "I like walls," she said.

Night looked in horror at Hollyn, who gave her a smirk.

She untied her cleats and tossed them under the bed. Then, she slid into the bed next to Hayden. An evil smile spread across Hayden's face. She thought evil thoughts.

"Someone turn out the light. I'm exhausted," Night yelled into her pillow, sensing the aura of evil next to her.

"I have to find a blanket, first," Hollyn said as she looked around the room, picking through drawers and bureaus.

Thirty minutes later. She couldn't find one and settled with Hayden's coat. Then, she turned out the light.

After five minutes of silence, Hayden rolled around deliberately, atop Night.

"Hayden…" Night said threateningly, head pressed into her pillow.

"I'm sorry. There's no space."

"I swear, Hayden…"

"There's _NO_ space."

Night pushed Hayden off and used her samurai strength to knock her against the wall. Hayden burst into giggles and pushed Night back. Bad idea, Hayden. Night shook Hayden by the shoulders and called, "I'm tired! Let me fucking sleep!"

"What are you doing?" Hollyn asked into the darkness.

"Night and I are being rough in bed," Hayden said with a huge grin nobody could see cuz the room was dark and stuff…

"HAYDEN! SHUT UP!"

After a few more silent minutes, Hollyn said, "So... what are we going to do tomorrow?"

Night groaned loudly and rolled around. "I don't know."

"Maybe we should find Nevelyn," Stevie said.

Now everyone had almost completely forgotten about the Stevie in the room. So everyone screamed in terror at the unfamiliar voice.

Then, they interpreted what she said.

"Yeah…" Night said, "We should look for Nevelyn. I hope she's fine."

"I hope she's dead," Hayden said.

"HAYDEN!" Night and Hollyn both screamed.

"I'm just kidding. I wouldn't want her to die. Perhaps just fatally wounded…"

"HAYDEN!"

"I'll shut up now."

Three more minutes of darkness.

"You know…" started Night.

Hollyn and Hayden both gasped exaggeratedly.

"… we all forgot to brush our teeth." Night finished.

Such a frivolous thing, considering all their fighting and running and searching. I mean, who cares about brushing her heir teeth when she was just slammed against walls and knocked unconscious by a huge, gray alien? Only a completely insane, narrow-minded…

"Damn you, Night!" Hayden cried, standing up. She began to shuffle towards to the door.

"Where are you going?" Hollyn asked angrily.

"To find a bathroom. I have to brush my teeth."

"You could just brush them tomorrow," Night supplied.

"But… I can't sleep knowing I didn't…"

"You're screwed up," Hollyn said, "How do you expect to brush your teeth in an abandoned mansion?"

Hayden stole her coat back and fished through the pockets in the darkness, knocking books out of the coat and on top of Hollyn.

"HAYDEN!"

"I have a tooth brush in here somewhere. I know it! I know it! Found iiit!" She scuffled to the door and let herself out, making sure she kept the key with her.

It was pitch dark in the hallways.

Considering how "smart" Hayden was, it was relatively stupid of her to go out alone at night where a monster was prowling about. But, she was determined to brush her teeth. Even an oversized monster couldn't stop her from fighting off Mr. Tooth Decay.

Hayden felt the walls as she slid up and down the hallways. And downstairs. Hoping for a light switch that never appeared.

Suddenly, something caught her eye on the first floor. It looked like a person's shadow lurking across the wall.

She stopped and held her breath. Pretended to be tree.

Two shadows. They weren't big. Like monsters. They were… normal. They were humans.

Humans. Other people. She almost squealed.

They began to whisper to each other. Hayden listened intently. She could barely hear:

"_Alfred… I think Kiku lied." _

_ "About what, dude?" _

_ "He said he saw a girl get attacked by that THING earlier today." _

_"A girl? Ew. Girls have cooties." _

_ "Oh, grow up! But, nobody else had seen anyone special." _

_ "Yeah… Artie, I'm tired." _

_ "Okay, let's go back and report this to Ludwig. That we found no-." _

The two shadows became two men standing silently right in front of Hayden. Both were taller than her, and older by about five years. The one on her left was taller than the other and had sandy blond hair with a strange curl at his forehead. He wore glasses and an aviator's getup. The other had punk-like, blond hair sans a strange curl. He wore a green military uniform. But, the most dominating (and smexy) feature of his was his eyebrows. Dark, layered, mysterious.

They all stood staring at each other for an awkward few seconds. The men looked as shocked as Hayden felt. Her mouth hung open, making her look retarded, but she didn't realize it.

"Hey…" one of the men started. The taller one with glasses.

Hayden was speechless. "Eh..." Then, she whirled around and took off. She didn't feel like getting raped. Isn't that how all those rape stories on the news start? A teenage girl cornered by older military dudes at night in a mansion in the middle of nowhere while she was looking for a bathroom so she could brush her teeth… Stranger danger x 2.

She reentered the bedroom, terrified. Slammed the door and locked it three times.

"What happened, Hayden?" Night asked, sitting up, "You seem anxious."

"I… I…" she hesitated. What would happen if she told the truth? They'd contact a rape hotline… those two men would return in revenge and knock her up… she'd get excommunicated by her family… she'd become overwhelmed and jump off a bridge…

What would happen if she lied? She'd go back to bed and sleep with Night.

"I saw a weird refrigerator and thought it was that dumbass monster… er… that's what happens when you read too much _Fifty Shades Of Grey _before bed, right? Hehe."

"Whatever. Just don't scare me again."

"You were scared for me?"

"No. Go to bed."

"Okay."

And Hayden slipped back into bed and tried to forget what she just saw.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4 Night Eats A German Man's Potatoes

Hayden was dreaming of the usual that night, curled close to her darling Night. You know… the usual: Roberto… Nazis…

Now, before I start talking about her dream, pretending like you know who the hell Roberto is, I'll tell you who exactly Roberto is…

The year before, when Hayden 'n' Friends started at Holy, All-Mighty, Immaculate Cross of Israel Catholic High School for Practicing Christians (est. 1915; sinners dare not enter), she had met Roberto Giovanni di Boney. He was Italian. No really!

He was also in her homeroom and history and biology classes. He was short, skinny, nerdy, klutzy, and rather ugly... but Hayden fell for him anyway. It all began as a normal teenage crush, but then she started sitting in his garage late at night, stalking his family and following his mother to and from work, and occasionally taking his cell phone and licking it (not a euphemism for anything).

He really didn't seem to care, though. It did bother him, but he never confronted her about it. Good thinking, Roberto. If you did that, you'd probably be killed. By Hayden. At some point.

Well, in Hayden's dream, she was the eldest daughter of a rich widower in Austria right before the Second World War. She wore pretty dresses and had a lot of brother and sisters and a governess who taught her how to sing. She also had secret romance with Roberto. He sent telegrams to her father, and she would sneak away with him. Then, they'd sing to each other in the gazebo in her backyard. Then, Germany invaded Austria (teehee). The plot got somewhat hard to follow until the end. Hayden, her governess-turn-step-mother, and the rest of her family were hiding in a convent from the evil Nazis. Then, she saw Roberto was a Nazi, too. This broke her heart. So… she went crazy and shot everyone in her family with a gun she had conveniently in her waistband. She was dragged to a mental hospital and killed slowly and painfully in unspeakable ways involving unwashed sex toys.

The usual.

"Don't!"

The others were already awake and conversing on the other side of the room. When Hayden began calling out in her sleep, they came over to see what the hell was wrong with her.

"Clean it first!" She began to kick at her pillow.

They began to giggle to themselves.

She woke up screaming.

The first thing she saw was all her friends and their amused smiles.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Night asked, though she didn't really care.

Hayden was crying, embarrassed. "I… I was having a nightmare."

"No duh!"

"Tell us about it!" Hollyn cheered.

"Um…" Hayden hesitated. Then, she straight-out lied, "I was dreaming that we were on the first floor, and two men came and raped us. Then, we discovered Night wasn't really a female. But they raped her… him anyway." She began to laugh, astonished by her ninja-like lying abilities.

Her friends watched in disbelief. "Rape isn't funny," Hollyn said quietly, "I have this cousin who—."

"And I'm very female," Night interrupted, face red, chin trembling.

No, she wasn't. JK. She totally was.

"I have boobies," Stevie said happily. Everyone ignored her. She proclaimed that almost five times daily. No matter where she was or who she was with.

"Just forget about it," Hayden said, getting out of bed, "It was nothing."

"That's pretty disturbing," Hollyn said, "That we all got…"

"That I was a dude."

"I said to forget about it," Hayden exclaimed. She ran her fingers through her hair to attempt to straighten it. Epic fail. "We have to go find Nevelyn."

First floor. Hayden watched nervously around, expecting to find those men again. After a few minutes of her shaking uncontrollably and glancing around every corner, she realized everyone was watching her.

"What's wrong with you, Hayden?" Hollyn asked.

"Um…"

"That THING isn't going to attack. If he does, I'll kick his-," began Night.

"It's not that," Hayden cut in.

"Then what is it?"

"It's… it's…" Hayden was about to tell them everything. About her encounter with those men. Then, something caught her eye: Stevie wandering away, going around a corner. "Stevie!"

All her incredibly ADD friends turned away and chorused, "STEVIE!"

Stevie looked at them with big eyes. "Yes?"

"Come back here!" Hollyn laughed.

Stevie obeyed. "But, there was something really funny-looking over there."

"What?" Hayden interrupted, "Was it a man? Was it two men? Three men? Was it a whole legion of men? Don't worry, Stevie! We'll never let you get raped!"

Everyone looked at her, confused. "Is there something you want to tell us?" Night asked.

"No!" exclaimed Hayden, "What would make you think that?"

"You were talking about rape."

"Yeah. And?"

"Well!" Stevie said loudly, "I found the bathroom."

"Why's that so funny?" Hollyn asked.

"The toilet's surrounded with… well, just follow me."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Night exclaimed as Stevie led them down a hallway and into the bathroom.

She saw what the fuck she was talking about.

The toilet was surrounded with shelves, stocked with Japanese-style rice balls and cans of beer. Also, on the top of the toilet's tank was a coin slot. A sign hung over the entire contraption. _Onigiri 30 and Beer 35._

"Onigiri?" Hollyn asked curiously, "Sounds Japanese. Me likey!" She reached forward to take one of the rice balls. But a green force field fell over each serving of rice, burning her fingers.

Hollyn squealed and jumped back about ten feet.

"I can't reach it!"

"We noticed," Night said sarcastically.

"Judging by this coin slot and the sign," Hayden said intelligently, "And Hollyn's inability to shoplift. Perhaps you must insert a series of coins to lower the field and retract a rice ball or can of beer. If only we had money or small coins…" She began to hum, pondering. Rubbing her chin. CLICHÉ!

Night watched her in disbelief. What an idiot. "Hayden… we do…"

"Do what?"

"Have these." Night retracted a handful of coins from her pocket. The ones she had picked up throughout the house. After studying them, she realized they all had different values, ranging from 5 to 50 HETAs. "Perhaps if I…"

She slipped a ten and a twenty into the coin slot and reached for a rice ball, which she obtained easily.

"You're smart," Hayden said. She grabbed Night by the shoulder and laid her head on it.

"Hayden…" Night muttered, clenching her jaw.

"Yes?" Hayden sang.

"You're penetrating my personal bubble."

"Haha," Hayden sighed, "Penetrate."

Night knocked her onto the ground and kicked her in the side. "SHUT UP, HAYDEN!"

Hayden burst into giggles. "Night… " KICK "Is…" KICK "Touching…" KICK "Me!" KICK, KICK, KICK. She slouched over and put her head on her lap, laughing her head out.

Night handed Hollyn the rice ball, ignoring Hayden. "Here… want to eat it?"

"Alright." She ate it quickly despite her recent mouth surgery making it barely possible for her to eat solid foods.

"This is good," Hollyn said, "I feel almost…" More white lettering. This time, above Hollyn's head. _HP Restored To 792. _"Stronger!" Hollyn finished. She punched the wall, powerfully. This resulted in a large bruise across her knuckles.

"I wonder what would happen if I drank one of these beers…" Night said thumbing HETAs into the coin slot.

She took a beer and popped the tab. Lettering: _MP Restored To 500. _Night brought the can up to her lips anyway.

"NIGHT!" Hollyn exclaimed, "What do you think you are doing?"

"I'm experimenting."

"That is underage drinking! You already restored your MP whatever that means," Hollyn cried taking the beer from her.

"I won't get drunk. Don't worry about it." Night took the can back, swallowed a mouthful of beer, and sighed. "Worry about it," she repeated.

Well, long story short… after thirty minutes Night was finishing her fourth can of beer, disappointed. "How come I'm not getting drunk?" she demanded, frustrated.

"Maybe you don't easily get drunk," Hayden said, "That's caused by an imbalance in the levels of…"

"Shut up, Hayden. Obviously this easily real beer. I think the…"

Hollyn was reading one of the empty cans. "Yeah…" she said, "It says the alcohol is removed."

"DAMN IT!" Night exclaimed. She threw a can at Hollyn's face. "I fucking drank all those fucking beers… and the fucking alcohol was taken out? WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"Look at the bright side," Hollyn said, "And least your MP was restored…"

"I spent all those HETAs on beer WITHOUT alcohol! This was so stupid. Let's go and find Nevelyn and never come to this room again! Actually… I'm pretty hungry. I want food!" She thundered out of the room angrily.

Hayden chuckled. "Ha. Come."

Hollyn rolled her eyes and grabbed Stevie by the wrist, leading her after Night. Hayden ran behind.

Night led the parade to the kitchen.

Guess who was there.

No, not Steve, stupid.

It was Nevelyn. DUH!

Night stopped in the doorway when she saw her. Hollyn and Hayden curiously peered around her. Stevie was still in the hallway, eating lead paint chips. Meanwhile,

Nevelyn was unconscious in the corner of the kitchen, blood spread across her face and shirt. Hollyn screamed in terror.

"She's dead!" Night exclaimed shocked.

"I called it," Hayden called out.

Night came to Nevelyn's side. "Nevelyn? Are you okay? Wait…"

No. It wasn't blood. It was all strawberry juice. All around Nevelyn were cartons of strawberries. She rolled around and sighed in her sleep, "Hmm… Strawberries…"

"She's fine," Night said boredly, "It's all just strawberry juice."

"Stupid!" Hayden cried. She punched a wall and strut across the room, pouting.

"Wake up, Nevelyn!" Hollyn shrieked, shaking Nevelyn gently.

"W… what?" She awoke, bleary-eyed.

"It's all of us! Me… and Night… and Stevie."

"Hayden's not here?"

"She is. Over there in the corner."

"Damn it…" Nevelyn picked herself up onto her feet.

"Where did you get those strawberries?" Night asked jealously.

"I found them here. They seemed alright… so I ate them all."

"I hate you."

Nevelyn looked down at herself. Her white camisole, blue sweater, green miniskirt, fishnet stockings, and stripper boots were all stained light pink. Even her oversized purse which contained absolutely everything imaginable. Seriously… everything. "Oh my God, yousguys! Everything's ruined! Even my designer beg!"

Everyone glanced at each other, withholding giggles over Nevelyn's ungodly strong Minnesota accent.

"Beg?" Night ventured.

Nevelyn's eyes flashed as she whipped her head to face Night. "What did you say?"

Stupid Night laughed. "You said 'beg' instead of 'bag'!"

Nevelyn clipped her pepper spray key chain off her beg and held it in front of Night's face. "How would you like to be blind, bitch?"

Night's smile faded. "Whoa… Nevelyn…"

Nevelyn put the pepper spray in her bag and turned around, showing Night how much she cared. "Yeah," she said sharply, "That's what I thought…"

"I'm so glad you're alive!" Hollyn cheered, oblivious to the confrontation that just occurred. "We all missed you!"

Nevelyn's smile returned. "Oh? That's fabulous." She sat herself in the middle of the floor and applied lipstick.

Hayden looked at Nevelyn enviously. _I want to be pretty, _she complained in her head, _Nevelyn's pretty, and I'm not. _She set her head between her hands and began to chant, "Angst! Angst! Angst!" repeatedly.

Everyone in the room watched her, entertained.

Suddenly, Stevie, from just outside the kitchen, screamed.

"Fuck!" Night cried, "I bet it's that THING again."

"Or!" Hayden said quickly, standing up, "It could be a couple of military personals out ready to rape us."

"What?"

"Oh… nothing."

Everyone rushed out of the room and found… guess who… the monster standing above Stevie. She was cowering on the floor with paint chips littering her lap. Her eyes were wide in terror.

"STEVIE!" Hollyn shouted as she closed in on her, hugging her.

The monster attacked. Sent slash marks across Hollyn's face. She recoiled a bit.

But, Night was there to save the day. She sent her sword flying towards the monster, but he easily ducked, and she tripped, landing against the wall.

Nevelyn started throwing strawberries at the monster. Which surprisingly confused him. He began swatting at the air, eyes squinted.

"I thought you were out of strawberries," Night glowered at Nevelyn jealously.

"Um… I… uh…. Hey, Hayden, look! Hollyn wants to steal Night from you!"

Hayden took her _Fifty Shades Of Grey _from her detective's jacket and hatefully hit Hollyn over the head with it.

"Good heavens!" Hollyn said innocently, "Don't attack _me _when the monster is right there!"

Hayden rolled her eyes. The monster tried to attack her with his claws of fury, but she shielded herself with the book.

Night stumbled to her feet. "Damn… if Hayden is the only one attacking that THING, we'll never get anything done."

"Hey!" Hayden exclaimed indignantly. She set her book down in protest, and she was immediately knocked to the floor by the monster.

"I can help!" Hollyn cried pulling a bottle of Febreze from her back pocket. Why was she… never mind.

"Get that stuff away! My allergies will act up again!" Nevelyn squealed, and she started throwing strawberries at her.

"Quit it!" Hollyn called. She sprayed the disgusting stuff at the monster's face. He stumbled backwards, clawing out his own eyes.

"Good thinking!" Nevelyn complimented as she took out her pepper spray. "This works well on all the guys who try to rape when I walk the streets in miniskirts very late at night."

"They probably just think you're a prostitute," Night said holding out her sword at the monster.

Nevelyn smiled to herself and shrugged. "Perhaps."

"And you're proud of that?" Hayden questioned, standing back up.

"Perhaps."

The monster swung at Hayden's head, and Nevelyn sent pepper spray at his face. Luckily, he turned away just in time. Luckily for him, I mean.

Hayden squealed and ducked about ten seconds later. Someone's pretty slow.

Night struck the monster in the side. But he easily pushed her away. She tumbled into Hayden, sending them both spilling across the hard wood floor. Night stood herself up and checked herself over. Her knee looked out of its socket and her nose was bleeding, but she felt fine otherwise. She looked down at Hayden who remained on the floor; she was motionless with her eyes shut.

"Hayden!" Night exclaimed. She paused, waiting for a response. Nada. "Oh God! I killed Hayden!"

Hollyn and Nevelyn turned in horror. The monster also turned to watch. But… with less horror and more delight.

"She's the first of us to die," Night continued glumly. She sank to her knees and took one of her hands in both of her own. "And she was so good with diet and exercise. She had no warning factors. I was supposed to die first. Me!" She began to cry and shook her fist at the sky. "Why couldn't it be me?" she screamed.

Hollyn and Nevelyn were shocked. Everyone thought Night hated Hayden. Who would have seen…

"Maybe she's alive," Hollyn suggested, "Check her pulse or something…"

Night looked up at Hollyn with her bloody eyes full of tears. "Alive? Pulse?" Then, she placed her fingers on her neck and felt around. "PULSE!" she cried, "But… she might still die. How could we save her?"

"Mouth-to-mouth should work."

Silence. Hayden's eyes were still closed, but an unrestraint smile was spreading across her face. Thinking about her spoken idea fondly.

"DAMN YOU, HAYDEN!" Night screamed. She stood back up and kicked Hayden's head. Round like a soccer ball… but I tad bit bigger.

"You didn't have to kick me…" Hayden sat up, rubbing her head. She was laughing jovially.

"I HATE YOU!"

The monster also seemed disappointed. He hissed, stomped his foot, and retreated. Disappeared.

Hollyn hugged Hayden with a cheer. "Aw! We thought you died!"

"I told you I'm a good actress."

"You were right…. Wait… where's Stevie?"

Everyone turned in unison to see Stevie in the corner picking at a scab on her elbow.

"STEVIE!" everyone bellowed.

She looked up in shock. "Did something happen? Oh, no, Night! Your nose is bleeding."

"I'm hungry," Night declared as she stormed back into the kitchen.

"We'll be out here," Nevelyn said. She took out her hairbrush and gel, proceeding to groom herself.

Hollyn went to the front door, which, by the way, was nearby. She pulled at the door. "Gosh darn it! It won't open!"

"Of course not," Hayden said, "It's illogical to think it would." She sat herself down on the ground with her pocket graphing-calculator and started doing math.

Suddenly, she was kicked forward. The calculator skipped across the floor and came to a stop in the corner. The monster reappeared behind her with a scowl.

"Oh, shit…" Hayden cried looking behind her to see the monster. "Night!"

"Wait! I'm eating!" Night called from the kitchen.

Hollyn, Nevelyn, and Stevie all backed into a corner. This monster was after Hayden. He wanted her to die.

"God! Oh, God! God!" Hayden winced. She stood up weakly and took out her only weapon, her erotica.

Instantly, it was knocked to the floor.

Hayden squeezed her eyes shut and hoped for a rapid end.

She waited.

And waited.

She stood there waiting for thirty seconds before she realized the monster wasn't going to attack. She looked.

The monster was gone.

In its place was a man. Short with silky black hair and a white military uniform. A bloody sword in his hand. Hayden's friends were cowering in shock.

"A man!" Hayden called in surprise, "Just like the men before!"

"What men?" Nevelyn snapped, "If you saw men, you should have…"

"No men! Forget what I said."

This black-haired man looked winded, breathing hard. "Ko… Konnichiwa…" he managed, "Ogenki desu ka?"

Hayden blinked a few times. "Hello," she stated bluntly and loudly, "My _name _is _Hayden_. I come in _peace_."

The man shook his head. "I speak Engrish, you know."

"Oh."

He extended his hand to Hayden. "My name is Honda Kiku. But, you can just car me Kiku."

"That's an odd name. Are you Japanese?"

"What do you think?"

Why didn't it register before? The yellow skin and squinty eyes. Of course he's Japanese. "You are Japanese."

"Good job. I, too, come in peace. I have friends with me in Rudwig's fortress. You shourd come with me to see them."

"Uh…"

Night came out of the kitchen and gasped. "Le gasp!"

"Um…" Hayden started, "This is Night. Night, this is Kiku. He lives here."

"Rive here?" Kiku exclaimed, "Her no. We too came to this house and got trapped. I wonder how you came in though…"

"The door was open," Night said, "We came inside."

"Open?"

"Have you fought that monster before, Kiku?" Of course. As usual, Night overshadowed Hayden in the social department. She figuratively pushed Hayden into the corner with the others and took on the conversation with the stranger.

"Unfortunatery. He is very…" he pursed his rips, I mean, lips, "Persistent. And it wir probabry come back. Come to the fortress, immediantry. All of you."

"Come on, y'all!" Night tried to coral her friends to follow Kiku.

"Wait!" Hayden cried, "Consider this. This man is a stranger. He could be sending us to a rape house as far as we know!"

I apologize for my overuse of the term "rape" in this story. -_-

"Trust me," Kiku said, "I am very trustworthy. I have my friends… Rudwig, Arfred, Ivan…"

"See!" Hayden exclaimed, "All men!"

"We're ar stir questioning Yao's gender… but, whatever."

"Let's go, Hayden!" Night commanded, "I'm fucking tired. I want to see what this dude is all about."

Hayden considered this. "Alright."

Of course, neither Hollyn, Nevelyn, nor Stevie had any decision in this. Kiku led them to a second floor bedroom and to a steel door in the corner. It swung open and led to a stairway.

"We're gonna die…" Hayden said as they climbed the stairway.

But, she was wrong again.

The stairs led to warm, nice, large room. With a well-stocked kitchen, 8- bed sleeping corner, and dining room.

A medley of grown men, between the ages of 19 to 4000, were seated around the table. Hayden, Hollyn, and Nevelyn gasped in exclamation.

"FOOD!" Night ran to the kitchen and started eating potatoes that were laid out.

"Night!" Hayden cried, "You just ate. And, potatoes? Fast-burning carbs? Are you an idiot?"

"HEY!" one of the men stood up and ran after Night, "Zat is mein food, goomba!"

"Rudwig!" Kiku quietly intervened. "Prease! They are tired…"

"FINE!" Hayden looked at this new dude. He also wore a military uniform. Swept-back blond hair and electric blue eyes. Very tall and muscular. Perfect rape suspect.

"Now…" Kiku said leading Hayden 'n' Friends to the dining area, "Ret me introduce to you, my friends," He pointed to eat man in order, "Arfred, Arthur, Francis, Antonio, Rovino, Fericiano, Yao, and Ivan."

Now, each girl's eyes cast upon a different man. And each man's eyes cast upon a different girl. Conveniently, most of them matched up.

Hayden approached Arthur. The man with the thick eyebrows she saw the other night. She extended her hand. "Hello," she said sweetly, "My name is Hayden." Arthur smiled warmly, went on one knee and kissed her hand.

"Pleased to finally meet you." He winked. Hayden felt straight.

Hollyn skipped over to Alfred and squealed. "Hey, I'm Hollyn. You seem nice."

Alfred grinned wide. "I'm better than nice. I'm the hero!"

Night slid to Yao. "I'm Night Moon. You look badass."

"I am." The dove into a badass conversation about being badass.

Nevelyn turned to Francis. "My name's Nevelyn. How do you get your hair so silky smooth? I have big breasts. You're hot. Can I have your children?"

Francis leaned in close to Nevelyn and fingered her chin. "I thought you'd never ask." Nevelyn smirked at her friends.

Stevie floated to Ivan. "I'm Stevie."

"I'm Ivan Braginski. Let's be friends."

"Okey-dokey!" X3


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5- Roberto Comes Out of the Closet

"I don't understand…" Hayden said looking around at the men surrounded her and her friends, "Who are all of you?" This feeling of incompetency made her shiver.

"Isn't it obvious?" Alfred cheered, "We're all countr…"

"FRIENDS!" Ludwig interrupted. He punched Alfred in the face. "We're all longtime friends."

"Longtime friends?" Hayden questioned suspiciously, "Hell… I'll bite. But, why are you here?"

Alfred answered her again. "Ita… Feliciano told me about this here mansion, and I convinced a lot of us to come and check it all out. Then, we were stuck in here. We can't get out, dude!"

"Good job making everything seem so simple, wanker," Arthur said smoothly. He crossed his arms over his chest and turned his back to Alfred, "Honestly… the story is very complicated. And there're a lot of things even we don't know or understand… I'm sorry…"

"It's fine," Hayden said quickly, blushing.

Her friends gawked. When did Hayden become so romantic? Towards a male…

"How do you know each other?" Night asked the group of men. She was angry someone was being more social than her.

Arthur stepped in with his entire fucking life story. "Well! Francis and I have been… er… acquaintances for centuries, I mean, years. Alfred is my adopted baby brother. Right, Alfred?"

"Dude! I'm the hero!"

Yao picked up the story. "I raised Kiku… though, he isn't very proud of it. And Ivan's been derping around whole damn time."

"Also," Ludwig said, "Gilbert is my good friend and brother. And… er… Feliciano… he and I… we met…"

"In a tomato box!" Feliciano finished.

"Right…" Ludwig said turning away, blushing, "A tomato box."

"Wait!" Hollyn said. She pointed to the diaphanous lonely man in the corner, clutching to a stuffed bear. "What about him? What was his name?"

"Matthew," he whispered.

Hollyn couldn't hear him. "It was a Gospel writer… Mark? Luke? John? Who am I missing?"

"Peter?" Nevelyn suggested. She was wrapped in Francis's arms, giggling. Peter was the only name she could think of.

"Peter's not a Gospel writer, you _baka_!" Hayden and Arthur cried at the same time.

"Matthew," the invisible ghost whispered again.

"Matthew!" Hollyn cried, "That was his name! Matthew! How do you know Matthew?"

"Yo! He's totally my broseph!" Alfred announced.

"I thought you two looked alike," Hollyn said. She lowered her voice for just Alfred to hear. "_You're _much hotter though." Unfortunately for Hollyn, one of her whispers was about as loud as how she normally talked. (i.e. she can't whisper)

"Hey!" Matthew began to protest, but nobody could hear him and nobody really cared anyway.

"I still don't understand this," Hayden said, shaking her head, "How long have you been here?"

The men all glanced at each other. "We don't know," Kiku ventured carefully.

"How do you not know what…"

"Our watches… oh, excuse me for interrupting you… became broken when we entered this house. We do not know what time it is..."

"Watches?" Nevelyn exclaimed, "Who wears watches anymore?"

Upon hearing his, Francis quickly removed his watch and shoved it into his pocket. "_La montre_?" he sputtered, "Watches are so not _chouette_. How silly they are, non?"

"I know French!" Nevelyn announced proudly.

"Oh?" Francis raised his eyebrows handsomely, "Well, _comme tu es belle ce soir! Non_?"

"Er…"

"_Je suis amoureux de toi!" _

"Well… I learned it… um… when I lived in Paris… um… when I was little? Um… bonjour?"

Francis rolled his eyes, but attacked Nevelyn with a hug anyway. "_Baiser le cul de quelqu'un_," he muttered under his breath sarcastically. Of course, Nevelyn didn't know what he said. She didn't really know French, if you couldn't figure that out.

"Bonjour, mon ami!" Nevelyn replied with a romantic giggle. Then, she stuck her tongue in his mouth.

"EW!" Hollyn and Alfred both squealed. Hollyn instantly hid behind Hayden, and Alfred hid behind Arthur.

"Oh, grow up!" Hayden and Arthur both sighed.

Night ignored them and engaged in a serious conversation with Yao about being badass.

But, Stevie, not understanding the idea of privacy, stood right before Nevelyn and Francis and watched them make out with eyes wide. She hummed quietly. Weirdo.

Ivan stood aside from the rest and muttered to himself as Ludwig tied Feliciano's shoelace. Gilbert stood there looking awesome.

Who am I missing?

No-one. Never mind.

After ten minutes of snogging-and-squealing-and-sighing-and-standing-and-sulking-and –stuff, Night said bravely, "We should stay here. With our new friends. Until we can figure some way to get out. It's safe here, right?"

"That THING hadn't attacked us in here yet," Ludwig said.

"That's good. So why don't we stay here?"

"There're only ten beds," Hayden pointed out.

"Um…"

Everyone stood in silence. They looked at their feet.

"Perhaps we should share our beds," Francis said grabbing at Nevelyn's butt. Nevelyn playfully slapped his hand and laughed like a model… or a Barbie… or just a slut.

"Damn it, Francis!" Arthur exclaimed, face red, "What do you think you are doing to our guest? You are not being a gentleman."

"Not being a gentleman?" Francis replied angrily, "_You're _the one NOT being a gentleman. Look at you! Look at your pants! Every time you see that femme… er… Hayley in that sexy mini skirt, you get a bo…"

"SHUT UP, you cheese eating bastard!" Arthur spinning around to show his back to him. "Why were you looking at my Big Ben, anyway? You vile old man!"

Francis gasped. "I'm not old! I'm the big brother, you… you… black sheep of Europe!"

"I swear to Satan, I will fucking end you!"

"Wait! You think Hayden's skirt is sexy?" Nevelyn slapped Francis across the face.

Francis pushed his long blond hair out of his face sheepishly. "N…no!" he stammered, "Your skirt is way sexier…"

"Makes her look like a whore," Arthur said, crossing his arms in front of his chest, "At least, Hayden here is classy. Plaid is in style."

Francis exploded in rage. "Plaid is NOT in style, you… you… scone!"

"Did you just bloody call me a scone?"

The two men kept bickering, leaving Hayden and Nevelyn abandoned.

Nevelyn snuck up to Hayden and whispered, "I'm not used to this."

"Used to what?"

"Men bickering around me when they are not bickering OVER me."

"I'm not used to this, either. A man just called me sexy."

"Your skirt. You're not sexy."

"Oh…"

Meanwhile, Feliciano was whispering to Ludwig. They stood in an aloof corner watching the events unfold. "Ve! I don't like this, Germany. Lying to girls."

"You lie to girls all the time."

"But why can't we tell them we are really countries. They seem like nice girls. Becoming well acquainted with us."

"Because, if we do, zey may view us differently."

"Like how?"

"I don't know. Sense the mood like Japan tells you to."

"I'm trying the best I can, Germany! I'm sensing! I'm sensing!" He squeezed his eyes shut and rocked on his heels.

Ludwig melted along the edges. "Good job, Italy. Good job."

Yao and Night were watching Francis and Arthur fight in annoyance.

"They seem stupid," Night said.

"They are stupid," Yao answered, "They _never _stop."

"I believe you."

"Good. You knows… Night… you kind of pretty."

"You _are _kind of pretty," Night corrected politely.

"Thank you," Yao said blindly.

"Er… okay. So what games do you play?"

"Games?" Yao brightened. He spewed lists of names of Chinese video game knock-offs. "What you play?"

Night smiled and flipped her bangs. "Everything."

Yao smiled back. 'Hey, Night…"

"Yeah?"

"I glad that got to meet you."

"I'm glad I got to meet you, too."

A few meters away, Hollyn was with Alfred. He was eating a hamburger… or two… or twenty with Hollyn.

"Hey… Hollyn!" Alfred said in between hamburgers, "You're pretty swagger, you know that right?"

Hollyn smiled. Which was painful to watch. Her recent surgery gave her mouth an ugly gaping hole and a chain screwed into the roof of her mouth, leading to her back teeth. So, her smile was a bloody mess. But, she smiled anyway and had the nerve to ignore it when Alfred cringed.

"You like the hamburger I baked you?" Alfred asked optimistically.

"You don't bake a…" the hopeful look on Alfred's face made her stop. "It's delicious."

"That's good. Are you and Hayden friends?"

"Um… yeah."

"Friends are good."

"They are."

"It seems like my big brother and your friend are becoming… close. That's good. Sometimes I get worried for him. Because he sort-of doesn't have any friends…"

"Hayden doesn't have any friends either."

"I thought you said you were…"

"I lied."

"Oh." Alfred resumed nom-noming on his hamburgers, and Hollyn looked down at her hands. Alfred was so cute. Everything about him. His hair. His clothes. His boyish attitude. Everything was perfect. She shivered.

"Are you and your brother close?" Hollyn asked innocently.

"Engl… Arthur and I? Hell no. He's such a freak."

"I have a sister. We're not that close either."

Alfred had ignored her. "I mean, he has, like, imaginary friends, you know? Plus, he's a crackpot and a neurotic…"

"My sister is crazy, too," Hollyn said loudly.

"Does your sister have a drinking problem?"

Hollyn hesitated, blinking. "She's only eleven years old…"

"Hell! Arthur was drinking at that age."

"How old _are _you?"

"Nineteen. What about you?"

Hollyn hesitated again. STRANGER DANGER! PEDOPHILE ALERT! "Sixteen…"

"That's less than nineteen, right? Wait… I can figure this out!" he counted on his fingers for about ten minutes until he realized he didn't have sixteen fingers. This annoyed him. So he started counting on both his and Hollyn's fingers. 16… 17… 18… 19.

"So," Alfred laughed when he figured it all out, "I'd technically be child abuse if I had sex with you!"

Silence. Hollyn cleared her throat. "Um… Alfred. That's something you don't say to people."

"So? I'm the hero! I don't give a shit!"

"Really? _You're _the hero? I wanna be a hero, too!"

"Okay… we can be co-heroes. You cool with that?"

"Sure!"

Alfred put his arm around Hollyn's shoulders. She felt warm and fuzzy all over. Grinned to herself. Then, Alfred looked at Hollyn very intently. Put his finger under her chin and leaned forward to kiss her.

It all was pretty disgusting. Hamburger flavored.

Nobody paid attention to them.

Francis and Arthur had stopped their quarreling and returned to their female counterparts. Nevelyn and her Francis were sitting together on one of the chairs, making out furiously.

(This is creepy. These characters are all based upon my real-life friends. I feel like I'm writing a porn or something with one of my friends. Damn.)

Arthur and Hayden were conversing over black tea and scones.

"I do enjoy English romanticism," Hayden said bringing the teacup to her lips.

"I do, too. Do you also like Shakespearian plays?"

"I love Shakespeare! And alternative rock?"

"Love it!" he held out another stale biscuit, "Would you like another scone?"

"Yes, please!" Hayden exclaimed eagerly. She downed the scone ravenously. "So... that Alfred character is your brother?"

"Adoptive brother. Want to hear the story?"

Hayden set her teacup down quickly. "Not really."

Arthur ignored her. Of course. "Well, it was time long ago…"

"Damn it." Hayden rolled her eyes politely and picked her teacup back up.

Arthur continued to narrate, "One day, my friend Finland was talking to…"

"You have a friend named Finland?"

Arthur looked alarmed. "Did I say Finland? No, no! His name is… Finley? Okay, Finley. He was talking with Francis and me, all depressed. Because he and Sweden… I mean… Susan found this toddler alone and unloved in the streets. Finley was afraid for the child. Francis and I came to see this kid, and I instantly knew he could be my baby brother. We had the same… erm… skin color? I'm not sure, but I knew he was mine. Francis thought the kid belonged to him. We had this contest, and, in the end, I was the one with the baby brother."

Hayden nodded gently. Then, something clicked inside her head. "Wait! If he was a toddler at the time… wouldn't you have been… like six or seven at the time?'

Arthur grew alarmed again. His eyes widened. "Eh?" he squeaked. "Did I say toddler? He was a preteenager…"

"Really?" she asked.

Arthur nodded in reply.

"I believe you."

"That's good… um…" he glimpsed at his brother as he nauseatingly made out with Hollyn, "… would you mind if I kissed you?" he asked.

"Why the hell are you asking me?" Hayden demanded, slamming her teacup onto the table.

Arthur looked up at her excitedly. "So that's a yes?"

"Hell no!" Hayden retorted angrily, "You're just some twenty-something stranger. For Christ's sake, I'm only sixteen years old… and you're a sick freak if you think that…"

He took her violently by the face and kissed her the way Francis taught him. Honestly. He learned to French kiss while sitting with Francis in his bedroom as a teenager. Funny story. Remind me to tell it to you later.

All of Hayden's disgust melted away. A strange feeling replaced it: joy. It filled her nonexistent soul. The joy made Hayden want to gag. But she sucked it up.

At that exact moment. Miles away, in a beautiful town called Summerville. No joke. Summer-ville. What a gay name for a town. Well, in Summerville, a teenaged boy Italiano sat up in his bed. It was around midnight, and he had fallen asleep a while ago. But, suddenly, he had the feeling something terrible was happening.

He sat there awkwardly for about an hour, without blinking, gawking at the darkness.

If you couldn't tell, this dude is Roberto di Boney. The same Roberto di Boney I told you about a chapter or two ago. Coincidence? What do YOU think, stupid?

After his gawking session, he shuffled downstairs to find something to eat, because that's what all dudes do at night when they wake up in their sleep.

To his surprise, the kitchen lights were all on. Sitting at the kitchen table was his mother, talking desperately on the telephone.

"… I'm so sorry, Ms. Kirkland …"

Kirkland? Roberto's mind switched to Hayden. She was a Ms. anyway, right? Why was his mother on the phone with Hayden?

He quickly ducked into a conveniently open hallway closet before his mother could see him. Silently, he listened to her telephone conversation.

"So you say Hayden didn't come home yesterday or today? What could have happened you think?"

Oh. Hayden's mother was also Ms. Kirkland. Roberto considered this. Wait! What happened to Hayden? She didn't come home.

"Did you call her friend's parents? … Their children are missing as well… I'm so sorry… What would make you think Hayden could be here at my house?... Roberto?... Sure, but he's only her friend… My son would NEVER do that with your daughter!"

Roberto smiled to himself. Yes, he would.

"Well, I'm so sorry to hear that about your daughter. Have you called the police yet?... No? It's been a whole day and a half... Well, that's kind of stupid, isn't it?... I'm sorry. That _was _mean… Well, I'm going to go to bed now. Please don't call my house late at night again."

She hung up and turned off the lights, retreating to her bedroom.

Roberto stood in the closet a while longer, thinking. Where could Hayden be? Perhaps she committed suicide. She seemed like the type. But her friends are gone to… maybe they all ran away?

Suddenly, he remembered. The other day at school, they were bubbling over going to some random abandoned mansion. He even where they said the mansion was. He was proud of himself for remembering so much. Very convenient for this plot and this plot's author.

They were all probably in trouble.

He came out of the closet and escaped to his bedroom and whipped out his

Cell phone and sent a text to two of his friends: Wonho and Konstantin. OMG! Hay n frnds r missin. I no wh they r. Meet me my house 2morrow morn.

What was he planning? Some pathetic hero work that will most definitely end with him hurt or dead and stuff. But still! This would be his chance to get Hayden to notice him. He was overwhelmed with excitement over his demonstration.

But he fell asleep anyway, dreaming of scones and plaid skirts.

What a freak.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6- Konstantin Eats Roberto's Pasta

Hayden woke up in Arthur's bed. No, sick freak, I mean, he's like eight years older than she is. No, the night before, Arthur offered his bed and slept on the floor. After seeing him do this, Alfred offered his bed to Hollyn, and China offered his bed to Night. Francis and Nevelyn did share a bed. But nothing weird happened. I mean, she just met him, and, while she is a slut, she isn't an uber-slut. Yet. Ivan didn't offer Stevie his bed at all, and she had to also sleep on the floor.

Well, Hayden woke up in Arthur's bed and smiled to herself. Rolled around for a tiny bit, and then sighed loudly.

"Are you up, Hayden?" Arthur asked from the floor. He had woken up an hour before but hadn't gotten up yet if that makes any sense.

"Are _you_?" Hayden asked with a perverted tone.

Arthur chuckled. "It happens to men in the morning," he muttered awkwardly.

Hayden sat up and quickly ran to the convenient bathroom across the room. On her way, she stole Nevelyn's drugstore bag.

In the bathroom, she managed to take a cold shower. However, when she got out of the shower, wrapped in one of the Egyptian cotton towels Nevelyn kept in her bag, something made her stop.

_Congratulations. Congratulations. _

She looked around. A hissing voice in her ear made her cringe. She attempted to interpret what the voice was saying.

_Congratulations. Congratulations. _

Hayden put her hands over her ears, making her towel fall to the floor. Yeah. She was naked.

_Congratulations. _

"Shut up!" Hayden demanded quietly. Quietly enough to not worry the people sleeping on the other side of the door.

The voice only got louder. Hissing. It made her shiver.

"Shut up!" she commanded a bit louder.

_Congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. _

"SHUT UP!" she screamed and slammed her fist into the mirror. It didn't shatter. Hayden growled in aggravation and sent her fist back into the mirror. It still didn't shatter. Them mirrors are shatter-proof.

_Congratulations. _

Hayden screamed in rage and flung open the bathroom door. Swinging herself back into the fortress room thing. Yeah. She was naked.

Everyone except Hollyn, Alfred, and Nevelyn, was up and either in the kitchen preparing breakfast or gathered around the table. However, when a naked, just-showered, screaming girl threw herself into the room, everyone had to stop.

She curled into a little naked ball in front of the bathroom door and continued to scream, "STUPID VOICE! SHUT UP! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! STUPID! STUPID!" In addition, the voice had disappeared. In other words, she was screaming over nothing.

"Mamma mia!" Feliciano cried, hiding behind a blushing Ludwig, "Hayden is naked. I'm a virgin. Don't scar me!"

Ludwig was used to naked women and, in all honesty, Hayden really wasn't much to look at.

Francis turned around in disgust. "How dare such an ugly feeb get naked before me!"

But, Arthur completely ignored the fact she was naked and wet (I know that sounds weird) and approached her. Kneeled down. "Hayden? Are you alright?"

"STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"

"Did something happen?"

Hayden hesitated in silence. No more voices. No more congratulations. She looked up at Arthur and smiled. "I'm fine."

"You were screaming."

"It's just…"

"And you're in the nude."

Hayden looked down at her naked body. "HOLY CRAPSKI! I'M NAKED!" she darted back into the bathroom and cried. How stupid of her! Letting Arthur see her naked. Now she looks like a whore or something. Now she looks like Nevelyn.

Knock, knock on the door.

"What?" Hayden cried.

"Are you almost through in there?" Arthur asked from behind the door.

"Why?"

"I suddenly have the urge to… uh… take a shower."

"Oh," Hayden said blindly, "Alright. I'll finish up." She quickly redressed and dried her hair. Applied a bit of makeup and left the bathroom. Arthur was leaning against the wall next to the door.

"That was three whole bloody minutes."

"I'm sorry. Was that too long?"

"Too long? I don't need to take a shower anymore." He walked over to the kitchen with Hayden following him. "I made scones for breakfast. Are you hungry?"

"Do you make good scones?"

Everyone in the room looked up at turned in unison to look at Hayden.

"My scones are delicious!" Arthur cheered. Setting a plate of the burnt, just-baked-yet-somehow-already-stale, rock-like scones on the table.

"Uh… Hayden!" Francis shouted, "I made crepes for you and your friends! You like my crepes, right, Arthur?"

"Wait… what? You made crepes, too. Oh well. I suppose you can give Hayden your crepes. There _are _more of your crepes than my scones. Alright fine."

"Mon dieu! That was close. Thank you." He led to Hayden to the dining table and set a plate of crepes before her.

Everyone except the still sleeping Hollyn, Alfred, and Nevelyn sat around her at the table and ate all her crepes.

(Seriously, y'all, crepes are yummy)

After breakfast and once everyone was awake and impatient, Ludwig suggested they leave their happy home to investigate.

"Perhaps we'll find a key or something," Ludwig said rubbing his chin mysteriously.

"That's highly illogical," Hayden said angrily. She was happy here.

"Come on, Denny!" Hollyn squealed, "It'll be fun investigating the house and stuff."

"But, Hollyn think logically if we… did you just call me Denny?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"How… who… what?"

"Night told me to call you that from now on. She said you like it."

"Well! I do not…"

Arthur came over to Hayden and ran his fingers through her tangled hair. "Denny? Hm… that sounds pretty."

Hayden smiled at Hollyn. "On that note, call me Denny."

Night was watching all this unfold silently and jealously. _What does that punk Arthur have that I don't? _she was thinking, _Now that Hayden met that asshole the story has been almost completely been about her and him. What happened to me? Hayden's supposed to be obsessed with me. _Then she took a table knife off the table and stabbed herself in the hand. Nobody noticed.

Except Stevie. Who this whole time was talking about her ticklish parts and her favorite smells to a seemingly interested Ivan. "Night? What's wrong? There's a knife sticking out of your hand."

Night began to cry. "Nothing's wrong…" She put her face on the table.

Nevelyn was sitting in Francis's lap occasionally squealing and laughing. She was completely oblivious to everything going on. The fact that behind that door was an evil monster ready to kill them and do weird things to their dead bodies. All she could think about was Francis's hideous stubble and terrible breath. That's hot.

Francis was uncomfortable. He hadn't been pleasured by a female since a long time ago. It's usually Arthur or little boys on his lap. Not sexy Native-American teenage girls.

"All those in favor of going out and investigating the mansion further say 'ja'!" Ludwig called over the crowd of people sitting around the table.

Naturally no-one was listening. Continued their petty conversations about ticklish parts and nicknames and their petty thoughts about suicide and little boys.

Ludwig's little anger meter soared. No-one was listening. They were all being stupid. They didn't care about their seriousness of the situation. Even Feliciano who seemed concerned the whole time was trying to… wait, what the hell is he doing to that poor crepe?!

Finally, after twenty minutes of trying to shut everyone up, Ludwig stood up abruptly and walked out of the fortress.

For some reason, that shut everyone up.

"GERMA… I mean, LUDWIG!" Feliciano screamed running after him.

"West! Vhere the hell are you going?" Gilbert also screamed while… also running after him.

Kiku was the next to leave, quietly calling, "Prease, wait, Rudwig and Fericiano. Prease! I'm getting ord. My back isn't what it used to be."

"Kiku! Come back!" Yao ran after him, dragging a protesting Night behind him.

"Damn it," Arthur said, "I guess we have to go now." And the rest did hesitantly.

They all gathered in the main hallway in a tiny huddle. "Now!" Ludwig commanded, "I will take Kiku, Feliciano, and my brother to the fourth floor to investigate. Alfred! You are in charge of… er… Hollie… and Hayley… and Arthur, Francis, and Evelyn. You go to the first floor. Ivan, Stephanie, Yao, and Blythe will investigate this floor, the second."

"What about me…?" Matthew asked. He was in the fringe of the group looking lonely and transparent. (Honestly, I completely forgot Canada was there also.)

"ALFRED WILL NOT BE BLOODY IN CHARGE OF ME!" Arthur exploded.

"How did you get _Blythe _from my name anyway?" Night asked testily, "Blythe is a stupid name." (no offense if your name is Blythe)

"I don't care," Ludwig grumbled, "That's just go."

"All these damn doors are locked," Night retorted, "How will we _investigate?" _

"Rocked?" Kiku said, slightly shocked, "We find many keys and unrocked armost arr of the doors. What are you tarking about?"

"Unrocked? I mean, unlocked?" Night replied softly, just as shocked. She went to a nearby door she was positive was locked earlier. Of course, it was unlocked. "What the hell! It's open!"

"I tord you," Kiku muttered as Night returned.

"Now let's GO!" Ludwig exclaimed.

"What about me?" Matthew asked again, a bit louder.

"Go with Yao and Blythe! I don't give a shit!" Ludwig snapped, "JUST GO!" He took Feliciano by the arm and slogged away. Kiku and Gilbert followed behind awkwardly.

"Alright fine!" Night snapped, and her group headed for the newly opened door, "I hope there's something fucking good in here."

"Is our group ready?" Arthur asked.

"Dude!" Alfred rebelled, "I'm the hero of this group! I ask the questions in this group. Now! Are we ready?"

"Yes…" Francis replied playfully pushing Nevelyn around. "… We are very ready."

"Alright, dudes! Let's vamos!" He pull his arm around Hollyn and led her to the downstairs stairway with a huge, cocky grin. Nevelyn jumped onto Francis's back, and they followed, he carrying her.

Arthur and Hayden hesitated. She looked up at him, blushing. He smiled warmly and held out his hand. She took it. Fingers enlaced. Electric fingertips shot sparks up Hayden's arm. He led her behind Francis.

Hayden forgot everything. That stupid monster. Her dysfunctional family (more about that later XD). Her three restraining orders. Her one pending restraining order. Her inability to fit into society. Roberto.

But Roberto was not forgetting her.

He was sitting, cross-legged in front of his house's front door, waiting for his friends to come. He was there for the last three hours, wondering where they were. Yeah, he forgot to check his phone. And when he did:

from Konstantin: wut dafuq r u talkin bout? I guess ill b ur house 10.

from Wonho: I am not understanding. I will come to house at eleven in morning.

Roberto checked his phone at nine-thirty. "Well that was a stupid waste of three hours," Roberto said annoyed. He escaped to the kitchen and ate a cannoli. Then he prepared two more cannoli for his friends.

By the time his friends arrived said cannoli were gone. In Roberto's tummy.

Konstantin Khrushchev. He's Russian. More Russian than Ivan himself. But he was born in Wisconsin. His parents were both from "the factory", but he never clarified exactly what that meant. He was also fat. Seriously, he was practically obese. Light brown hair. Glasses. Face fat. Pretty handsome. But, still. He's SO fat. He knew Hayden well and tolerated her "special" behavior. Perhaps he could relate to her. He also was a bit neurotic. But then, all Russians can be. He knew her friends less. He was usually harsh but playful towards them.

"Hey…" he said once Roberto let him into his house, "What's this whole deal with Hayden?"

"Hayden is missing! Her friends, too!"

"What makes you think that? Seriously, do you have any food for me?"

"ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELF? Hayden is missing! Her mother called my mother last night, and she hadn't seen her or her friends for two whole days! Forty-eight hours! Two thousand-eight-hundred-eighty minutes! One-hundred-seventy-two-thousand-eight-hundred seconds!"

"Good for you… you can do long multiplication in your head. Don't rub it in. Now give me some fucking food." Roberto tentatively led Konstantin to the kitchen and watched in disbelief as Konstantin ate all the pasta and pasta sauce in his house.

"So…" Konstantin mumbled while he ate, "What's this deal with Hayden again?"

"She and her friends all went to this abandoned mansion the other day, and they never came back! It's our duty and responsibility to make sure she isn't raped and dead in some alleyway in California or something!"

"Roberto! What the hell are you talking about? Why should care? You're the one who likes her so badly. Do it yourself!"

"You're her friend, right?" Roberto snapped.

"Well, yeah…" Konstantin said sheepishly.

"Then, you have to help! Anyway, look at me. I'm as brawny as MY pasta that YOU ate! But, you can lift a ton, right?"

Konstantin began to laugh heartily. "Roberto… seriously. This is all fat. Not muscle."

"STILL! Help me!"

"Just you and me? This is sort of gay, don't you think?"

"No. Wonho is coming to help find Hayden 'n' Friends, too."

"A ho? Hey, never mind!"

"_Won_ho. He's the Korean exchange student from my chemistry class."

"Why did you ask him? Does _he _know Hayden?"

Roberto blushed. Very manly, Roberto. "Well, no. But, I know Hayden has an obsession with him. He has an accent."

"You're probably right. Where is he?"

"He's coming in an hour."

One hour later. Wonho Lee made his debut. Short. Choppy black hair and two slits for eyes. Korean accent. Hayden once confessed to Roberto that she thought he looked like an anime character. (except for the eyes, of course.)

"Why am I here?" was the first thing he said upon arriving.

After Roberto explained the situation to him, they filed in Roberto's inherited Saab. He sped to the mansion. And he's Italian. So speeding for him… is like Nascar for Americans or something.

They arrived at the mansion (which was normally three-hours away) in twenty minutes.

"Honestly, Roberto!" Wonho said upon their arrival, "You drive much too fast."

Then he passed out in the passenger's seat.

Roberto exited the car and playfully tossed the keys in the air. He was ready to rescue his fair maiden—decked out in his red, black, and green soccer jacket with _Italia _printed across the front … and those shoes he knew Hayden loved so much. Now I shall describe to you the ugliest pair of shoes conceivable.

So, dear reader, imagine a pair of gray Converse high-tops. Now, imagine a pair of gray tennis shoes. Mash 'em up. The general format of a tennis shoe but with the shoelace style, soles, and edging of a pair of Converse. Aren't they just ugly?

Roberto wore these shoes once, knowing they were rather ugly. But that day, Hayden set time aside to comment on them: "Damn, Roberto, those shoes are… revolting!" Then she spat upon them and strutted away in her black, leather combat boots.

He was pleased that he found something that attracted her so much. So, he wore them every time he could.

In his pocket, he put his razor. It was a bit of a family heirloom as disgusting as that sounds. One of those old fashioned razors with just a blade that flips out like a pocket knife. Numerous times he had cut himself with it (NOTE: Roberto is NOT suicidal He ACCIDENTLY cuts himself in the face when he tries to shave his bare face). It was a perfect weapon to fight against… whatever he needed to fight against.

Konstantin rolled out of the car. Dressed in a red polo shirt, khaki shorts, and boat shoes. Stumbled a bit, then stood up hesitantly. "So this is your little mansion? Huh, Roberto?"

Roberto leaned against his Saab sexily; perhaps Hayden was watching. "Yeah…" he said, "Now, tell me, Konstantin, do I look handsome?" He flipped his well-oiled hair.

Konstantin: "What a question! I don't know, man!"

Wonho came out of the car, squinty eyes red and face white. "I think you look attractive Roberto," he joked, chuckling to himself.

"Now come on, let's go," Konstantin said lumbering towards the house, "Before I get hungry."

Roberto chased after him, trying hard to look as gorgeous as possible.

But Wonho lingered behind. "This house… I feel like I've seen it before…" he muttered to himself quietly. But, of course, he ignored these feelings and followed his friends.

Roberto and Konstantin approached the front door. They tried to open it.

"Mamma mia!" Roberto cried when it wouldn't.

"Let me at it," Konstantin said roughly. He ran squarely into the door. Now, his excess weight should have knocked that door down easily. But it didn't.

"What's going on?" Wonho asked. He slipped his small Asian hands into his black sweatshirt pockets. Wonho looked cool and Asian.

"This door won't open!" Roberto whined as he looked longingly through the dusty, barred window by the door, "Now how are we…"

"Are you sure this is the correct house?"

"Yeah! I'm positive." He flattened his face against the window the best he could. "I mean! Look! I can even see their bags in there. In that little niche near the door. They have to be here!"

"Maybe there's a door towards the back," Wonho suggested. He meandered around the side of the house. "The gardens are very nice around this house. It seems almost familiar."

Konstantin and Roberto followed with slightly more enthusiasm.

"What is this door?" Hollyn asked. They were crowded around a once-locked door on the first floor. It was around the corner from the bathroom and pretty close to the front door.

America chuckled. "That, Hollyn, is the basement."

"Basement?" Nevelyn asked, alarmed, "As in dust and dirt and… ew!... bugs?"

"It's surprisingly not that dirty down there," Arthur answered standoffishly.

Everyone but he began to laugh. Arthur couldn't figure out why.

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Nevelyn cried out delightedly.

"What?" Arthur asked, befuddled.

"Nothing!" Nevelyn said ;3ing at him, "Can we go down there?"

"Well… the last time… well, I guess there's no harm going down now, right?" Arthur opened the door and held it open for Hayden, then slammed it shut just before Francis could enter. "Bahaha, cheese-eater!" Arthur taunted.

Once Francis managed to get through the door and beat the crap out of Arthur, they began to venture through the basement.

The basement of this stupid house is complicated. I'm not sure what YOUR basement is like or if you even have a basement. Well, I don't. BUT I imagine it's not as complex of a system as this stupid basement. What can you expect though, right?

Arthur kept his hand clasped around Hayden's as he led the whole group through a multifaceted labyrinth of concrete walls and floors and empty rooms and random tables and chairs and other crap. The whole place was cold and damp. And moldy. So, of course, Nevelyn's allergies began to act up.

"Er… Francis? Baby?" Nevelyn complained. She was still riding on his back.

"Oui?"

"I need to… I need to stop. My allergies are…"

Massive sighs resounded from Hollyn and Hayden. Nevelyn's allergies were back.

Francis set her down on the ground. They were in one of the rooms of the basement, conveniently storing a few long blue sofas and a meeting table. Nevelyn crawled onto one of the sofas and set her hand on her forehead.

"Are you alright, Nevey?" Francis asked, kneeling down beside her, taking her hand in both of his.

"I'm dying" was her weak answer.

Francis le gasped. "Le gasp!" He took her hand to his lips and began to lick them. "I won't let you die. I won't let you die. What's wrong with you anyway?"

"The mold… my allergies… I feel like… my heart… it's… weaker…"

"Oh my God, y'all!" Alfred exclaimed. He was surprisingly quiet up until now. But, now he was freaking out. "Dude! I can't let this chick die! What kind of a hero would I be, damn it?! We have to do something! Do something, Arthur dude!"

"Calm down, Alfy," Arthur replied steadily, "I know… um…" he glanced at Hayden. She didn't at all seem anxious about Nevelyn's dying. Hell, she's seen Nevelyn "die" almost every day.

Nevelyn's a major drama queen.

Actually, scientifically, Nevelyn was merely suffering from a spell of hysteria brought on by an uproar of sexual emotion brought on by Francis brought on by his total schmexiness. She wasn't going to die. Give birth to an emotional baby? Sure. Die? Nope.

Nevelyn's breathing quickened. Shallow. Sporadic breaths. "Tell… my… mother… she's… a… horrible… cook…" Then, she pretended to die. Which is difficult to do, trust me. But, Francis ate this crap up. In other words, he believed it all.

"Nevelyn?" Francis exclaimed. Then, he jumped to his feet and grabbed Arthur violently by the collar, "Angleterre! Arthur! You have to do something! Use your bullshit magic! I don't care! Save Nevelyn's life!" He burst into tears and crumbled to the floor.

"Magic?" Hayden asked, perplexed.

Arthur sighed, irritated. "One moment please, dear." He let go of Hayden's hand and stepped away from the others. Pulled a marker from his coat pocket and drew a circle on the floor. (Draw a circle. It's the Earth… sorry couldn't help it…) Then, he sketched out a large pentagram in the circle with other writings around it in old Celtic languages.

"What a stupid thing to do…" Hayden muttered, "This is destruction of property."

"SHUSH!" Alfred cried mockingly, "Artie is doing is _magic!_"

"Oh, shut up!" Arthur retorted, pulling a black cape around him. He took a step back from the circle and raised his hand above it, keeping his eyes down.

"_Santra ba~dra winza~na~ wonpa~to~ rana intrakantera. _

_Santra ba~dra winza~na~ wonpa~to~rana intrakantera… _

_Look...! For the sake of my terrible revenge, I'll cast a curse with all my power! _

_I summon thee from the distant earth! Come forth!"_

As he recited the spell, the circle began to glow bright green. Everyone held his breath. Something bad and evil was about to happen.

Yeah. Nothing happened.

The lights all dimmed down, and Arthur looked at it disappointedly. "Oh… well…"

"What was supposed to happen?" Hollyn squealed. She was mesmerized by the magic.

"Nevelyn was supposed to…"

"I was supposed to what?" Everyone turned to see Nevelyn sitting upright on sofa with a huge grin.

"I REVIVED HER!" Arthur exclaimed.

"What?" Nevelyn replied, panicking, "I… I… I wasn't really dead! I was joking around."

"Oh sure" Arthur retorted, "Don't acknowledge me. You wouldn't be the first!" He gave Alfred a death glare, took Hayden's hand, and marched away.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7- The Story of Hayden's Sore Tongue

"I told you we'd find a way into the house!" Roberto exclaimed eagerly.

"We never doubted you," Wonho said quietly, approaching Roberto's magical entrance. It was basically a hole at the base of the house's back wall, just large enough to let Konstantin through. Wonho looked intensely into the hole with his Asian laser eyes. It seemed to lead into the house's basement with a ladder hanging off the edge. "What a terrible idea… a hole like this leading into the house. Imagine all the animals that can get in. Terrible." He looked at his… well, he had better friends than them. "Who wants to go in first? There seems to be a ladder we can climb."

"I called it first!" Roberto cried. He crept into the hole, grasping tightly at the sides of the ladder. "I wish Hayden could see how heroic I am." He began to climb downwards bravely. "See how cool I am?" he called back up to Wonho and Konstantin.

Then, well, let's just say the ladder ended there. The legit end had previously been burnt off. And, he fell on his ass about ten feet from the bottom.

Wonho and Konstantin delighted in this. "You're so cool, Roberto!" Konstantin yelled down at him, laughing.

"I wish to be like you one day, Roberto!" Wonho added.

So, then Konstantin and Wonho both climbed down with enough grace to land on their feet. Wait, can Konstantin even have grace?

They all gathered to evaluate their new situation. The biggest problem with their situation was that they just dove headfirst into a stupid, exit-less mansion with a bloodthirsty monster trapped inside, but they didn't know that yet, did they? All they knew was that they were standing in a medieval-looking basement lit only with torches mounted onto the walls.

"Where are we? Russia?" Konstantin muttered, annoyed by the primitiveness of their new setting.

"I'm not sure," Roberto said innocently, "But we _have _to find Hayden and… well… I guess her friends are important, too." He dashed down the stone corridor, crying out Hayden's name.

Konstantin and Wonho hung back. Looked at each other. "Why are we here?" Wonho asked. Konstantin shook his head in disbelief, but he couldn't really turn his neck, much less shake his head. It came out more like an awkward twitch.

Suddenly, they heard a scream. Roberto's manly scream just at the end of that corridor. "HOLY CANNOLI! HELP ME!"

Wonho's head jerked forward in realization. "I knew it." He ran to the other end of the corridor with his epic ninja moves.

"Knew what?" Konstantin called, disorderedly. Then, he began to lumber after him.

Arthur was still leading Hayden and the rest of his group through the basement's labyrinth when Roberto et al. entered the house. Honestly though, who the hell designed this stupid place?

Hayden was in shock from witnessing so much magic. "So… so… illogical…"

"What are we looking for anyway?" Nevelyn whined from Francis's back. She was tired from her dying charade. If anyone deserved to whine, it would be Francis. For Christ's sake, he's been carrying her the entire time.

"A key or something," Arthur said, "But it's so illogical, because we've been here so many times. We would have seen it by now if there even were one."

"That's so stupid," Hayden mumbled.

"Bring it up with that _baka _Ludwig," Arthur replied.

"I don't know what y'all are talking about!" Alfred exclaimed happily, "This is so much fun! It's like we're heroes or something looking for a clue or something. But that's stupid, because I'M the only hero here!"

"Oh, shut up!" was Arthur's reply.

"You complain that I don't talk to you enough," Alfred droned, "It's all because you keep telling me to shut up. You're such a liar, Ar…"

"HOLY CANNOLI! HELP ME!" Everyone froze.

"Oh my goodness!" Hollyn exclaimed, "That sounds like…"

"Feliciano?" Francis offered.

Hollyn shook her head. "No. Not Feliciano…" She glanced nervously at Hayden, who was standing there with eyes wide in terror.

"Roberto," Hayden whispered. And she took off running.

"HAYDEN!" Arthur cried out, sprinting after her.

"ROBERTO? ROBERTO? ROBERTO? DAMN IT! WHERE ARE YOU?"

Francis, Nevelyn, Alfred, and Hollyn stood there, blinking behind them.

"Damn it," Francis muttered, "Now we have to run, don't we?"

"Come on, dude. We have to follow them," Alfred mumbled with no enthusiasm whatsoever. (that's unlike him) "That's what a hero would do."

Nevelyn climbed off Francis's back, and they all trudged after Arthur and Hayden.

They found them trembling before the monster. Oh, and Roberto, Wonho, and Konstantin were there, too.

"Roberto? Konstantin? Asian dude? What are they doing here?" Hollyn exclaimed.

"I don't know, but this will not help our situation," Hayden cried.

The monster attacked Roberto. Grabbed him around his ab-less stomach and flung him against the stone wall.

"Mamma mia!" He rested there, collapsed on the floor, bleeding heavily from the cranium. Dying slowly from embarrassment.

"That's Roberto, you asshole!" Hayden cried, pulling out _Fifty Shades of Grey _and hitting the monster's legs pettily, "If you want to attack someone, attack me!"

Of course, the monster listened to her. Picked her up and hit her against the wall twice before throwing her down the corridor.

"Denny!" Arthur shouted. He raised his arm and chanted. Nothing happened. "Fuck! I wasted what little magic I had on that bitch!" He sent a death glare this time at Nevelyn.

"I didn't do nothing!" Nevelyn protested, hands on her curvy hips. You tell him, sista!

"I've got this! I've got the greatest attack skill! I'm the hero!" Alfred exclaimed. He looked down at his sexy utility belt to decide which firearm he should use. He decided upon his 1942 Smith & Wesson handgun and began shooting at the monster.

Surprisingly, this did something.

The monster began to bleed. Wait, can monsters bleed? Whatever.

Francis helped in the battle. But, well, saying this nicely, he wasn't much of a fighter. More of a lover, I suppose.

Even Hollyn and Nevelyn helped with their Febreze can and pepper spray. But, the monster seemed more powerful than before. He didn't hesitate to attack anyone.

Wonho and Konstantin were kneeling around the intensely wounded Roberto. "What's wrong, Roberto?" Wonho asked solemnly, "Where does it hurt?"

What a stupid question, right? "Everywhere, Asian," Roberto mumbled back.

"You're bleeding," Konstantin informed him.

"No duh. Where's Hayden? How's she? Is she alive?"

"She's lying on the ground over there," Konstantin enlightened him, "But don't worry. There's a hot guy with an accent assisting her."

"WHAT?!" Roberto tried to sit up in objection, but they kept him recumbent.

"Not now, Roberto," Wonho said, "Please wait."

"But… but… okay."

Meanwhile, Arthur was leaning over Hayden, lying to her softly. "It'll be fine, Denny. I'm sure the others can kill that monster."

"B… but… Roberto…"

Arthur frowned. "Who's Roberto?"

"The… the… guy with the face…"

"That doesn't help me, Hayden," Arthur sighed.

"He's… probably… eating pasta."

Arthur turned to look at the three mystery boys a few meters away. Sure enough, the boy bleeding everywhere was eating a nice plate of fettuccini. He looked back at Hayden. "Found him."

"How is he?"

"He looks pretty content."

"Really?" she exclaimed happily.

"He's also bleedly profoundly."

"WHAT?!" Hayden tried to sit up, but Arthur wouldn't let her.

"Please, baby, rest." He leaned closer to her and smiled. "I won't let anything bad happen to you… ever."

Hayden could not object to this. She smiled back. "I won't let anything bad happen to you either. But, I'm rather weak… so…"

"You seem pretty strong to me." He traced her chin with his little finger.

"Don't lie. I know I'm weak. I _am _anemic."

This confused Arthur. "What?"

"Anemia. It's a disorder in which there are a reduced number or volume of erythrocytes in hemoglobin in the blood. There are over one hundred different types including aplastic anemia, pernicious anemia, and sickle-cell anemia. These different types are all distinguished by cause; erythrocyte size, shape, and hemoglobin content; and other symptoms. An anemic patient is usually noticeably pale. Treatments involve a change in diet, toxin removal, drugs, surgery, or transfusion."

"What?" Arthur repeated, even more confused.

"For example," Hayden continued, "I have iron-deficiency anemia, which is the most common type of anemia. It may develop in times of extraordinary iron loss or when dietary iron consumption of the patient is low. Symptoms are low energy level and perhaps paleness, shortness of breath, sore tongue, and-or dry skin. In advanced cases, red blood cells are small, pale, and low in hemoglobin with iron levels largely reduced. My hematologist says it comes from my lack of red meat, which contains a large amount of iron and other minerals."

Arthur paused just long enough for him to blink three times. "All I got from that was that you have a sore tongue."

Hayden rolled her eyes playfully. "It's not always sore. As long as I keep up my iron supplements."

"You're so smart, Hayden." Then he leaned closer and gave her a prolonged kiss, ignoring the gory slash across her forehead and bleeding nose. Let's just say it was quite a sanguineous osculation.

Meanwhile!

"What's Hayden doing now?" Roberto asked his friends, setting his pasta aside.

"You're obsessed with this girl," Wonho said bluntly.

"What is she doing?" Roberto repeated angrily.

Konstantin looked over at her and began snickering. "Dude! She's making out with some guy."

"WHAT?!" Roberto sat up, pushing his laughing friends aside.

Sure enough. There she was. Lying weakly on the ground with the guy's tongue in her mouth. She seemed to be enjoying it.

"After everything I did for her," he muttered angrily, "I went out searching for her. I fell ten feet onto a stone floor for her. I was attacked by whatever-that-thing-is for her. But she's already happy here with that man, being a total…" he lowered his voice, "…whore…" he raised his voice again, "I swear, he's like twenty-five. _I, _however, am the same age she is! The same frickin' age! What a pedophile! I did so much… _so much… _for her."

"Don't think like that," Konstantin chuckled, amused, "Perhaps he's her cousin or something."

Awkward pause. Roberto looked at Konstantin and sneered. "Dude. Really? That's sick."

"I'm just keeping an open mind."

Roberto stumbled to his feet, tripped, broke his nose, and crawled to Hayden, who was literally only fifteen feet away.

As he slinked towards her, he was thinking of everything he could tell her. Eight minutes later, when he finally got to her, he concluded with "Hayden Kirkland! Just what do you think you are doing with that man? No! I don't want to hear it! Whatever was between us before is now gone. Because I know that you are too spontaneous and slutty to be _my _girlfriend. You should be ashamed of yourself!" Then, he would crawl back to his hidey-hole and never speak to her again.

But, when he approached her in reality, he simply whimpered, "You're alive, Hayden."

Arthur stepped in back in surprise. "Uh!"

Hayden looked at him indignantly. "What are you doing here, _baka_?"

Roberto was taken aback. "W… what am I doing where?"

Hayden propped herself up her elbows. "In this house. Why are you here?"

"W… why am _I _here? What about you and your… your…" he looked at Arthur. (Oh, by the way, while this was going on Alfred was kicking the monster's ass. Francis, Nevelyn, and Hollyn were just cowering behind him. So, yeah. Don't worry about them.)

"I'm Arthur. Pleased to make your acquaintance." He extended his hand towards Roberto with a sarcastic smirk.

Roberto ignored him. "I found out you were missing and… I knew you would be here, so I came here."

"What about Konstantin and… you actually brought Wonho?"

"They… they were my… moral support?"

Hayden gave him a face that asked bluntly what-the-fuck-are-you-talking-about? "What the fuck are you talking about?" she asked bluntly. "Wait!" she cried, "That was a poorly constructed sentence. Hmm… About what the fuck are you talking?"

Roberto blinked. "Mmm… well, why did you befriend Dr. Who here?" He waved his hand disgracefully at Arthur.

But Arthur just grinned. "You watch Dr. Who also?"

Roberto shook his head in disbelief. "No… it's just," he took Hayden's hands, "Listen, Hayden. Why did you… how could you have… with this British... we've been friends for so long and..."

"It's not like I had a boyfriend," Hayden replied sharply.

"But this dude is ancient!"

"I beg your pardon!" Arthur sputtered, "I am only twenty-three years of age! That is NOT ancient!" He shook his finger at Francis who was still hiding behind Alfred. "Now, Francis! _He's _ancient!"

"Excusez-moi!" Francis shouted, marching bravely towards Arthur, "I am ze BIG BROTHER of Europe, so you can kiss my ass!"

"You _look_ like an arse!" was Arthur's reply. He stood and approached him. "What are you going to do about it, huh, monkey?"

"Oh!" Francis grabbed Arthur by the collar, "You are going to pay for that, scone-breath!"

"What kind of insult is 'scone-breath', you… you… floppy Frenchman?"

And they resumed to beat each other up, throwing taunts at each other and trying hard not to get too excited.

Roberto and Hayden watched, boredly.

After ten seconds, Hayden spoke up, "Am I the only one here who finds that really sexy?" Roberto gave her a look of disbelief. She laid back down. "Guess so."

Their fight ended when the monster disappeared, and Alfred celebrated by sending shots into the air. Everyone had to duck for cover.

"_AL_FRED!" Arthur exploded, dodging a bullet that ricocheted off the ceiling, "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SHOOTING INSIDE?"

"You ain't my mom, Artie dude," Alfred exclaimed triumphantly.

"I don't care if I'm not your mum, you still have to listen! You might shoot one of…" he dodged a bullet heading right towards his face, "NOW YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!"

An obnoxious laughing-fest was Alfred's only reply.

"Alfie…" Hollyn cried from a corner, "You… you might waste all your bullets. You never know how much ammunition you may need later…"

That made Alfred stop. "Good thinking, Hollyn dude. I mean, Hollyn dudette." He put his gun away. Everyone sighed in unison and mentally thanked Hollyn, who then mentally said 'you're welcome.' She snuck out of her corner and gave Alfie a sweet little hug.

"I killed that monster for _you_, Hollyn," Alfred said heroically, wrapping his arm around her waist playfully. He dug his face into her neck and kissed her there. "Just for you, baby."

"You didn't kill it, bloody fool!" Arthur exclaimed angrily, "You know that it just disappears after we fight it. And it always comes back, anyway."

"Dude! I totally killed it! I'm the hero, remember? Now we go back to Ludwig dude, right? Tell him we found these dudes…"

"Fine!" Arthur turned his back to him crossly and went back to a hurt Hayden. He helped her up onto her feet and wiped the blood off her face with his kerchief. "Are you feeling any better, Denny?"

"N…no. But I can survive. We have to go back to Ludwig."

Konstantin and Wonho joined Roberto, and they all turned to Arthur. "Does that mean us too?"

"I completely forgot to be courteous!" Hayden exclaimed, "I'm sorry. These are Konstantin Khrushchev and Wonho Lee. They are friends of… well, this is Roberto di Boney."

"Boney?"

Roberto turned to Arthur angrily. "Don't poke fun at my name."

"Poke?"

"Stop it!"

"Yes, you should come with us."

Nevelyn jumped back on Francis's back. And Arthur even let Hayden climb onto his own back. "That's more comfortable, right Denny?"

"Not really. But, it's fine."

And they all set off to find Ludwig and the others.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 8- Arthur Sets Fire to the Kitchen

While this was all going down, Night, Stevie, Ivan, Yao, and Matthew le Ghost were wandering around the second floor. Now, Night and Yao weren't very happy about investigating. It sounded like a stupid idea. Ivan and Stevie didn't really care… and Matthew… well, who cares about his opinions anyway?

They would simply enter a room, pretend to be interested and leave the room.

So, after a while, Night grew extraordinarily restless. "This is the stupidest house I've ever been in. I want to leave."

"You do not even know," Yao replied, "You no been here for as long."

"I don't care… I want to leave. I want good food and my PSP… damn it, I left that at home. I haven't played a video game for hours! I want to go home!" She kicked a door using all her mad soccer skillage.

Stevie floated up to her. "Don't be sad, Night. At least we're all here together."

"Stevie?"

"Huh?"

"Shut up."

"Okay." Stevie busied herself in the corner of a hallway, messing with the part of her hair. Ivan sat next to her and began to her her.

"Perhaps we should all just sit down and take a break," Matthew suggested.

"Did you hear something?" Night asked Yao.

"No. But I think we sit down and take break."

"That sounds like a plan." And she sat down with Yao and they conversed about video games. (I, the author, am not much of a gamer so I can't write a knowledgeable conversation about games. Forgive me. Just imagine a good game conversation.)

Matthew sat apart from the others, lonely. Well, he had that stuffed bear of his to keep him company, so he wasn't _that _lonely in retrospect.

"So," Ivan spoke up, "Do you have brothers and sisters, Stevie?"

"Me? Well, I have three brothers."

"Aw! I have three… um… close male friends. And two sisters."

"Sisters are good."

Ivan paused. "Not mine."

This made Stevie sad. She couldn't imagine why someone would dislike his sisters. She loved her brothers, everything they did, everything they wore, everything they said. Almost to the point of obsession. "Whatever could be wrong with your sisters?"

Ivan shrugged. "I suppose Katyusha isn't so bad. But… Natalia…" At the very sound of her name, the lights in the hallway grew dim, the air became colder, Yao and Night looked up perplexed. A purple aura formed around Ivan's body. "Some things Natalia does I cannot forgive. But I do not have the patience to acknowledge them."

You could just barely taste the terror. The fear. The tension. You could just barely hear the bloodcurdling scream that echoes into the open. The blade. The corpse. The blood. The quiet. The teenage girl whispering over the body into the silent darkness. _Marry me… Marry me… Marry me… _

"I like jelly beans," Stevie giggled.

The lights returned. The hallway warmed. Yao and Night continued to chatter. The purple aura disappeared. "I like jelly beans, too!" Ivan replied, "I love eating them so much."

Stevie gave him a huge smile. "Just eating them is for amateurs!" (inside joke)

"Did someone say 'eating'?" Night called out. She was hungry again.

"Jelly beans!" Ivan cheered.

"Ew." Night turned away to show her extreme hate for jellybeans. A food Night doesn't love? Oh my God we must document this moment!

"You know," Yao spoke to Night quietly, "I'm glad Ivan got a friend."

"A friend?"

"Stevie. If it weren't for her, he'd be bothering me right now. He's always been bothering me for so long."

"Oh, well…"

"I like jellybeans."

"Oh, shut up, Stevie!" Night called out, "You know what?" she stood up. "This is stupid. I'm going downstairs."

"Why?" Matthew questioned.

He was ignored. Wouldn't' be the first time.

Night continued, "You may ask 'why?' And _I _say, 'BECAUSE I WANT TO!'" She trudged towards the stairway going down.

Yao stood up and blocked her away like a short, yellow barricade. "Wait, Night! Ludwig told what to do and where stay. We must listen to him."

"Why should I?" Night exclaimed angrily.

"Because Ludwig told us!" Yao yelled back with matching fury.

Night gave him a smug look. "I thought you were badass. When did you start listening to Ludwig?"

This made Yao pause. "Well, I guess there no harm in to look downstairs."

"Finally!" Night ran downstairs with the others following.

She turned a corner downstairs and ran into those coming up from the basement. Literally. She knocked Arthur over, making Hayden, who was still on his back, plummet to the floor.

"Damn you, Night…" Hayden muttered as she fumbled onto her feet.

"Oh… sorry. Oh, by the way, your face is bleeding. What are y'all…" Then Night saw Roberto, Konstantin, and Wonho standing there. "Why the hell are _you_ here?"

"Nice to see you, too," Roberto said.

"You… and Hayden and Alfred and Hollyn. How come y'all are all beaten up?"

"Why do you think?" Hayden snapped.

"Did you run into that stupid-ass monster?"

"What do you think?"

"No need to be mean. I'm just concerned for you." Then, she rolled her eyes and punched Hayden in the face.

Arthur gasped and sank to the floor. "Blythe! How could you do that to Denny? She's already hurt, for Christ's sake!"

"My name is not fucking Blythe… wait, did you just call her Denny?"

"Yes, I did," he snapped, helping poor Hayden to her feet.

"Only _I'm _allowed to call Hayden Denny, you asshole!" she punched Arthur in the face.

"What's your problem?" Arthur cried angrily.

"_I _used to be Hayden's favorite person! Then you had to go around! I've barely had any part in the story know that you're here! I've only had… like… two sentences about me! You had to go around having an accent and all, and now Hayden won't even look at me!" She punched Arthur again.

"So that's why you've been acting strange!" Hayden said.

"I've been acting strange?"

"Not really. But still, I didn't know you felt that way about me!" Hayden gave Night a huge hug and put her face on her shoulder. "Don't worry, Night! I'll still love you!" Then, she gave her an awkward peck on the cheek.

"Ew!" Night squealed, pushing Hayden off her shoulder.

"I didn't _really _kiss you," Hayden said, "I just put my mouth on your face."

"That's what you would call a kiss, Hayden!"

"No…" Hayden protested, "This is what I would call a kiss." She grabbed Arthur by the face and stuck her sore tongue in his mouth.

Uncomfortable pause as everyone watched this make-out session.

Even Arthur felt uncomfortable. He just saw her kiss Night, anyway.

But Roberto felt the most uncomfortable. Actually, he felt like taking out his razor and slitting his wrists. However, he refrained from doing that. He didn't want the blade to get dirty. He just turned towards a wall and hit his head against it repeatedly.

Stevie didn't felt really uncomfortable, obviously. She slinked up to the couple and tapped Arthur on the shoulder.

He pulled away from Hayden and turned to her. "What is it, sweetie?"

Stevie gave him a big smile. "I like your haircut."

"M… my haircut?" Arthur stammered.

"It's very unique. You must be a very special person."

"I… I… what?"

Stevie put her arm around Arthur's shoulder. "You're a special person. I can tell."

Arthur began to choke up. "Y… you can?"

"You bet I can! Just look into your heart. Deep into your heart. Is it telling you something?"

Arthur hesitated. "It… it tells me that I'm special… I'm a special person. I… I always knew I was special... but I had such a terrible childhood… and… and… I…" And he burst into tears.

Uncomfortable pause as everyone watched this crying session.

Hayden looked at Hollyn fondly. "He's so sensitive."

"My Alfred isn't sensitive. He's a man. Your Arthur is just a boy." She squealed when Alfred put his arm around her shoulder.

Roberto crept up to Hayden nervously and touched her arm lightly. "Um… Hayden?" he ventured.

She shrieked, then looked disdainfully upon Roberto. "What do you want?" she retorted.

"Could… I talk with you?"

"You already are."

"Well, I mean, privately."

"Okay." He took her gently by the arm and led her to a corner of the hallway. Everyone else was oblivious to this. Each person was either crying or watching a certain person cry.

"What do you need to tell me?" Hayden demanded. The corner to which he led her was very small. He was in her personal bubble.

"Well, I'm worried for you."

"I'm fine. Thank you."

"N… no. It's just I hear you're missing and come here to try and find you. But, you're here making bad decisions about your company. You're freely making out with some random twenty-something. What happened to the Hayden I knew from before? The Hayden who does all her homework and acts all awkward when she's around me.

"Listen, I don't want to nag you. It's just… I'd hate for you to get hurt. I've known you for some time. You're my friend."

This made Hayden melt a bit. "I… I… I'm sorry if that's the way you feel. I understand why you'd say that and feel that and…" she looked back at Arthur. He was so smexy, crying like that. She grew angry with Roberto. She snapped at him. "… and you're just jealous!"

"What?" Roberto gasped.

"Listen to _this_!" she bitched, "You're just jealous, because another guy is noticing me… and… well, I like another guy! You need to learn to step back."

"But… Hayden… I… I…" He looked at his hands.

"I don't want to hear it, Roberto. You had your chance. I found someone better."

"Hayden, I love you!" he exclaimed.

She was shocked. Honestly, Hayden? You didn't see that coming?

"You… you…"

Roberto swallowed. "I always have."

"But… but… it's too late. You've had plenty of time to tell me that. I'm sorry, Roberto. But, I… I want Arthur. Not you. Why can't you…"

He took her by the face and kissed her.

She immediately shoved him away and gave him a slap before strutting away back to her Arthur. All that drama made her feel as though people actually liked her. It was an unusual feeling. She shivered.

Arthur had stopped crying. Good for him.

"Let's go," Hayden demanded the group, angry over her confrontation with Roberto.

"No-one tells _me _what to do!" Alfred exclaimed, "I'm the hero!"

Everyone in unison chorused, "We know, Alfred."

"Where are we going?" Nevelyn asked, blinking.

"I don't care," Hayden sighed, "I just… can we go back to our fortress? I'm pretty tired and beaten up and stuff…"

"Fortress?" Roberto asked, coming out of nowhere to her side.

"You're not invited!" Hayden exclaimed.

"That's not nice, Denny!" Hollyn squealed, "Everyone is welcome to Ludwig's fortress! We have plenty of food there for everyone!"

"Thank you, Hollyn," Roberto said, smirking at Hayden mockingly.

"Don't encourage him, Hollyn," Hayden snapped, "He'll make himself at home and never leave. That's the way Roberto is."

"What's your problem?" Nevelyn asked, twirling a lock of her short hair around a finger, "I thought you liked Roberto. I mean, before you met this… British dude."

"Shut up, Nevelyn!" Hayden cried.

"I have boobies."

"Shut up, Stevie!"

"Wait!" Roberto cried, "You like me, Hayden?"

"No! I… I… Forget it! I want to go back right now. If you guys aren't coming with me, I'll go alone!" She began to march upstairs.

"Wait, Denny!" Arthur called out, running up next to her. He put his lips up to her ears and whispered, "It's alright… I know you must be going through a lot right now."

"You have _no_ idea."

They together retreated to the fortress.

Meanwhile, the others were still standing there on the first floor being awkward. Well, Roberto was sitting on the ground, with his face in his hands.

"So what happened again?" Night asked the others.

"We went down to the basement of death and destruction," Hollyn said with a low voice, "When we were approached by the monster… that terrible, terrible monster…"

"Why are you talking like that?" Night questioned.

Hollyn ignored her. "Before that terrible, terrible monster were Roberto, Konstantin, and Wonho. How they got there is still unknown. Both Roberto and Hayden were attacked, so Alfred the Hero defended us with his gun. What happened with y'all?"

"We sat around bored."

"Oh."

"Hey, people!" Konstantin exclaimed. He almost fell over from all the effort.

"What is it?" Alfred asked.

"I'm so confused right now. What am I doing here? Why can't we just leave right now? The door is just over there."

"Well…" Night started, "The door won't open from the inside. We're basically trapped. How did _you _get in anyway?"

"There's a hole in the ground behind the house that leads to the basement. Couldn't we just call someone to go that hole with a ladder or something and we can…"

"No… our phones won't work in here."

"Oh. So, who are these random people? Why do they all have accents?"

"These are Alfred, Francis, Ivan, Matthew, and Yao," Hollyn said, "We found them already here. Apparently, they've been in here for a while before wearrived."

"And you actually trust them?"

Hollyn paused. "What?" It had never occurred to her that they could be plotting something behind her back. Or hiding something.

"You don't really know who they are, Hollyn. You can't just pretend like…" he was talking to much. Had to stop in order to take a few good breaths. "Like they are perfect people."

"I'm more than a perfect person!" Francis snapped, "I am ze BIG BROTHER!"

"What does that even mean?" Nevelyn asked, blinking rapidly.

"I… uh…"

"Never mind," Nevelyn squealed, and she glomped him.

"You've barely said anything, Wonho-ho," Hollyn spoke up, "What's your opinion?"

Wonho looked shocked. "My _opinion_? I'm sorry." In his mind he was thinking, _I know this house! I remember now! But… oh, shit… that means we're all going to die eventually. It was in that game. That game I used to play back in Korea. What was the name? _"I don't have an opinion about the situation. I'm content." He felt like committing seppuku. Oh, wait. He's Korean. That's a Japanese thing. Well, whatever.

"Does anyone want to hear _my _opinion?" Matthew questioned.

"I swear," Night said irritated, "I hear this ringing in my ear, and it is driving me crazy."

"Oh, stop it, Night!" Hollyn scolded lightly, "You have to be nice. Even Matthew is a part of God's creation."

"Thank you, Hollyn," Matthew said.

"Did I hear something?" Hollyn asked, perplexed.

"But still," Konstantin protested, "This is so stupid. Roberto forced us to come here. Now, I want to go home." He glared at Roberto who was still sitting on the floor and kicked him in the side. But, he put too much effort in it and fell over.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Ludwig was thundering down the stairs, screaming with Gilbert, Feliciano, and Kiku meekly following him.

"Oh, shit, it's Ludwig," Yao cried. He hid behind Ivan.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Ludwig repeated.

"Ludwig, don't get mad at them," Feliciano whined, clinging onto his back, "It's-a scary when you yell."

Roberto looked up at the sound of Feliciano's voice. "Huh? Are you Italian?"

Feliciano's face grew red. "W… who are you? Am I Italian? S… sì."

"Sono Italiano!"

"Nientedimeno!" Feliciano climbed off Ludwig's back and jumped up to Roberto. "Come stai? Mi chiamo Feliciano Vargas!"

"Mi chiamo Roberto di Boney!"

They both launched into a conversation Italiano.

"Mein Gott," Ludwig sighed, "Finally he finds someone else to bother."

"When did Roberto start speaking Italian?" Hollyn asked anyone listening.

"When I learned to speak Russian…" Konstantin invited, half-hoping for one of the mystery men to jump out and speak to him in Russian. Everyone looked at Ivan, waiting for this. But he was too busy conversing with Stevie quietly.

"Hey… Ivan," Night called, "You know Russian, right?"

Ivan turned around startled. "Russian? Er… I suppose I do." His face grew purple. (?)

Konstantin smiled and strutted to him. "Kak delá?"

Ivan looked pleased. "Ja óčen' vozbuždjón." (If you are not Russian, DO NOT Google Translate that. It means something pretty weird. If you are Russian, I'm sorry.)

Konstantin became perplexed. Cocked his head to the side. Haha cock. "I do not understand."

Ivan gave him an evil smile. "I'm sorry."

"Vhere are Arthur and Hayley?" Ludwig demanded after counting everyone.

"They are back in the fortress," Nevelyn informed.

"Together? Alone?"

"Well… I guess so."

Ludwig stomped his foot. "Damn it! This is a rated T fanfiction! Not a porn! Ve have to go back and… stop them from doing something stupid."

This caught Roberto's attention. Idiotic Roberto had not considered that yet. "Wait! Are you saying that…? MAMMA MIA! WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!" He took off running up the stairs. Then, he realized he didn't know where the "fortress" was, so he stopped and waited for everyone to catch up after him.

Ludwig led everyone to the fortress.

"This is all so stupid," Night said to Yao as they walked.

"I completely agree. If were up to me, we would be to stay in one places."

Night considered this. Then, she realized she had no idea what he said to her. "What did you say?"

Yao shook his head in disbelief. "If were up to me, we would be to stay in one places. What you do not understand?"

"What?"

"Forget it!"

Ivan looked down at Stevie. "How is everything down there?"

Stevie smiled up at him. "Good, thank you."

"Is there anything bothering up?"

"Welllllll… now that you mention it…"

"What's wrong?"

"I was hoping that monster would come back. I hadn't done anything to stop him yet. I feel pretty useless and weak."

"You don't seem weak. Now, everyone else. They're all weak. But not you."

"I like sniffing markers."

"Sniffing markers makes me pleasure smile."

Stevie was glad she found yet another thing they had in common.

Meanwhile, Francis was getting bored of Nevelyn. This is why:

"So… I was all, 'OMG, Mad Dog, you can't just break up with me!' So he was all, 'I'm sleeping with your sister.' So I was all, 'OMG, you bastard!' Then, he like totally stomped off and stole my mother's car. I mean, what a pig, right? My mother won't forgive me for that. What a bitch, right? So… I was all, 'Mad Dog is a pig' and I started dating his best friend, Trenton. Then, Mad Dog got all jealous and stabbed Trenton in the heart. I was all, 'I'm having Trenton's baby!' And Mad Dog—I was totally lying by the way—was all, 'OMG, Nevelyn! I'll pay for the baby!' And he was all, 'I'll just rob a bank and sell your mom's ride.' So I was all…"

"Um… Nevelyn?"

Nevelyn looked at Francis, smiling and blinking blindly. "What is it, baby?"

"I don't think this going to work out. I've had my fun. Now you're starting to annoy me."

Nevelyn laughed. "That's sooo funny, Francis! I just _love_ your humor."

Francis rolled his eyes. "Oui, oui. N'importe quoi."

Roberto was nervously grabbing at Wonho's arm. "What do you think Hayden is doing?"

"She's probably…"

"No! Don't say it!"

"I wasn't going to…"

"Stop it!" He began to cry. Honestly, what a wuss. Wonho watched him in disbelief.

They entered the fortress and found Hayden and Arthur together…

… in the kitchen.

Apparently, they were trying to cook a lunch for everyone because smoke was seeping out from the sides of the oven door. Arthur was leaning Hayden against the kitchen counter, kissing her, ignoring the kitchen fire just a few feet away.

"Fire!" Feliciano screamed. Then, he ran around in a circle. Hollyn joined him in running and screaming like an idiot.

"Wh… what? Fire?" Arthur exclaimed. He turned to look at the oven. "Oh my!"

Alfred swooped in, being all heroic-like with an extinguisher.

Three minutes later. The kitchen fire was doused. And Arthur and Hayden sheepishly accepted a Ludwig Lecture About Kitchen Safety.

Roberto made himself at home in one of the beds (Ivan's bed, actually). Covered himself with the blankets and cried. No-one really noticed him anymore.

You know. It's funny. How Roberto came in to save his crush Hayden, but not one of Nevelyn's many boyfriends even gave a shit. Curious.

The first thing Konstantin saw was the large supply of food in the burning kitchen. "FOOD!" He ran to the kitchen, tripped, landed on the ground, and flailed on his back for a few minutes.

Wonho and Kiku paired up. Showing each other their epic ninja moves. I wish _I_ had epic ninja moves like theirs.

Francis ignored Nevelyn's annoying personality and started making out with her in a corner. Lucky Nevelyn.

Alfred and Gilbert ate everything in the kitchen, except for what Arthur made. Hollyn watched in admiration.

"I like food…" Alfred mumbled.

"I do, too," Gilbert mumbled back.

"I like food more!"

"Alfred's so hot," Hollyn doted fondly.

Ivan and Stevie sat at the dinner table and had a very important conversation about pickles.

Matthew was trying to join a group but ultimately found it to be impossible. So he just sulked in the corner.

When Ludwig finished with his lecture, he took Feliciano aside and engaged in…

… A serious conversation with him.

"I'm-a so worried, Ludwig," Feliciano whined.

"Vhy?" Ludwig asked, "Vhat's vrong with you?"

"How come all these people are… are… coming here? This… this is-a only more dangerous. Just… more people for me to get out of this house."

"You? Vhy are you so serious all of the sudden?" Ludwig asked.

"It's just… I'm-a worried for all these people here. But, now that Hollyn, Hayden, Night, Nevelyn, Stevie, Roberto, Konstantin, and Wonho are all here… it's only uno…due… otto more people to worry about."

"It's not just you, Italy," Ludwig said quietly. He used Feliciano's real name to show a bit more affection. That was not a typo or something.

"What do you mean, Ludwig?"

"It's not just you who needs to get us all out. It's me and Francis and Alfred and… vell… everyone. Ve all vant to get everyone out. You aren't alone. This isn't _just _your responsibility."

Feliciano considered this. "I suppose you're-a right, Ludwig."

Arthur and Hayden worked together to clean the kitchen.

"That chap from before. He doesn't like me does he?" Arthur asked.

"Who? Roberto? Don't worry about him. He's a little… I don't know, emotional?"

"How do you know him?"

"We've been going to school together for two years now. He's also the brother of my sister's best friend."

"You have a sister?"

"No dur! Why would I mention my sister if I really didn't have one? Do _you_ have a sister?"

"No… I… I have quite a few brothers but no sisters."

Hayden flipped her fluffy hair off her shoulder. "Oh… that's quite interesting. Because, you see, the whole mathematics of genetics give an equal probability for…" (just imagine Hayden ranting about genetics)

Meanwhile! Night and Yao were sitting at a pair of armchairs.

"How come… what was what you say about you and Hayden earlier?" Yao asked Night.

"What do you mean?"

"You talking about Hayden and you and…"

Night wringed her hands awkwardly. "Hayden has always had this little obsession over me."

"That make no sense. She girl. You girl. Very gay, don't you think?"

"I'm not gay!" Night cried out.

"I never say."

"She's gay, I tell you! Hayden Kirkland is so gay and…"

"Her last name _Kirkland_?" Yao asked with great interest.

"Yeah… why?"

"Oh… no reason." Yao smiled to himself amusedly. Incest! So primitive.

(dramatically) Duh! Duh! Duh! The plot thickens.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9- Hollyn Talks To Her Sushi

"I swear, this time ve vill get something fulfilled!"

It was the next day. The night before Ivan let Roberto stay in his bed, and Konstantin and Wonho slept on the floor.

Well, anyway, it was the next day. Everyone was gathered around the dining table. Ludwig was standing while everyone else was sitting. He was lecturing and screaming again.

Roberto whispered to Hayden, "What makes him in charge?"

Hayden rolled her eyes crossly and turned her back to him. "I'm trying to listen here, Roberto."

He sighed irritably and repeated the question to Night.

"Oh… I don't know," Night mumbled back, "But, he seems like a jerk to me."

Ludwig slammed a fist into the table, making everyone jump. "Ve vill go out again and get something figured out! I realize you idiots are too easily distracted vhen vith your usual groups. So I've decided to mix things up."

"What is he talking about?" Hollyn asked herself quietly.

"For Christ's sake, Hollyn! You're such a _baka_!" Hayden muttered, "Ludwig is simply explaining to us that when we were in our old groups, we were too easily distracted. He chose to change the groups around, so, if we are lucky, we could actually get something accomplished."

"No need to be mean…" Hollyn whined pathetically, "I was just confused."

"You're just a stupid _baka_," Hayden sighed.

Hollyn first looked offended. Then, her frown turned into a huge grin. "You already used the word '_baka_' in your last insult," she pointed out teasingly, "You're out of insult ideas, aren't ya?"

Hayden closed her eyes, exasperatedly. Took a deep breath and: "_Baka! Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! Baka! Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! Baka! Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka! _ _Baka!_"

Each man looked up in surprise.

"Whoa… déjà vu…" Alfred breathed. Then, he tried to pat himself on the back for using a foreign-sounding word. It was sad to watch.

Hayden noticed all the eyes staring at her. "What do you mean by déjà vu?"

Francis cleared his throat sexily. "Déjà vu is a French term. _Déjà _meaning 'already'. _Vu _meaning 'I had seen'. Hence, I had already seen."

"I'm not stupid, Francis," Hayden retorted sharply, "I'm a straight-A honor student. I'm the president of the math team and music club and a member of the National Honor Society, Spanish Honor Society, service club, Youth in Government, drama club, the Youth Leadership Society, and anime club. I have an un-weighted GPA of 4.0. I earned a composite score of thirty-four on the fucking ACT. I am the top of my class. I _KNOW_ what déjà vu means!"

"So why did you ask?" Francis asked innocently, blinking like a teenaged girl.

"_How come_ it is déjà vu?"

Every man looked at a blushing Arthur who then set his head down on the table and gestured nonchalantly at Alfred. "You… you can tell them."

Alfred smiled triumphantly. "Weeeell! Artie here was trying to get me drunk for some reason, so he totally took me to the bar for drinks. Because, dude, I'm the hero I didn't get drunk at all. But, Artie got totally wasted yo. So… dude had this little spaz attack with him screaming the word _baka _at me over and over and over. What a loser, right?"

"Right!" Stevie applauded as if on cue.

"Idiot," Hayden snapped (at Alfred), "He didn't have a spaz attack because he's a loser. It's simply because, when the body takes in alcohol, the levels of…"

"Hey, Hayden?" Night spoke up.

"Huh?"

"Shut up."

"Okay."

Roberto's face turned red. He began to talk to himself inside of his head. _So Hayden is in love with a drunk_. _That's not like her. Hayden always bitches whenever I ask to copy her homework. Imagine what would happen if I got wasted or something. There's something in this house making her unlike how she really is. _Actually, there wasn't anything supernatural in the house making Hayden act stranger than normal. No… Arthur was there.

"CAN VE PLEASE GET BACK ON TOPIC?!" Ludwig shouted.

"I'm-a listening to you, Ludwig!" Feliciano answered him just as loudly.

"Calm down, West," Gilbert said (I just realized I barely put him in the story, my apologies), "It's fine. They can figure out vhat they need eventually."

Ludwig shook his head. "Vill they?"

"I am awesome."

"Thank you for answering mein question, Gilbert." Ludwig rolled his Aryan-blue eyes.

"Always here for you, West."

After about funf minutes of screaming, people started listening to Ludwig again.

"So!" Ludwig called, "I have assigned new groups. Arthur, Nevelyn, Gilbert, Hollie, Roberto, and Matthew vill go to the fourth floor. Blythe, Francis, Kiku, Ivan, Vonho, and I vill go to the third floor. Yao, Hayley, Stevie, Feliciano, Konstantin, and Alfred will stay here and prepare us food and, perhaps, more beds. Eighteen Gott-damn people? I hope some of us die soon."

Hayden looked at Night with huge eyes. "I hope Night is the first to die, so I can eat her dead body."

Night and Roberto both smiled. Hayden really was her normal self. Arthur felt awkward.

"So… ve go now, ja?" Ludwig led everyone who was supposed to leave out of the room.

Now! Let's check in with Nevelyn and Hollyn's group first!

They were derping around the fourth floor, which is only two rooms- the bedroom with the hole in the floor and a study-storage-thingy room.

Arthur, Gilbert, and Matthew busied themselves in searching through bookcases, chests, and wardrobes. Nevelyn, Hollyn, and Roberto hung back.

Nevelyn sat on the ground in the bedroom and looked sad. "I miss my Francis," she whined.

"It's okay," Hollyn said kneeling down to touch Nevelyn's shoulder gently, "He's probably missing you back." He actually wasn't.

"I also miss Facebook."

"I thought Facebook was banned in your house."

"But I still miss it!" Nevelyn put her head in her lap. It hurt her neck, but she felt it looked like how she felt—tired and uncomfortable.

Roberto sat down next to Nevelyn. "I… I miss World of Warcraft…

Nevelyn's sat back up and glared at him. "No-one asked you, loser! Stop thinking only of yourself! You're so vain!" Then, she took out her makeup and hair stuff and groomed herself for the fifth time that day.

Hollyn, feeling awkward, stood up, left the bedroom, and entered the storage room. Something caught her eye. An over-sized sushi roll plastered into the wall in the corner. (yes, I know it's _supposed_ to be a mochi.)

"Holy Rin Okumura! There's sushi in here!" She ran to it.

"Oh…" Arthur commented looking up from a book he was reading, "You found him…"

"It's a him?" Hollyn squealed delighted. Nevelyn and Roberto entered the room hurriedly.

"Sushi?" Nevelyn called happily. Sushi is yummy.

"A him sushi!" Hollyn replied.

"What makes it a him?" Roberto asked. He looked carefully at the sushi roll, scowling. Sushi is yucky to him.

Nevelyn grinned evilly. "A penis?" Then, the idea of a sushi roll with a penis made her feel like gagging.

Roberto smiled back at her, face red.

Hollyn screeched, "That's a naughty, naughty word, Nevey!"

"Seriously, what makes it a him?" Roberto asked again.

Arthur smirked from across the room. "You'll see."

Roberto scowled at him. _Damn Brit. _

Hollyn tried to retrieve the sushi roll, but it was stuck in the wall. "Why won't you come out, my little sushi friend?"

The roll then started to move. Wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle. Trying to remove itself from the wall.

"Holy Death Scythe!" Hollyn yelped, surprised, "It's moving!"

Suddenly, she noticed a little face on the cute little sushi roll. His cute little eyes were squeezed shut, and his cute little mouth was in a cute little pout.

"Are you stuck, cute little sushi roll?" Hollyn asked him.

The cute little sushi roll just barely nodded.

Hollyn almost died awing.

Then, she turned to Arthur. "You couldn't get him out?" Arthur shrugged.

Gilbert spoke up. "West tried to get him out a while ago. If West can't get him out, no-one can. The sushi is stuck in there."

Hollyn began to sniffle. Poor cute, little sushi roll.

Gilbert returned to his pointless searching.

Or… maybe there was a point.

After a few minutes of Hollyn's crying and Gilbert's searching: "Woo! I am so awesome! Look what I found!" He dug an analog alarm clock out of a chest.

"So what?" Roberto snapped, "It's just a clock."

Gilbert gave Arthur a wild grin. Matthew morphed into the room, stood in the doorway, and watched everyone.

"But we're not breaking it," Arthur said matter-of-factly.

"Why would we break it?" Roberto asked.

"EW! There's a cockroach!" Nevelyn shrieked. She took out a huge ass aerosol can of hairspray.

"Nooo!" Arthur, Gilbert, and Matthew all yelled.

She swung the can violently at the clock and the poor cockroach.

Suddenly, everything froze. Hollyn looked around, confused. The lights dimmed, and everything turned a dark orange.

"What's going on?" Hollyn asked herself.

Suddenly, everything turned black. And when the lights returned (still dark orange) she was standing in the basement where Alfred battled the monster. But the monster was gone. It was just Alfred, Ivan, and Night… and another Hollyn.

Real Hollyn gasped and looked down at herself. She was there, all right. How could there be two of her? She was about to tackle her imposter when something caught her eye. (Hollyn was über-ADD. Obviously.)

Lying on the ground was Stevie. Covered in blood. A huge, gory gash was seeping bodily juices from her chest and stomach cavities. Her glassy eyes were wide open, without blinking. Her red lips were moving, but no sound was coming out.

"What is it, Stevie?" Real Hollyn asked gently. She kneeled down next to her, but Stevie didn't even acknowledge her. What a jerk.

"Wait!" Hollyn told herself, "Perhaps this isn't really what's going on. I watched an anime like this. This is probably just a memory or something. That's why everything is orange. But… I don't remember this." She stepped back, confused. Decided to watch.

"What is it, Stevie?" Imposter Hollyn asked gently. She kneeled down next to her, and Stevie turned her head slightly to see her better.

"I…" Stevie coughed twice, blood erupted from her lips. Gross. "I… I have boobies."

Imposter Hollyn started to cry.

Ivan kneeled down next to Hollyn and looked at Stevie with big eyes. "I'm so... sorry, Stevie."

Stevie raised her bruised eyebrows. "I should be sorry. I… I let all of you fight the battles for me. I was useless. I wanted to help… but I… I…" she paused. "W…why are you… sorry?"

"I promised you," Ivan explained, "I told you I wouldn't let you die… I promised you…"

"I don't remember…" then Stevie's eyes grew even huger with terror, "I'm dying?!"

"No," he lied.

Stevie nodded faintly. There was a loud crack from her neck. She screamed in pain, blood venting from her open mouth. Then, her scream turned into an aching whimper. Then, silence.

Ivan stood up abruptly and marched out of the room, hiding his face in his scarf. Alfred and Night stood there for a few moments, then left also. But Imposter Hollyn stayed with Stevie, bawling.

Real Hollyn started to cry as well. "Stevie?" she called out. Imposter Hollyn meekly closed Stevie's eyes like in all the movies. "Stevie! STEVIE!"

Then, everything turned black.

And she was transported back to reality.

Back in reality! Hollyn collapsed to the floor, unconscious.

"Hollyn!" Roberto exclaimed catching her just before her head hit the ground. He wrote this down in his mental notebook: _I saved Hollyn's life. She owes me a lot. _

Her face was white, and her lips were blue. Just add black and her face would be the Estonian flag. Sorry. That was random.

Roberto set Hollyn carefully on the ground.

"What's wrong with Hollyn?" Nevelyn demanded running up to her fallen body. Arthur, Gilbert, and Matthew followed her lead. They gathered around her.

"What are we going to do?" Arthur asked nervously. If he let Hollyn die, Hayden would never forgive him.

"It's not like she's going to die, Arthur," Gilbert stated mockingly, "She only fainted. She must have seen one of those false memories."

"False memories?" Nevelyn looked at him anxiously, "Did you see them, too?"

Gilbert's face turned red. He didn't want to answer. "I am awesome. What did you see?"

"I saw… I saw… you know what? I'm fucking crazy. Just forget it!"

"I'm guessing Hollyn saw something pretty disturbing." Arthur rubbed his chin thoughtfully. It was, like, so sexy, ohmigod.

Roberto started slapping Hollyn's face gently. Shouting, "Hollyn? Hollyn? You hafta wake up now, Hollyn!"

Hollyn obviously heard him. Blink-blink. She lifted herself up on her elbows. "Stevie?" she asked, bleary-eyed.

_Mamma mia! She's got amnesia. _Roberto gasped. "No! It's Roberto!"

"Oh. Ew. Roberto."

_Or not. _

"What happened to you, Hollyn? Did you have one of those weird false memories?" Nevelyn asked pushing Roberto aside.

"I… I saw Stevie die."

"You did? Well, that's funny. Cuz I saw _you _die."

"You tell _her_ but not _me_?" demanded Gilbert.

Nevelyn and Hollyn both ignored him.

"You saw me die? How? How did I die? The monster attacked Stevie. Was I attacked, too?"

Nevelyn gave her a disappointing smile. "Nah! You choked to death on a sushi roll."

"Oh."

Hollyn rubbed her eyes. "How long was I passed out?"

"Not for too long. Now, what happened with Stevie?"

"I… she just… was attacked by that THING. And she died."

Nevelyn smiled arrogantly. "Was _I_ there?"

"What? No."

Nevelyn stood up huffily. "Figures! No-one ever remembers Nevelyn Rosita Latasha Kappa-Upsilon-Nu-Tao Maria Dawne the Third anymore." She marched to a corner and pouted.

"Guess so," laughed Gilbert evilly. He turned to Matthew and muttered under his breath, "I bet that loser Roberto had a memory about that Hayden chick."

"Alright," Matthew muttered back, but Gilbert didn't hear him.

"But… Arthur," Hollyn ventured, "these don't predict the future, right?"

"You're right," Arthur said, "As far as we've deduced, these do not predict the future, but they also aren't memories. We just call them 'false memories' until we know exactly what these stupid visions are."

"False memories? Huh. Glad there's a name for them." Hollyn turned to Roberto. "Did _you _see anything?"

"Yes." He paused dramatically. "I saw Hayden die."

Gilbert threw his fist into the air. "I called it! I'm so awesome!"

Hollyn grinned. "I could have guessed that, too. How did she die?"

"If you don't mind, I really don't feel like talking about it right now, okay?"

"Okay." The idea of Hayden dying made her smile.

"OMG, yousguys! My phone's working!" Nevelyn had stopped pouting. In her hand was her cell phone, turning on.

"We figured that out, too," Arthur said, "When we break a clock, our phones and watches work. I don't really get it. But, whatever…"

Nevelyn was fiddling away on her phone.

"You're telling someone about our situation, right?" Gilbert said.

"Hell no!" Nevelyn said, "That'd be stupid. I'm checking up on my Facebook page. Duh!"

Let's check up on another group, cool? How about the group staying in the fortress?

"I will prepare best food possible," Yao exclaimed, "You sit back and watch master work."

After a few minutes of "watching the master work", Yao commanded that they leave the kitchen area; Konstantin's panting/breathing was too distracting.

Feliciano approached Hayden solemnly. "Hey… Hey, Hayden?"

Hayden turned to look at him disdainfully. "What do you want from me, mango?"

"What?"

"Never mind. Continue."

Feliciano blinked. "Ve~ well, you-a seem to be the leader of your group of friends and…"

Hayden's cold, emotionless eyes brightened. "I do?"

"Sì," he continued patiently, "Well, I wanted to tell you something. Um… I was hoping you could-a give me a list."

"Oh, God. Not a list." Lists annoy the crap out of Hayden, no joke.

"Yes. A list of your friends, including Roberto, Konstantin, and Wonho. Have the list be in the order of having-the-most-potential-in-popular-society to having-the-least-potential-in-popular-society. You don't-a have to include yourself."

"Okay. That doesn't sound too bad. Why do you need it?"

"I-a was thinking… I might not be able to get all of you out. If I have to sacrifice someone for the good of the whole group, I want to sacrifice the one with the least-potential-in-popular-society. Does that make any sense?"

"Yes."

"Buon!"

"You're a monster. That's actually pretty heartless. But, I don't really mind. I'll have the list ready for you by tonight. Is that okay? But… what makes you think _you _have to get everyone out yourself? No offense, but you don't seem like the strongest in the group."

Feliciano turned away from Hayden with teary eyes. "I'm-a stronger than you think I am, Hayden." And he walked away.

Hayden shrugged and sat down to begin her list. And, of course, on the top of the list (i.e. the friend having the most potential in popular society) she scripted in a romantic scrawl: _Night Moon. _Then, she shivered. Just the name itself gave her chills.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 10- Steve Has a Low Self-Esteem

"Oh my golly gracious!"

Hayden set her pen down. She had been tucked over her list of names for the last ten minutes. A voice was ringing in her head again. Not the satanic hisses of congratulations. But the squeaky, high-pitched speech of someone familiar. Hollyn.

"This is so much fun. Oh my golly gracious!"

It was the voice of Hollyn from just the weekend before, when she and Hayden both went shopping at their city commercial center. They arrived at three in the afternoon and left at nine. Had the best time ever parading the sidewalks, laughing at each other and how the Starbucks workers spelled their names wrong on their coffee cups: _Hallon _and _Payton._

Back in the present, Hayden shook her head. She shouldn't think about life before the mansion as she wrote this list. It was all up to her. Who of her friends die first. Who of her friends die last.

Hollyn's voice disappeared from her head and was replaced by Night's.

"Give me your answers on the English homework."

It was a voice of Night from school. The stern demanding. Hayden's constant answer to the command: "Tell me you love me."

Night would roll her eyes. "I love you. Whatever. Give me your answers!"

Back in the present, Hayden shook Night's voice out of her head. She shouldn't think about life before the mansion as she wrote this list. It was all up to her. Who of her friends die first. Who of her friends die last.

Night's voice disappeared from her head and was replaced by Nevelyn's.

Now, by this point in time, Hayden should have been worried about hearing all these voices, but she didn't seem to mind. She'd always been a little messed up in the head.

"OMG, Hayden! I'll make you beautiful!"

It was a voice of Nevelyn from Hollyn's birthday party. Nevelyn made it her mission to make Hayden "beautiful". (Is that even possible?) She had Hayden sit down in a desk chair and burned her hair with a device used to burn and forever damage hair. Then, she covered Hayden's face with layers of contaminated drugstore makeup that did not match her olive skin color.

"No… no… please don't!" was Hayden's unheard protest. She wound up with a terrible skin disease that stuck around for two weeks.

Back in the present, Hayden shook Nevelyn's voice out of her head. She shouldn't think about life before the mansion as she wrote this list. It was all up to her. Who of her friends die first. Who of her friends die last. (God bless copy-and-paste)

Nevelyn's voice disappeared from her head and was replaced by Stevie's.

"Hello there, Hayden."

This voice was different from the others. It wasn't from any point in her almost-empty social history. It was just Stevie's slinky voice echoing in her ears. Eternally greeting her.

Back outside Hayden's greatly disturbed psyche, she shook Stevie's creepy voice out of her head.

It was replaced by Roberto's voice.

"Ciao, Hayden! I had another dream about you last night." He was sitting next to her in homeroom with a tissue held up to his bleeding lip, trying to smile. Hayden wanted to faint.

Back in reality, Hayden slammed her face against the table where she was sitting. "Get out of my head, Roberto!" she ordered. Everyone in the room looked up, saw it was just Hayden talking to herself again, and returned to whatever they were doing.

Hayden shouldn't think about life before the mansion as she wrote this list. It was all up to her. Who of her friends die first. Who of her friends die last.

No other voices entered her head. Good for her.

She ignored her past and scribbled more names.

A couple minutes later, Hayden took up her finished list and approached Feliciano sternly. He was having a less-than-productive conversation with Stevie at the dining table.

"I finished it faster than I thought. I guess I'm a heartless monster as well," she said. She folded the list three times and placed it in his outstretched hand. "I hope I did it correctly."

Feliciano gave her a big, fake smile. "I'm-a sure you did."

Hayden half-smiled. It felt wrong. "Alright, then. I'll leave you two back to your conversation." She walked away, thinking. _How could Feliciano be taking this all so lightly? He just asked me for a list of people to kill! _

She made her way to Konstantin, who was sitting in one of the beds (Francis's bed actually) with a whole serving dish full of lo mein and dumplings and other Asian foods.

"Hey Hayden," he said, "Want some?" He held out the dish for her.

"Ew. No."

Konstantin smiled. "Haha! More for me!" He swallowed a handful of food.

"How can you eat all of that?" Hayden bitched, "Have you any idea what will happen to your body?"

Konstantin grabbed his oversized tummy. "Nothing it hadn't already done to it."

Hayden blinked twice. "You're fat. Hey… anyway, you never really explained why you… and Roberto and Wonho… even came to this hell-house?"

"I hadn't told you yet?"

"Perhaps you have, I'm bad with my memory."

"B-but you're so smart. How could you be…?"

"Just shut up and tell me again!"

Konstantin set his food plate down and leaned back. "Roberto was freaking out because he discovered you were missing. He dragged Asian guy and me into this really."

Hayden blushed. "Roberto was freaking out because of _me_?"

Konstantin gave her a smirk. "Feeling special?"

"I never thought that he even like me…"

He raised an eyebrow. "You _never_ thought that? Really?"

"That was a lie."

"Thought so."

Across the room, Stevie quickly ended her conversation with Feliciano when she spontaneously reached out and pulled the curl coming off his red-brown hair. He quickly silenced and sat back in his chair uncomfortably. She took this as her cue to leave.

She made her way to Alfred who was sitting at one of the chairs, eating Chinese food.

"Does that taste yummy in your mouth?" she asked curiously.

"Yeah," Alfred mumbled, face stuffed with his lunch, "It tastes yummy in my stomach, too."

"I have a belly button."

"Everyone does, I think."

"Can I see _yours_?"

Alfred swallowed and looked at Stevie, confused. "No-one's ever asked to see it before."

"I care about it," Stevie whined.

Alfred lifted up his shirt, revealing a tight set of abs and a perfectly sculpted navel. It's surprising that he has a nice stomach considering all the crap he eats.

Stevie clapped her hands happily and cheered, "It's beautiful, Alfred!"

Alfred gave her a huge grin. "You think so? I guess, you're right. It's one _great_ belly button."

Stevie sat down next to him and put her hands between her knees. "I feel sorry for my belly button. I mean, Imagine being a belly button. Always hidden in the dark. Always lonely without being noticed."

This made Alfred sad. "Dudette, you're like totally right. Poor belly button." He proceeded to poke his belly button jovially. "I'll always be here for you, dude!"

Stevie nodded approvingly. She won't be happy until the whole world acknowledges their belly buttons. It was her dream for society.

Now! Going onto the third group. If you forgot already, that group was Blythe… I mean, Night, Francis, Kiku, Ivan, Wonho, and Ludwig. And they were going to the third floor.

They were spread out across the third floor, which really only was the piano room and the library.

Francis, Wonho, and Ludwig were drifting among the bookshelves of the library, reading the spines of the books.

"Han Yongun's _The Silence of the Lover_," Wonho read, "We had to read that at my school. This library has everything."

"Ah, yes," Francis said rubbing his stubbly chin, "The best of literature comes from my home. See! _The Book of Pity and Death _by Pierre Loti, _À la recherché du temps perdu _by Marcel Proust, _Les Misérables _by Victor Hugo. France is the literature capital of the world!"

Ludwig rolled his eyes. "If you say so, cheese-eater. But the literature of Germany isn't so bad either."

Francis flipped his long blond hair. "Say what you wish, Ludwig, _mon ami_. But, you know what I say is _la_ _vérité_, ."

"Ja, ja!"

Wonho watched in wonder. _Who _are_these people? _

At this time, Ivan and Kiku were both in the piano room. Kiku was standing over the piano itself. "I feer rike… there's something in this room that… is armost famiriar."

"I think you are crazy, Kiku," Ivan said bluntly. He was searching through the drawers in the room, "Almost familiar? How could it be at all familiar?"

"I'm sensing the mood, Ivan," Kiku replied, "And the mood is terring me that something bad wirr and arready did happen in this room."

"You are crazy."

Night was sitting against the wall in the hallway, thinking about her crushing hunger. She hadn't eaten in sixty-nine minutes.

"I'm going down to the fortress to get some food," Night called into the library.

No-one heard. So no-one replied.

Night flipped her bangs, bored. "Whatever. I take that as a 'yes'." She marched downstairs to the second floor.

Standing there at the bottom of the staircase, around a corner, waiting. Was the monster himself. Making his debut in this chapter.

"Damn…" Night muttered. She had left her made-in-Taiwan samurai sword back on the third floor. "I don't give a shit. I can kick his ass anyway."

No, she couldn't. The monster, somehow telling she was unarmed, kicked her. She skidded across the floor and only stopped when the wall made her stop.

Her chest and general torso hit the wall hard, knocked the breath out of her. She felt all her blood rush through her neck and to her head, pounding hard against her ears. She had no more energy.

"I can't go on like this…" she moaned, "How can I ever…" Then, it occurred to her. The bathroom on the first floor with the disappointing non-alcoholic beer. The onigiri Hollyn had eaten made her feel stronger. Maybe it could work… now.

Ignoring her extreme pain (she was an athlete anyway) Night raced down to the first floor. The monster gave a sigh of annoyance and followed after her.

She ran to the bathroom and to the toilet. Surprisingly, the monster didn't follow her there. Perhaps he thought she needed privacy. Huh. For a monster, he could be refreshingly polite.

Night fumbled through her pockets and found just enough of those HETA coins to pay for one onigiri serving.

She ate it quickly though all the chewing hurt her broken head.

_HP Restored To 805 _appeared over her. The pain left Night's head and chest. She felt overwhelmed with ninja super powers.

Then, Night noticed the words above her change. _Night has earned the power of sarcasm. _

"Sarcasm?" Night asked herself, rolling her eyes, "That sounds _sooo _helpful."

She left the bathroom to face the monster, who was leisurely leaning against the wall just outside.

"Oh, look at you, big-shot!" Night bullied, "You look _sooo _cool, don't you?"

_Night has used the power of sarcasm. _The monster's figure flashed red with embarrassment. He covered his face with his hands and took a step back. Who knew the monster had such bad self-image issues? That's why all the other monsters picked on him. All those monsters in those magazines are so cool and modern and defiant. He was nothing. He would always be a nobody. He would never have a date for prom. So many feelings were coming to the surface, and Steve ran off, bawling about his pathetic life. If only the monster knew how beautiful he really is on both the outside and the inside, Night et al. wouldn't be in this crappy predicament.

Night tried to run after him to see where the hell he stays when he's not attacking them, but she tripped on her cleats' untied laces.

_Night was victorious. 10 HETA found. _"Only ten fucking HETAs?!" Night snapped and slogged up to the fortress slowly.

Hayden was being awkward with an eggroll Yao made when Night threw herself into the room. She was pretty tired from all that sarcasm.

"Nighty-night!" Hayden squealed, "You came back?"

Take both Arthur and Roberto away from her for just a few minutes… and she becomes Night-crazed all over again.

"No," Night mumbled sarcastically, "What are you talking about? I'm not back."

_Night has used the power of sarcasm. _She grew more tired. Decided to just collapse on the wooden floor. Asleep.

"Oh no, Nighty-night!" Hayden babied, "Your shoelaces aren't tied! You might trip!" Irony. She ran to her and fiddled with the laces for a few minutes.

Then, she realized Night was asleep.

"I love you, Night Moon," she said possessively. Hayden touched Night's hair lightly, stood up, and retreated to a dark corner where she could be emo.

Konstantin was watching this nearby. Was taking mental notes for Roberto later.

Yao came out of the kitchen area with his hands full of Chinese dishes. "Night back? I bring her good Chinese dishes to her for to of that on behalf of the for because eat." Yao needed to work on his English.

He set a plate of "yummy-yummy-ding-dong" next to her sleeping corpse, and soon enough, Night was awake and wolfing down the food.

"I glad to see you have appetite, Night. What happen to you? You look tired."

"I…" Night mumbled between swallows, "ot… at… awn… er."

"Ha!" Yao exclaimed, "You're pulling an Alfred!"

"No-one's pulling me!" From the other side of the room, Alfred set down his Chinese food and whined in protest.

Yao ignored him. "That's what we say when a person talks and eats at the same time."

"I don't do that!" Alfred objected.

Night ignored him. Swallowed. "Glad there's a term for that."

"Don't ignore me!"

Yao helped Night up to her feet and stood awkwardly in front of her. "Did you fight that monster or something?"

"I already said that."

"I did no understand. Did he run away?"

Night nodded, grinning. "It was _so _a badass!"

Yao smiled. "_You _is badass." He reached forward and took Night from behind the neck. Pulled her face closer and kissed her.

Hayden, who was watching from across the room, gasped, scrambled around the kitchen to find a knife, and loudly threatened to cut herself. No-one paid any attention, and she meekly set the knife back down. What a freak, right?

Night was so happy. She even forgot she had her own personal stalker. All she thought about was the badass Asian connected to her by the lip.

Hayden was so confused. She forgot the two guys who actually held feelings for her. All she thought about was the cruelty of her life.

Back on the third floor, no-one was missing Night. Rather, Ludwig had just found an analog alarm clock.

"Kiku! Ivan!" Ludwig called, "Come here. I found another alarm clock! Let us organize vhat ve are going to do!"

Kiku and Ivan rushed into the room.

"Ooo!" Francis exclaimed, "Can _I _be the one to break it?"

"Break it?" Kiku cried politely, "Why wourd we break it. We're just see more memories…"

"Memories?" Wonho asked, "What are you talking about?"

"Each time we break one of these ararm clocks, we see things," Kiku explained, "Farse memories. Not the past. Not the future."

"Oh," Wonho muttered.

"You understand?" Kiku asked.

"No."

"Do not worry, my little Asian friend," Ivan said sweetly, pulling out the water pipe he keeps in his pocket, "Let Ivan Braginski will show you." He slammed the pipe into the clock, shattering it.

Now! Let's snake into Francis's mind. To see what false memory he sees.

Real Francis approached Nevelyn who was lying in one of the beds. He looked down at her curiously. Perhaps she'd be naked. No such luck.

A bloody knife wound was dug into the side of her soft neck. Surrounding her were Imposter Francis, Hollyn, and Feliciano. Real Francis joined them.

Meanwhile, Hayden was being subdued across the room. Having been driven crazy after so much time in the house, she stabbed Nevelyn, her longtime friend, in the neck. She folded herself up in the corner, with her face in her lap. Arthur was kneeling next to her, crying over her utter insanity.

Nevelyn's eyes were closed, and her eyelids were blue.

"Nevey… Nevey…" Imposter Francis wept.

Hollyn was crying, too, and Imposter Francis put his arm around her shoulder and leaned on her. I mean, Hollyn was still a female, and Francis was still a gynophile. (Yes, I made that word up.)

"How did this happen?" Feliciano cried, looking at his hands, "We've been here for four months. We're almost out of food. We just watched Night, Roberto, Yao, Kiku, Konstantin, and Ivan die slowly and painfully. But, still! How could Hayden have become insane?" He turned his face away. (I just reveled a lot about their situation using dialogue. My creative writing teacher would be proud.)

Back to HaniOni land: "Nevelyn?" Hollyn asked through her yucky tears, "How did Hayden do this to you?"

Nevelyn just barely opened her eyes. "When Hayden saw Night die… I don't know… O…M…G… Hayden… is such... a loser!"

Hollyn nodded. She agreed. Most people would agree.

"Nevelyn…" Real Francis whispered, "Poor… poor Nevelyn."

Imposter Francis set his hand on Nevelyn's cheek, and she smiled. "Nevelyn? Are… are you happy? Are you comfortable? Is there anything I could do to make you feel… belter?"

Nevelyn scowled. "Dude, really? Am I happy? I'm fucking dying, you bastard. How could I be comfortable… I just got stabbed in the neck. This feels like shit!"

Imposter Francis recoiled. "_Pardon_, ungrateful bitch!"

Nevelyn's smile returned. "I was only JKing, you idiot. I am _so _happy right now. The only way I could be happier is if you…you kissed me right now."

Imposter Francis brought his lips to hers and kissed her.

And she died. But Francis continued to make out with her dead body. Can you say "necrophilia?"

Real Francis was shocked. "Nevelyn? How could you die? How could you have…?" He took a rose out of his cape pocket. And laid it on Nevelyn's huge chest.

Then, he returned to reality.

"Hayden…" he hissed sexily.

"Vhat did you see?" Ludwig asked.

"That bitch Hayden killed Nevelyn. I'm going to kill her!" He prepared to march out of the room to beat the crap out of her. But, Ludwig held him back.

"Not now, France!"

Wonho looked up in surprise. "France?"

"Francis! Vhat did _you _see, Vonho?"

He furrowed his little Asian eyebrows. "I did not see anything."

Ludwig attempted to smile. But, that failed. "I cannot see those false memories either. I am glad there is someone who cannot see them also."

Wonho shrugged. Turned to Francis. "How did Hayden kill Nevelyn?"

Francis wiped his manly tears. "She went crazy and stabbed her in the neck with a couteau. That bitch will pay." He rolled up his sexy sleeves and looked evil.

"Not now!" Ludwig screamed, "That is not the truth. It is _not _the future or the past. Ve have already decided that!"

"I still want to kill her!" Francis exclaimed. Black Francis.

Ivan, who was standing there the whole time, smiled, too. "I had bad memory as well."

Ludwig rolled his eyes. "Nobody cares, Ivan!" he said sharply.

A purple aura appeared around him again. His eyes grew dark and evil. The room grew cold. "Nobody cares about Ivan Braginski?" he asked dauntingly.

Francis shrieked like a real man. "No! No! Everybody cares about Ivan Braginski! I… I love you, Ivan Braginski!"

The aura fell and cold left.

"Well," Ivan cheered, "That is good. Everyone must love Mother Russia."

Wonho looked at Ivan confusedly. "Mother Russia?"

"Mother Ivan!"

Wonho gave him a small smile. "_Mother _Ivan?"

Ivan put his face in his hands. "It… it's a… term."

"I want to go back," Francis whined.

"Why?" Kiku asked. He had been quiet for a long time. During his false-memory-session, he saw something quite disturbing.

"I want to make sure Nevey is alive!"

"She's arive, trust me, Francis. But, if you want to go, I presume we can… wait, aren't we missing someone?"

Ludwig looked around angrily. "Blythe!"

"Night…" Kiku corrected him politely. He called out into the hallway, "Night? Are you there? Are you there?"

No answer.

"Perhaps she went back to my fortress," Ludwig suggested.

Ivan looked up at Ludwig suspiciously. "Or maybe she's…" Ivan gave a smile. "… dead."

"Let's not think rike that," Kiku spoke up, "Ret us go now."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 11- Steve Is Careless with His Hardware

I should warn you, proverbial reader; this is the most awkward chapter so far, okay? Expect some weird stuff.

Everyone returned to the fortress and sat around the dining table with Yao's yummy cooking.

"This is delicious," Konstantin cheered, stuffing his Russian face with Asian cuisine.

Hayden rolled her eyes and poked at the food with a fork. "Yuck," she sighed, "This food is full of sodium and covered in oil. Honestly, high sodium levels will give me high blood pressure like my dumbass father. This oil will clog my arteries with cholesterol. I'm _sorry_ if I want to live long enough to graduate from a top-honors university. This food is going to kill me."

Ludwig was annoyed by Hayden's nagging. Really, Ludwig of all people is sick of someone's nagging? "If ve don't get out of here, you von't graduate from novhere!"

Hayden humbly put her head down. Then, realized Ludwig's terrible grammar. "I'm sorry, Ludwig, but that was a very poorly constructed sentence. Double negative, stupid."

Ludwig grabbed Hayden by the shirt collar. "Who are _you_ calling stupid, you… you… irritating bitch!?"

Hayden yelped in alarm. "N… not you!"

Ludwig threw her down onto the floor. And she started to cry.

Night abruptly stood up and gave Ludwig an enormous hug.

"Vhat?" he cried in surprise, "Vhy do you hug me like zis, Blythe?"

Night smiled into his shoulder. He smelled like dog and pain. "Everyone's wanted to do that for the last sixteen years."

Hayden looked up at Night gloomily. "That was mean."

Roberto quickly stood up and knelt at Hayden's side. "I have known Hayden for almost three years and have never wanted to pick her up and throw her to the ground with such violence!"

Arthur followed Roberto's lead and knelt next to her as well. "I have known Hayden for almost a _whole _week and have never wanted to pick her up and throw her to the ground with such violence, either!"

Hayden smiled at Arthur. Then, she turned to Roberto and snapped, "Go fuck yourself."

"W…what?!" Roberto felt like crying. Stood up and marched to the corner, beginning to sniffle. Feliciano ran to and comforted him. He was starting to feel an Italian bond between them. How romantic.

"It's a-okay, Roberto," he lied, "There's-a nothing wrong. I'm sure Hayden would still like to be your friend."

Roberto sat on his butt with his knees to his chest. Folded his head down. "No, you're wrong. Hayden only cares about that stupid Arthur now. She doesn't want to be my friend. Or my girlfriend. Or anything."

"But… uh…"

"I've known her for so long. I've been pursuing her for so long."

"How did you pursue her?"

Roberto sighed glumly. "The normal ways. Telling her awkward stories about my family. Making fun of her race. (Hayden's half-Filipina, by the way. I thought you should know.) Stealing her homework answers. Making her fall down."

Feliciano tilted his head to the side. "That-a isn't nice. We Italians ought to be nice to the girls we like."

"I'm not nice?" Roberto looked up at Feliciano with glossy eyes.

Feliciano melted. "_Non! Non!_ You are-a very, very nice to girls."

"That's what I thought. Then, why isn't Hayden noticing me?"

"Did-a she notice you before? At school?"

Roberto shrugged. "Well, yeah… but Hayden obsesses over every guy she becomes aquatinted to… and one girl. I feel like… just another guy for her…"

"But now…"

"But now!" Roberto clenched his fists, "Hayden doesn't care about anyone except that stupid British man! Stupid Europeans with their stupid accents!"

"I'm-a European…"

Roberto ignored him. "She isn't obsessed with you… or Ludwig… or Alfred. It's only Arthur! Not me! What is wrong with this stupid world? I know now that Hayden never liked me. She only pretended… for my sake. Damn that manipulative bitch!"

"Roberto! That-a wasn't nice."

"Hayden is the not nice one! She's playing with my feelings!" And he burst into tears like a real man.

Why are Hayden's "guys" always bursting into tears? Must say something about her…

"It's okay, my new Italian friend," Feliciano said, putting his arm around him lovingly.

Then, he took Roberto's face gently by the cheeks. Roberto's froze. _What is Feliciano doing? _Feliciano made sure no-one across the room was watching. (Nobody was). And kissed him delicately on the lips. Roberto's eyes grew wide in alarm. His thought process: _Mamma mia! A male is kissing me!... This is so weird… He _does_ smell like tomatoes… I like tomatoes… He's not _that _manly anyway… As long as Hayden doesn't see… Why the hell is he kissing me for so long? _

Roberto gave into it and… I guess this is how you put it… closed his eyes and kissed back.

It felt so wrong. It felt so right. Don't mean he's in love… um… today. Roberto kissed a boy. And… yes… he liked it.

My! That was awkward to write!

Later that day, right before they all settled down to sleep!

"Ve never officially decided who vas sleeping vhere!" Ludwig proclaimed.

"Aw~!" Nevelyn whined, "Ludwig we're happy just the way it is!" Francis wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him.

"Still!" Ludwig said, "I vill not have any nonsense in mein beds!"

"Nonsense in bed?" Nevelyn squealed, letting Francis touch her, "Whatever do you mean?"

Night rolled her eyes and muttered, "Slut."

Nevelyn gave Night a death glare. "What did you call me, bitch?"

Night gave her an innocent look. "Who? Me?"

"Zat is enough, Nevelyn, Blythe!" Ludwig shouted, "Here is how I arranged this! There are ten beds and eighteen people…"

"I think Kiku and Yao should sleep together," Ivan said excitedly, "They are both small enough to fit. I, of course, will watch."

Yao looked up at Ivan, startled. "You… you… perv!"

"No!" Ludwig interfered, "I will hear reasonable requests only."

"Nevelyn and I will share a bed, of course," Francis said.

"Ja, ja," Ludwig said dismissively, "I could predict that…"

"Ludwig?" Feliciano asked meekly, "Would you-a like to share a bed with me?"

Ludwig's face turned red. "V…vith you? Vell… I suppose that… that is… that is fine."

Feliciano nudged Roberto and nodded.

Roberto turned to Hayden happily. "Hayden? Would you… uh… like to share a bed with me? Huh, Hayden?"

"What the hell, you pig!" Hayden slapped Roberto.

Arthur took this as his cue to make Roberto feel crappy. "Denny? Would you like the honor of sharing a bed with me?" He knelt onto one knee and kissed her hand lightly.

Hayden blushed. "With you? Oh… okay. If you don't mind."

Arthur gave Roberto an evil smirk.

Night face distorted. _She would rather sleep with Arthur than me? What is wrong with Hayden? She's acting straight! This is so unlike her. Time to make her guilty. _She grabbed Yao by the wrist. "You're sleeping with me, Yao."

"I… I is? Well, okay."

Night looked triumphantly at Hayden, but she was close to Arthur, speaking in his ear quietly. She wasn't paying attention to Night at all.

"Hollyn will sleep with me, dudes!" Alfred announced.

"W…what?" Hollyn stammered, "B… but… I want to save my body for Jesus…"

"Hollyn, dudette!" Alfred laughed, "I'm not gonna rape you or anything. I thought you would be happy to have a hero like me in bed with you."

"I guess it's okay then."

"V…v…vell," Ludwig stuttered, "This is good. I vill…" he swallowed, "Share a bed vith Feliciano. Hayden vill share vith Arthur. Francis vill share vith Francis. Hollyn vill share vith Alfred. Yao vill share vith Night. Then, Konstantin can have a bed. Roberto can have one. Wonho can have one. And Gilbert vill have one. I assume Stevie and Kiku vill not mind sleeping on the floor."

"Vhat… I mean… _w_hat aboot me?" Matthew asked quietly.

Ludwig ignored him. Matthew decided to sleep on the floor as well.

Just as everyone began to retreat, Francis put his lips to Nevelyn's ear and whispered, "We can't do anything here will all these people. Meet me in the bedroom down the hall and to the right at midnight."

Nevelyn giggled and gave him a sexy little salute. "Sir, yes, sir."

Hollyn was happy in bed with Alfred. Even though he was fat enough to take up the whole space…. and he smelled bad… and he snored very loudly. It was all very strange. But, the warmth from his body made her feel comfortable. She was staring at the ceiling, thinking about all this, when Alfred rolled over in his sleep and curled up closer to her with a dream-induced smile. He was so cute. She touched his cheek with the back of her hand. She never loved anyone more.

Roberto was sitting up in his bed watching Hayden sleeping and mumbled poetry to himself. "She's so awkward-looking in the most beautiful way. I mean, who knew Hayden sleeps with her mouth open? I mean, that's so hot. I wish I could see what she is dreaming. You know, maybe not." All he wanted to do was push Arthur out of bed and take his place next to her. But, he knew that would end badly for everyone.

Konstantin, who was the next bed over, noticed his silhouette sitting up in bed and sighed. _Roberto's stalking Hayden again. Damn, Roberto really needs to get a life before he gets arrested or something. _Konstantin awkwardly flopped over and tried to fall asleep.

Nevelyn's eyes were wide open and focused intently on the ceiling. She just realized her phone wouldn't turn on again, and she had no watch. How would she know when it is midnight?

Then, it enlightened her. She could wait until Francis left, and then she could follow him.

After sixty-nine minutes, Francis silently slithered out of bed and shuffled out of the room. Every day I'm shuffling.

Nevelyn waited for a few minutes, found her drugstore bag, did her hair and makeup in the pitch dark, and followed him as planned.

Unknown to her, Roberto was watching and wondering. _What would Francis and Nevelyn sneak out of the fortress late at night to do? They are so mysterious. It would suck if that _Thing _were to attack them now of all times. Oh, well. Back to stalking Hayden… _he turned to sentry Hayden some more as she mumbled in her sleep: "Ar… Arthur… can I… can I see your teabags?" 

Roberto smiled. _Hayden really likes tea. _

Nevelyn scuffled down the hallway and found the appropriate bedroom door. The room behind the door was dark except a single oil lamp flickering in the far back wall.

The room smelled of… something beautiful… roses.

She looked around excitedly. A path of petals led to the large bed. And reclining on the bed was a naked Francis with a red rose conveniently censoring his Eiffel Tower and surrounding area. His pale skin. The crap ton of hair on his chest. His long, oily blond hair. He was so beautiful. At least in Nevelyn's eyes.

He winked at her. "_Baise-moi, mon amour_."

"Excuse you."

"Are you ready for me, _bébé_?"

"Are _you _ready for _me_?"

Francis chuckled. "Let me see if I am…"

Nevelyn approached the bed, letting her clothes peel off her body and fall to the floor.

I'm not about to turn this book into a porno, okay? So, for the time being, let's do a little bit of math. Nevelyn just turned seventeen, and Francis is twenty-six. Well, I guess no math was really needed. I just felt like stating that fact.

Sixty-nine minutes later, Nevelyn sat on the bed, satisfied. Francis was sleeping like a real gentleman. She was pulling her shirt back on over her shoulders. That was the most fun she had ever had with a male. Now, of course, Nevelyn wasn't the Virgin Mary, so it meant a lot to say Francis was the best she'd ever had sex with.

She leaned over Francis and let her tongue play with his ear a little before hissing, "I'm going back now, Francis. Thank you so much."

He smiled in his sleep and muttered, "Oui, oui, sexy."

"I love you."

"You, too… Arthur."

"_Arthur_?"

Francis's eyes opened. "Did I say 'Arthur?' I meant 'Nevelyn'"

"Oh. Okay, then."

Nevelyn stood up and marched out of the room. It was so much darker out in the hallway than it was before. What if that monster appears again? She was unarmed and so tired. If he did, she'd definitely be killed.

She looked around carefully as she padded barefoot down the hall, reaching out in front of her to make sure she wouldn't run straight into a wall. But in the dark, she couldn't see the conveniently placed rust nail pointing upwards just in front of her.

"FUCK!"

Roberto, who was still awake, sat up in alarm. "Nevelyn?" He jumped out of bed and dashed out of the room.

A few yards down the hall was Nevelyn, lying on the ground, clutching her wounded foot.

"Nevelyn!" Roberto cried, "What happened to you?"

"I fucking stepped on that fucking nail."

Francis appeared next to him. "Nevey! Are you alright, honey?"

"I'm not fucking alright. I got a fucking nail in my foot."

Roberto kneeled next to her. "Francis? Can you… can you help me carry her back to the fortress?"

"I can fucking walk by myself, Goddamn butt fucker!"

Roberto sighed, annoyed. "If you put pressure on your foot, it won't help anyone." He nudged Francis, and they attempted to pick her up.

Not surprisingly, she was light.

"What was she doing out this late?" Roberto asked Francis.

"We… we… er…"

"Y'all had sex in another room?"

"Oui."

"I couldn't expect any less from either you or Nevelyn."

"Touché."

Once in the fortress, they dropped Nevelyn down on her then-abandoned bed. This woke everyone else up.

"What's wrong?" Hayden asked angrily, sitting up.

"Nevelyn's got a nail stuck in her foot," Roberto explained.

Hayden got out of bed quickly and approached Nevelyn. "Are you kidding? How did this happen? What the hell?"

She squinted to see through the dark and look at her foot. There was blood all over. Hayden wanted to puke, but she sucked it up for the sake of looking like a smart ass. "It doesn't seem to be that bad of a wound… but… it looks strange. I will need to carefully remove the nail and study it for any possible bacterium present, such as _Clostridium tetani, _which is probable. Once I get this bandaged up, you shouldn't walk on this foot for a while, okay?"

"That's what _I _said," Roberto informed.

Hayden ignored him. "As I was saying, I need something to use as bandages. Someone get me something!"

Nobody listened to her. Half of the others had already fallen back asleep after seeing the monster had not actually returned.

Roberto listened though. He ran around and looked through all the cabinets until he found a convenient first-aid kit. But Arthur had already torn up some bed sheets to make some bandages, and Hayden was already using them.

"Guess you don't need me," Roberto teased.

Hayden shrugged and gave him a sneer. "Guess not."

Nevelyn was crying during all of this, and Francis was holding onto her hands, whispering, "Just think of all the fun we just had together. I swear, I've never slept with anyone better."

At that Arthur, who was assisting Hayden with her makeshift surgery, looked up angrily. "Are you saying Nevelyn is a better lover than _I_ am, Francis?"

Hayden set Nevelyn's foot down. "Arthur?! You've _slept_ with a _man_?"

Arthur blushed, but it was too dark to see him. "N… no way, sweetie…"

Hayden smiled. "Because I'm totally cool with that."

His eyes widened. "You… you are." She nodded, and he took a moment to ponder this.

Hayden quickly finished with Nevelyn's foot and went back to sleep, muting out the sounds of Nevelyn's cries.

"It hurts! It fucking hurts! Does no-one care?"

Yeah. No-one cared.

Through Nevelyn's operation, Hollyn slept. Nothing could wake her up. She was also dreaming. You see, Hollyn is an overactive dreamer. When she slept, she dreamt, and when she dreamt, she _really _dreamt.

For example, that night, she was dreaming she was back in her bedroom, lying down, watching something Japanese and gory and illegal in thirty-five countries. Suddenly, she heard a cry coming from her window. Quickly, she went to the window to see Hayden magically climbing up the side of her two-story house to reach her bedroom. Hayden had a demented smile as she pulled herself through the window. Hollyn screamed and hid in her bathroom. When she finally had the nerve to leave her hidey-hole, Hayden was gone.

Then Hollyn woke up and got out of bed. Everyone except Hayden, Roberto, Nevelyn, Francis, and Arthur was moving around the room, making breakfast and setting the table.

Hollyn moved over to Nevelyn's bed. She was sleeping with Francis's arm around her. Blood was all over them and the bed. Hollyn shrugged. "Looks like it someone's time of the month." Then, she moved on to the kitchen to find something to eat.

Hayden woke up just as Arthur woke up. How romantic.

"Good morning, sweetheart," he greeted as he kissed her on the forehead lovingly.

She smiled. Then, she realized her hands and body were covered in blood. Her eyes widened in alarm. "Oh, God! Not again! Did I _kill _someone last night?"

He chuckled. "No, silly. Don't you remember? Nevelyn's foot?"

"Oh… right." Hayden got out of bed and approached Nevelyn to check on her little patient.

Her foot was swollen, and the bandages were worn.

"Damn," Hayden sighed, "Now I have to change them."

Arthur appeared next to her. "Don't worry about it. I'm happy to do it for you. I don't think you should be changing bandages like that anyway…" he reached for Nevelyn's foot.

"No!" Hayden protested, "I'm a strong and powerful woman! I can change them if I want to!" She ripped off the bandages roughly.

This woke Nevelyn up immediately. "FOOT RAPE!" she shrieked. She sat up to see a wide-eyed Hayden standing at the foot of her bed holding a bloodstained bed sheet.

"Hush now… you know it's not rape if you like it," Francis mumbled in his sleep after Nevelyn's scream. (Author's note: Rape is a serious crime. I'm very sorry I throw it around so lightly in this story.)

Hayden smiled. "How are you feeling this morning, sunshine?"

"My foot hurts like a bitch."

"Understandably. The wound looks infected."

Nevelyn squealed. "Infected? Am I going to die?"

"I thought you already died…" Arthur said matter-of-factly, "… back there in the basement."

Nevelyn's face turned red. "N… no."

"Well, that doesn't really matter, now does it?" Hayden said dismissively, "If you continue with this infection, it will definitely grow. I'm not sure what to do… we really need to get you some medical attention."

"But… isn't that impossible?" Nevelyn said, blinking, "I mean, because we're stuck in this dumbass mansion?"

"Exactly."

"So… what does that mean exactly?"

Hayden continued to wrap up the injured foot. "Unless we discover a way to get rid of your infection, it will grow."

"And…"

"It will grow."

"And?"

Hayden turned away. "If the infection reaches your vital organs, you… you could..."

"Die? I'm going to die?"

"Unless we discover a way to get rid of your infection."

"Can't you… can't you just fucking amutate it or something?"

Hayden rolled her eyes. "No, _baka_! If you got an infection from a nail on the bottom of your foot. What do you think would happen if we tried to _amp_utate it? It's illogical to amputate a limb without proper medical instruction and assistance. You'll just get a worse infection than this one and die more quickly."

"So…" Nevelyn began to cry, "No matter what… I'm going to die?"

"No," Hayden continued hurriedly, "That's not true. There's always the likely possibility that this particular infection won't spread too far."

"Like… what percentage?"

"I'm just ungodly intelligent! Not a doctor! I don't know! Honestly, I'm making about half of all this up!"

Nevelyn's face fell. "Oh."

Hayden finished with Nevelyn's foot. "I want you to stay in bed, okay? That way you won't get too much more bacterium in the wound somehow. These aren't the greatest bandages anyway."

Nevelyn nodded.

Francis woke up. Yes, he was asleep the whole time.

"'Ello, _mon amour_," he yawned. By the way, you know how Francis always smelled bad during the day? Imagine how he'd smell in the morning…

Nevelyn took his face in her hands despite this. "'Ello to you, Francis."

He chuckled lightly. "I had so much fun last night. Did you?"

"_Did _I?" the romantic smile washed off Nevelyn's face. "Hell no!" she screamed, "I got a fucking nail in my foot!"

Francis was taken aback. "_Pardon_! I was just making conversation." He paused. Nevelyn was still mad at him. "You have big tits."

Nevelyn's dreamy smile returned. "Oh, really? Well… you have a big…" She looked up at Hayden and Arthur who were standing there, watching in disgust.

_Nevelyn's such a slut. I'd never do anything like this with Arthur. She is so easy. She's always been so easy. What a whore. _Hayden wanted to gag.

_Nevelyn has no idea what real love with Francis is like. Mmmm… _Memories of Francis and him returned. Arthur wanted to masturbate. (Yes, I said it.) He cleared his throat. "E… excuse me. I… I need to take a shower now." He walked away abruptly.

(At this time, I, the author, would like to speak with those reading who do not know me personally. Though I do not hate FrUK, I ship USUK. I've always shipped USUK. I will never stop shipping USUK. I know that. My friends know that. Ask anyone. But, in this story, I will try my hardest to ship both. I know so far I've only really shipped FrUK… and it hurts me too. Expect more USUK in future chapters. Because I fucking **love** USUK. Thank you for your patience. Back to the story!)

Nevelyn giggled and gestured at Hayden. "Why don't you join him, Hayden dear?"

Hayden's face turned red. "No way! I'm hungry. I… I need to find something to eat."

Francis snickered. "Oh, _mon fille bête, _Arthur isn't enough for you?"

Hayden stomped her foot in complete revulsion. "I'm going to find Night." And she ran off.

And found Night hoarding food in the kitchen. Also in the kitchen was Alfred, preparing a huge All-American breakfast for everyone: cheese-and-butter-and-heart-disease omelets, not-Canadian pancakes, not-Canadian bacon, not-German breakfast sausages, a box of powdered doughnuts that just magically appeared, and obesity-and-diabetes Crappuccinos for everyone.

"Hey, Night…" she said disgustedly, "How can you _eat _all that?"

Night smiled as she swallowed a doughnut whole. Then, she started to choke. Hayden had to perform the Heimlich before Night could say, "How can you not?"

"It's just that…"

Night rolled her eyes. "Are you only here to nag me, Hayden?"

Hayden's eyes grew wide. "No! No! No! I'm just concerned for you, Night." Hayden put her head on Night's shoulder. "You mean the world to me."

"Oh… good to hear." She swallowed some more food. At least she managed not to choke.

Hayden stared at her as she ate, whispering, "Watch Night insert the fatty breakfast sausage in her mouth. Bite. Chew, chew, chew. Swallow. Will Night take another bite? Oh, yes! She again inserts the…"

Night set her sausage down. "Hey, Hayden?"

Hayden clapped her hands together. "Hey, Hayden! That's funny! Get it? _Hey, Hay_den? Ha!"

Night flipped her bangs over her eyes. "Not that funny, loser. Shut up now, okay?"

Hayden nodded happily. "Yes, ma'am."

Meanwhile! Across the room, in the corner, Roberto was being emo. Cutting

His bare face with his razor. "I… I have facial hair," Roberto told himself determinedly, "I am a man, just like Arthur. _Men_ have facial hair!"

Feliciano, who was just pestering Ludwig, noticed him. Walked over to him. "What are you doing there, Roberto?"

Roberto was angry. "I'm… I'm _shav_ing!"

"You-a don't have any…"

"Don't say it!"

"Shouldn't you-a have a mirror at least?"

"I don't need a mirror! I'm a man! Men don't need mirrors!"

"Shouldn't you-a have cream or something at least?"

"I don't need shaving cream! I'm a man! Men don't need shaving cream!"

"Your-a face-a is-a bleeding-a."

"I know! All men have bleeding faces."

Feliciano sat down next to Roberto. "You know… you-a never asked about that kiss."

"Oh God… did that really happen? I thought I was just… dreaming or something."

Feliciano giggled. "No! I-a really kissed you."

Roberto was beginning to feel faint from a lack of blood. "Then why did you do it?"

Feliciano smiled and rocked back and forth childishly. "I-a don't really know. I just thought, you looked sad and… you _are _really nice and…"

Roberto's face turned red. And not just because of all the blood. "I'm sorry to say, Feliciano. I think I'm straight."

Feliciano raised an eyebrow. "Think?"

"Know."

"Oh. Well, that's-a okay. Not a problem really."

"Okay. But… well… maybe it'd make Hayden jealous or something. So, um… if you ever want to… you know… kiss me again… I'm cool with that." Roberto continued to permanently disfigure his face. Then, he realized Feliciano was still there. "What's that curl that comes out of your hair? Does it do anything special?"

"Well… uh…"

Roberto pulled it. "Did that hurt?"

Feliciano leaned back against a wall, blushing. "Oh, Roberto…" he moaned.

Roberto took this as his cue to leave.

"I wonder what we are going to do today," Alfred asked Hollyn in the kitchen, "Probably pointless wander around again. But, who cares? I'm the hero."

"I found something interesting on the fourth floor yesterday," Hollyn said, thinking of Mr. Sushi, "Do you think we could go back and see it?"

"Are you talking about that sushi dude?"

"Uh-huh!"

Alfred smiled. "You wanna check it out together? Maybe I could get it out of the wall for you. I _am _the hero yo!"

"Cool!" Hollyn squealed, "But do you mean without the others? Isn't that a little bit dangerous?"

"Who cares? My middle name is Dangerous!"

"Is it? That's a cool middle name! What _is _your full name?"

Alfred cleared his throat heroically. "Alfred F. Jones."

"Dangerous begins with _D _not _F_."

"Really? I never realized..."

"What's your _real_ middle name?"

Alfred awkwardly scratched behind his neck. "If you Google it like the author of this story did, you'd find a lot of answers: Franklin, Foster, Fuck..."

Hollyn squeaked. "That's a naughty word. But, what is it really?"

"Freedom. Because I'm the hero, and I'm big on freedom yo."

"Oh. That's cute."

"What's _your_ middle name?"

Hollyn shrugged. "Laura."

"That's really pretty."

"Oh? Thank you."

Alfred pushed a lock of Hollyn's hair out of her face and over her ear. "_You're _really pretty."

This made Hollyn feel weird. She hates it when people touch her hair. "Oh. Thank you. So are you, I guess." Then, she realized that was the wrong thing to say. "I mean… you're handsome."

Alfred smiled. "I am, aren't I?" Then, he put his lips close to Hollyn's ear. "Let's go now before anyone realizes we're gone… yo." He took her by the hand, and they snuck out of the fortress, heading upstairs.

Well, stating the obvious, Alfred isn't that good at _sneaking _anyway. So of course, everyone watched them leave.

Once they were gone, Yao looked around. "Where do you think they to go?"

Francis shrugged. Yeah, he was still being playful in bed with Nevelyn without being playful in bed with Nevelyn. "Probably to another room to have sex."

"No way!" Night protested, "Hollyn's a little angel. She'd never have sex like that before marriage…"

Francis laughed. "Honhonhon. Even little angels can play naughty sometimes." Right after he said that, appropriately, Arthur made an appearance. Francis continued, "Am I right, Artie?"

"I don't bloody know what you are talking about, frog!"

This made Francis honhonhon some more.

"Back to the original topic," Night said, "I don't think Hollyn would be having sex with Alfred. Maybe they're just…"

"To take a stroll?" Yao supplied.

Night nodded. "Yeah. Just a stroll."

And, in all honesty, that's exactly what they were doing. To take a stroll.

Alfred was holding Hollyn's hand, which made her happy, leading her up the fourth floor to find Mr. Sushi (my new name for him).

Meanwhile, they made awkward small talk.

"Were seeing anyone before you came here?" Alfred asked her.

This made Hollyn burst out laughing. "Like a boyfriend? Heck no!"

"Why is that so funny?"

"I… I just never wanted to have a boyfriend until…"

"Until?"

"Until now."

Alfred smiled. "You mean, now that you met a hero like me? Cuz that's, like, totally cool."

"The truth is, back at Holy, All-Mighty, Immaculate Cross of Israel Catholic High School for Practicing Christians, none of the guys really were… like you. They were either too popular or…"

"Yo! I'm _so _popular! I'm the hero!"

"… too obnoxious or too, I don't know, stupid? Were you seeing anyone before you met me?"

Alfred shrugged. "I've been off and on with certain people… I mean, one day it's Arthur, the next it's Kiku, the next it's Francis, or…"

Hollyn stopped walking. "Wait! All those men back there? You've, like, dated them?"

Alfred smiled mischievously. "More than dated, sweetheart."

Her mouth hung open. "Does that mean… you're… you're…" she lowered her voice, "Homosexual?"

"I don't know what that means. Too many letters."

Hollyn shook her head and lowered her voice even more. "Gay?"

Alfred laughed. "Ahaha! Hell no! Gay? I'm American. Americans ain't gay!"

"When I say," she lowered her voice again, "'gay'… I do not mean stupid or something. I mean… I don't know another word for when someone likes people of the same gender… but… um…"

Alfred stopped laughing. "Wait! You mean… gay as in I like other dudes. Well, honestly, it's open to interpretation yo. But, don't think that I don't like you cuz you're a dudette… cuz I totally do, Hollyn."

Hollyn nodded, somehow satisfied. They continued to walk in silence. Until, Hollyn stopped again. "Wait! You said you did more than date Arthur. Isn't Arthur your older brother?"

Alfred considered this, trying to make his relationship with Arthur seem like it was not really incest. "Um… I'm not _really _Arthur's bro. He just found me when I was Baby Alfred and decided to make me his brother. We ain't related, really."

"Oh. You have weird friends." They kept walking.

"Well, so do you," Alfred said sixty-nine seconds later, "I mean, Arthur's chick is all crazy about that girl who sorta looks like a dude."

"That's a long story."

"Tell me."

"I don't think Hayden would like it if…"

"Tell me!" Alfred whined, "You can't just start and story and not finish it! Please!"

Hollyn shook her head. "Sorry. Perhaps I'll tell you next chapter."

"Oh… okay."

They arrived at their destination.

"Yea!" Hollyn squealed running to the corner of the room, "Mr. Sushi Roll is still here. Here, try and pull him out of the wall."

"Yeah! I'm the hero!" Alfred grabbed onto Mr. Sushi Roll and pulled. No luck. He continued to pull, but Mr. Sushi was stuck in the wall for sure. "I'm sorry, Hollyn," he said sadly, "Obviously this sushi roll is too stupid to understand that I'm the hero!"

Mr. Sushi opened his little sushi mouth and bit Alfred's hand.

Alfred squealed. "Stupid sushi!" He tried to kick him, but Hollyn held him back.

"Don't hurt my new friend please. I love Mr. Sushi!"

Alfred turned to her. "Alright. For you. Okay?"

Hollyn smiled and nodded. Then, Alfred put his hands gently on Hollyn's cheeks… on her face, sick freak. And pulled her close to him. And kissed her crudely on the mouth. Then, he reached around her body and held her tight.

Finally, Alfred pulled away from her and whispered, "I love you, Hollyn." (cue America fangirls screaming and threatening to kill Hollyn)

Her eyes widened. This was a first. "And… and I love you, too." She paused. "Alfred Freedom Jones."

Alfred nodded. "So… um… you're still sure about what you said earlier about saving your body for Jesus?"

Hollyn slapped him across the face.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 12- Ivan Has Cold Thighs

While Hollyn and Alfred were having a moment, ruining the innocence of a poor on-looking sushi roll, Nevelyn was, like, totally being a real bitch. OMG. Fer reels, yall.

Francis was trying to leave her in the most polite, European way possible in order to retrieve food, but she wouldn't hear of it.

"I swear, Nevelyn! I'm 'ungry!"

Nevelyn shook her head angrily. "No! No! No! You just want to abandon me! If you leave, you can't come back!"

"I've been with you for so long! Two minutes to get some food isn't too bad!"

"I hope I die when you're gone. Then you'll be sorry!"

Francis rolled his eyes. "_Mon Dieu_! _Un tel casse-pied!_" he muttered under his breath as he got out of her bed and travelled to the kitchen.

Nevelyn rolled around awkwardly though her foot was propped up on a pillow at the end of the bed. It was sad to watch.

Hayden was in an armchair reading _Fifty Shades of Grey _for a third time. It truly was a delightful read.

Meanwhile, Arthur was making her some hot tea. She was precise when it came to the tea she drank. That's something he adored about her. When he asked her if she wanted any, she quickly replied, "Yes. Straight, organic black tea. I can't stand any of that herbal crap. Use leaves. Not bags. Bags suppress the true, strong flavor. A teaspoon of leaves for each person plus one. Be sure the water had been boiling for over a minute before you pour it in the teapot. Oh, and use bottled water. I can't drink that shit from the tap. Before you put the lid on the teapot, stir the tea once, counterclockwise, with the handle part of a spoon. Steep the tea—that's how you say it, right?—for no more than thirteen minutes but no less than eight. I honestly prefer not having melk or cream in my tea, alright? Three-quarters teaspoon of pure cane sugar or one teaspoon of all-natural honey is good enough for me. Understand? Must I repeat myself?"

Arthur shook his head, smiling dreamily. He was in love.

In true stalker fashion, Roberto watched Arthur make the tea. It just occurred to him that, if he started acting more like Arthur only better, Hayden might like him more.

He watched everything Arthur did as he made the tea. And he took notes. What a freak, right? "So this is how Hayden likes her tea… This will come in handy."

As Arthur waited for the tea to steep, Roberto approached Hayden hopefully.

"How is that book, Hayden? It looks good."

She looked up irritably. "Roberto! I was at a hot part. You just ruined it."

Roberto blushed. "Oh! I'm sorry. I'll go now then!"

Hayden closed her eyes and shook her head. "No… no. You can't fix it now. What did you come here to say?"

"Well… I was hoping you'd… you know… like to… I don't know how to put it."

Hayden smiled very, very small. "Just say what you mean. I hate it when people aren't direct."

Roberto laughed nervously. "In that case, I came here to tell you… that… I know a lot more about you than Arthur does. I even know how you like your tea made. You had to tell Arthur. I don't need to be told."

Hayden smirked. "Oh really?"

"Yeah! Listen! You like black tea leaves. Three teaspoons in a teapot. Bottled water at a strong boil. Stirring the pot one time. I know all these things."

The smirk faded away. "That's not how I like my tea made, _baka_."

"Then… how do you…?"

"I like it when a sexy European makes it."

Roberto's face fell. "Oh. Of course." Then, it occurred to him. "Well!" he snapped triumphantly, "I also came to tell you that it turns out that I'm gay."

That was the last thing Hayden expected him to say. "You're _what_?"

"I… I got a boyfriend, too!"

"Oh really?"

"Really!" Roberto stomped over to Feliciano who was conversing with Ludwig. Grabbed him by the face. And kissed him hard on the mouth. Fun fact! This was the first time Roberto kissed anyone like that… I mean, other than his Hayden Pillow. (JK, that'd be weird.)

Everyone looked up and watched, shocked. Ludwig grew red and abruptly walked out of the fortress.

"Oh, Roberto!" Feliciano managed to cry... sorta into his mouth. "Ludwig left…"

"Shut up… I'm so sorry about this," Roberto whispered into Feliciano's mouth.

Hayden watched with wide eyes in both confusion and desire. She really has weird likes. Perhaps, it wouldn't be too bad for her to feel something towards Roberto now…

But Arthur stepped in and ruined it for him. He was carrying her teacup. "Here, sweetie. I hope you like it. Um… do you know why Roberto's kissing Feli?"

"I'm not really sure." She looked up at him. He was perfect. His tousled, rebellious blond hair. Thick eyebrows. His green eyes… that seem to see exactly what she is dreaming. His lips. So pale. His smile. Even though his teeth left much to be desired. At least, he isn't like Roberto and his buck teeth. Even Arthur's clothes. Color matching his eyes. His long arms. Skinny fingers. Pale skin. Even his name… Arthur. Gawd, he was, like, _so _smexy. "I…"

"I made some tea for me, too. Would you mind if I sit with you?"

"Oh… not at all." He sat on the arm of her chair and sipped his own tea, reading over her shoulder. Even though he's read _Fifty Shades _so many times before.

Once he managed to push Roberto the Leech off his mouth, he ran out of the fortress, screaming for Ludwig.

Roberto looked victoriously at Hayden. She was curled up with Arthur, seeping tea and looking happy. And now Feliciano was probably mad at him for making Ludwig leave. What a disaster.

He went to his bed from the night before and cried under the covers.

Through all of this, Stevie and Ivan were sitting together and having a productive conversation about their interests.

"I like butterflies." Stevie gave Ivan a huge smile.

"Oo! Really? I like sunflowers!"

"I like sunflowers, too. I also like Dragon Ball Z and sticker books."

"I love stickers! I also like nuclear meltdowns and the Kremlin."

Stevie smiled. She wasn't really sure about what either of those were.

Ivan continued, "So… Stevie. Where were you born?"

Stevie ignored the awkward abruptness of the question. "I was born in a hospital in the city. Where else? Where were _you _born?"

"A factory."

"Oh… Factories are fun."

"They _are_. I love factories."

"I have boobies."

"I know. I see them."

"That's good. At least now you know I'm a girl, right?"

"Right!"

Stevie smiled. She moved toward him. "Are _yooou _ a _boooy_?"

"A boy? No… I'm a man."

"Can I see?"

Ivan's face grew red. "Oh? You want to see me as a man?"

"Do youhave cold thighs?"

Ivan smiled. Reached into his pants to feel his thighs and said triumphantly, "Yes! Surprisingly, they are very cold indeed!"

Feliciano found Ludwig in the first story study. He was sitting in a chair against the wall with his forearms leaning on his not-cold thighs. His head was down.

"What's-a wrong, Germany?" Feliciano asked him happily.

Ludwig looked at him angrily. "Nothing," his voice cracked. "Nothing."

"I'm-a so, so sorry. I didn't think Roberto would ever…"

"Honestly, Italy. There isn't a problem. Go avay."

Feliciano giggled. "Ve~ You know I-a can't do that, Ludwig. We're an alliance!"

Ludwig put his head back down. "Ja. You and Roberto are the alliance. And he isn't even a country… so that makes no sense."

Feliciano clapped his hands together. "Haha! Germany makes-a no sense."

Ludwig shook his head. "I… Ve promised that day, remember? Ve promised that ve vould never break our friendship. But… you vere just… you vere just… kissing… Roberto… and…"

"No! Roberto was kissing me! I-a wasn't kissing him. And… anyway, I… I-a will always love you more than him."

"But you vill still love him…"

"No. No way. I… love you the most, Germany."

Ludwig smiled. It was a terribly ugly sight. He hid his face. "And… I love you, too, Italy."

"So… can I… can I-a kiss you, Germany?"

Ludwig looked up, speechless, blushing furiously. "Vell… vell…"

Feliciano nodded. Took Ludwig gently behind the neck. He pulled Ludwig's face very close to his. They stayed there for a few moments. Feeling each other's warmth. Ludwig quit blushing and began to turn pale. Feliciano was really there… and he was, for the first time ever, the one in control. Ludwig kissed him delicately on the lips, eyes closed.

Feliciano closed his eyes as well. Accepted happily.

Finally, Feliciano pulled away. His face grew dark somehow. "No matter what, Germany. I will get you out of the mansion. And everyone else. It's my job."

"_Your _job?" Ludwig sputtered, "Vhy is it _your _job? It is my job as vell. It is everyvone's job."

"No," Feliciano replied firmly, "Even if I have to kill everyone in-a my way. I WILL get at least YOU out. No matter what."

"But…"  
"I got you… and especially Japan and Prussia… into this mess. I WILL get all of you out. And-a nobody… _nobody _can stop me."

Then, Feliciano put his head down and burst into tears.

Ludwig touched Feliciano's cheek with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry, Ita."

Feliciano nodded glumly. "Ve~"

"I vill vork vith you, Italy… dear. I vill help you if you think it's all your responsibility. I'll be vith you. By your side." He put his gloved finger under Feliciano's chin. "Italy?"

Feliciano looked up. "Sì?"

"You have to promise me something, Italy. Never think you're alone in this fight. Because you are not. You have friends. You have… you have me."

Feliciano smiled. "Sir, yes, sir."

Ludwig melted. "Oh… Italy." He leaned in and kissed him again on the mouth. Feliciano's thought process: _Oh, Germany…. If only you knew… _

"Let's go now," Feliciano said after a few moments, "I don't want the others to worry about us."

Ludwig was still shocked from the kiss. "I agree. Let's go."

They left the study to find… guess who… that fucking monster standing right in the doorway with a sneer.

Feliciano shrieked in surprise.

"Perhaps he saw us," Ludwig muttered.

"You think?" Feliciano turned to the monster with questioning eyes.

The monster formed a circle with his fingers on one hand and proceeded to pull a three fingers from his other hand back and forth through the circle. He started to laugh. Some monsters just don't have any manners!

Ludwig's face grew red, and he turned away, embarrassed. "I think so."

"Well... aren't you going to take out your whip and…?"

"Ja, ja. Just give me a moment."

The monster doesn't give moments, stupid. So, yeah. The monster knocked Ludwig down against the wall.

"Germany!" Feliciano squeaked.

Ludwig looked at Feliciano sadly and coughed. "Italy... run. I can… fight him alone."

"Never! We're an alliance! You-a said so yourself. So… so," Feliciano worked his hardest to sound harsh, "Shut up and get your whip out!"

Ludwig chuckled. _Feliciano is so cute when he tries to sound harsh._ He took his whip out and attacked the monster. Torture Lv. 10. So sadistic.

Feliciano took out the book he has been carrying for a suspicious reason you, the reader, shouldn't know yet. He pulled a Hayden. (i.e. he hit the monster with his book in vain.)

"Do you have anything else to fight vith?"

"W… well…"

"Forget it, I can do this myself," Ludwig sighed. He whipped the monster the way he did towards the dogs he trained and the girls he kidnapped.

The monster recoiled a bit. He isn't into that kind of stuff.

"Get ready to die, you bastard!"

The monster rolled his eyes, picked Feliciano up easily, and pitched him down the hall.

"Yowie!" Feliciano shrieked. Haha, get it? Yaoi?

"Itaallyy!" Ludwig shouted, and then he was knocked down by that stupid monster again.

Once he was on the ground, the monster kicked Ludwig across the floor. He hit his head squarely against the wall's molding. Knocked out.

Feliciano saw this and scrambled to his feet. Ran to him. "Luffie! Are you okay?"

He came to his side and cupped Ludwig's face in this lap. It was pale, blue lips and eyelids. He was also carefully

"Mamma mia!" Feliciano folded over him and cried lightly, "I did this didn't I?"

The monster stood behind him, casting one of those eerie horror-movie shadows. _Remember me? _

Feliciano turned to look at the monster disdainfully, tears cascading down his cheeks. "No… you did this, you… you _meanie head_!"

The monster raised a fist, ready to end both Feliciano and Ludwig.

"You're jealous," Feliciano continued powerfully, "We, Ludwig and I, and everyone too, we have something you'll never know! Friendship and love." (Oh God, this is starting to sound like a bad Disney movie) "And I pity you. Even though you should pity me. If you try to kill us, I'll just run. That's what I've been doing the entire time anyway. Running. And I can do it one more time. Don't you see? You can't win. Not here. When I'm here with this." He took out his attack book. "I'm here. I'm alive. After everything, I'm alive. You've lost, you monster, you've lost! I'm still here! Try and kill me right now!"

The monster set his fist down, mystified.

Ludwig blinked awake. "I… Italy?"

Feliciano's eyes widened. "You're-a alive?"

"Ja… listen, Italy, you need to run now. Quickly. Don't vorry about me. You're good at running avay. Just… do it now."

Feliciano began to tear up again. "I'll run, Germany. But… but, then, you'll-a have to catch me."

Ludwig shook his head minutely in confusion. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

Feliciano gave him a small smile. "It sounded more poetic in-a my head."

"Perhaps you can say that again later at a more appropriate time. It's could sound better then."

"Ve~ Okey-dokey."

"Honestly, Feliciano. You have to run. Just leave me here. It's… it's come back vith the others. That vay, ve can…"

"No, Ludwig," Feliciano said gently, "I'll stay with you forever."

He shielded Ludwig's body with his own. Then, he realized the monster was gone. So that was pretty pointless.

_Feliciano's Party Was Victorious. _

_ 50 HETA Found _

"Ludwig!" Feliciano cheered, frantically collecting HETA coins, "He's gone."

Ludwig looked around. "I suppose he is."

"Can you-a walk?"

"I think so." Ludwig fumbled to his feet.

Feliciano let Ludwig lean on him as they traveled back to the fortress slowly. "How are you-a feeling?"

"Awful. Perhaps you can have Hayley patch me up somehow. Hey, is mein head bleeding?"

Feliciano tended in to look at the back of his head. Bleeding and gory and yucky. "Ew… sì."

"Oh… great."

Back at the fortress, Feliciano helped Ludwig onto one of the beds.

Night, who was still nom-noming in the kitchen, stood up brusquely once they entered the room. "What's wrong?"

"The monster attacked us," Feliciano cried, "And… and-a Ludwig got hurt. His head is-a broken."

"Broken?" Hayden repeated incredulously. She set her book down and travelled to Ludwig's bed, "How could his _head _be _broken_?"

"Come and-a look!" Feliciano pushed aside some of Ludwig's hair on the back of his head.

Hayden leaned in to look.

A huge, gory gash spread across his skin. His hair and neck were dyed with drying blood. It looked pretty cool.

Hayden grew dizzy. So… much blood.

She collapsed.

"Hayden!" Arthur exclaimed from across the room, "Are you alright?" He ran to kneel down next to her. Arthur gently put her head in his lap. "Wake up, Hayden. Is this your anemia like you told me before?"

She didn't wake up.

Arthur shook her softly. "Wake up! Wake up, honey!"

She didn't wake up.

"Baby! I don't want you to die."

She didn't wake up.

"Someone help me bring her into her bed."

Feliciano and he picked her up carefully and lowered her into a bed. Hey, guess what! It happened to be the bed where Roberto was hiding. He was curled up under all the sheets at the foot of his bed. Roberto was about to yell in delight, then he withheld it. If he screamed, they would put her in another bed. He just lay there listening to her breathe lightly.

"Let's just let her relax here," Arthur said tenderly.

"Okay." Feliciano and Arthur moved away to check on Ludwig's head wound.

After one-hundred-sixty-nine seconds, Hayden blinked awake. She was expecting to see her usual ceiling from her bedroom. But, instead, she saw the molded, yellowing ceiling of the fortress.

"Ew… I'm still here. What happened to me?" The back of her head throbbed from being banged around the floor.

Roberto heard her and kept quiet. She'd hate him if she knew.

"This bed is weird. Is someone in it with me? Oh, well. I shouldn't worry about these sorts of things."

Roberto smiled to himself. Hayden's legs were just within reach. He felt warm inside. How sweet. Who knew someone could love such an unlovable person so much?

Then, of course, I am sure you expected this… Hayden kicked for no reason in particular. Her foot landed in his neck.

"Yowie!" Roberto stumbled out of the bed.

Hayden squealed in terror. "What the fuck, Roberto!? Why were you in my bed?"

Roberto was kneeling on the floor, coughing hard from being unexpectedly kicked in the throat. "I… I…"

"You were under the sheets where I was sleeping! Why, you ass?"

"I was… I was already…"

Hayden stood up, crying and screaming, "Why are so weird, Roberto? I want you to stay away from me now, okay? I have a boyfriend, Roberto, and whatever you think you had… you know what? You won't listen to me anyway! You're just a blind, stupid, jealous little bastard! So leave me alone!"

And Hayden spun around and ran out of the room.

Roberto stood there, mouth open. _Perhaps she means it. Perhaps I'm wasting my time. She'll never be my friend now. Everything I ever wanted is now gone. _


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 13- Ivan Takes Night to The Factory

Hayden, that little freak, ran upstairs just as Hollyn and Alfred were going down.

"Hayden!" Hollyn shouted as she ran past, "Where are you going?"

"I don't care!" Hayden cried frantically back. She turned a corner and went through the door to the piano room.

Hollyn sighed, annoyed. Hayden is such a pain.

Hollyn leaned towards Alfred and said quietly, "I'm going to check on Hayden now. You go back and tell everyone that both of us are fine. Do you understand? Should I repeat that?"

"I'm the hero!" he called out randomly. Then, he dashed to the fortress heroically because he's the hero. Obviously.

Hollyn found Hayden being sad and stuff in the corner where she belonged.

"What happened, Denny?"

"Roberto… that bastard… he…" Then Hayden burst into tears

"That was very useful. Thank you for that."

Hayden rubbed her yucky, runny nose on her jacket sleeve, and Hollyn cringed in disgust. "I was… I was in bed and… Roberto was already under the covers… and… he knows I love Arthur, but he still tried…"

"I'm still confused."

"Honestly?" Hayden shook her head inn annoyance. "Listen, Hollyn. This is what happened. I was in bed, but Roberto was already in the bed under the covers being a creep."

"I understand."

Hayden looked disdainfully to her side. "I love Arthur now. I don't need Roberto anymore."

Hollyn giggled behind her hand. Hayden gave her an evil glare.

"What, may I ask, is so amusing?" Hayden snapped.

Hollyn shrugged. "Just a few weeks ago… you were doing anything to get Roberto to notice you, even though he already did. He really liked you and was all you would talk about. Now you hate him and you love…"

"Arthur is better than Roberto. For Christ's sake, he has an _accent_! He such a gentleman, and… have you even looked into his eyes? God! I could just stare into them forever! He is so hot! But Roberto… he's not hot. He's nerdy and ugly, and as long as I have Arthur, he might as well just leave!"

Hollyn paused to comprehend. Then, after a minute or so, she realized: "But, Hayden… you know…"

"Yes, I know. He can't leave."

Hollyn was let down. For once, she thought she knew something Hayden did not. Oh well. We cannot all have the Amazing Mind of Hayden Kirkland. Then it would not be so amazing, now would it?

Hayden smirked at Hollyn with her pervert eyes.

Awkward pause.

If you really think about it, you know that, in retrospect, an angelic Alfredica and a sexually screwed-up freak were crouched together alone in the corner of room far from anyone else. But they are friends, and I am not about to cross that line.

Hollyn cleared her throat uncomfortably and turned away, blushing. "You should go back now, Hayden."

"You think so? Why?"

"Because… because…" Hollyn turned to look back at Hayden. She still was wearing her creepy pervert eyes.

"Come on," Hayden teased, "Really?"

"C-O-M-E, right?"

Hayden blinked flirtatious. "What do _you_ think, Hollyn?"

"For Cheez-Its's Sake, Hayden! I'm not romantically attracted to you!"

"Wait what?" Hayden shook her head in shock. "What the fuck, Hollyn? Where did that come from? We're friends. We're girls. You aren't Night. There's a line. A very distinct line. I'm not about to cross said line."

"I'm sorry… I was just… I guess you're right…"

"Of course I'm right! I'm always right! You know what, forget it. You're just like Roberto." Hayden scooted closer into the corner, away from Hollyn.

"Like Roberto? But I'm not a nerdy Italiano with a cutting problem."

Hayden sighed. "No, stupid. I mean, you're judging me based upon Old Hayden."

Hollyn giggled. "_Old_ Hayden?"

"The Hayden from before she met Arthur."

"What's the difference?"

Hayden didn't answer. Rather, she stumbled to her feet."I'm going back."

Hollyn stood up, too. "Oh?"

"I'm going to kill Roberto."

"_Hay_den! That's against the Fifth Commandment!"

"I'm kidding!" But that evil glint in Hayden's eye was still there. She wasn't kidding.

"Hayden, listen to me!"

"What?"

"You can't just kill him. He's Roberto. Don't you remember him the way you used to see him? How nice he used to be to you? How he occasionally sat with us at lunch just so he could be with you? How he once asked you if you wanted to see his private parts then ran away? Think about what you thinking about doing."

Hayden considered this. Hollyn was right. For once.

Hayden sighed. "That last sentence…"

"What?"

"Was very poorly constructed."

This made Hollyn giggle. Old Hayden was back, at least a little bit. She gave Hayden a hug. This shocked Hayden; most people would not dare approach her in such a manner.

Finally, Hayden hugged back. Rubbed her head against Hollyn's neck and, despite her better judgment, sighed, "Your hair smells nice."

Hollyn pushed Hayden against the wall with all her sushi strength and ran away. Then, she quickly came back to make sure she didn't hurt Hayden.

Meanwhile in the fortress! Arthur was mad. Like, raging bitch mad. He was wrestling Roberto to the ground and not in a sexy way. Arthur definitely wasn't the physically strongest out of all of them, but Roberto was no competition at all. Honestly, he was practically a female.

Arthur put his arm around Roberto's neck. "You were trying to touch my Denny, huh? That's classified as sexual assault, you arse!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Roberto managed to squeak while Arthur beat the crap out of him.

"She told you 'no', but you still try to touch her? That's just wrong!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"You are a pervert! You need help!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Arthur threw Roberto against a wall and kicked him in the chest. "Leave her alone!"

"I'm…" painful-sounding cough, "_SOR_RY!"

"Good!" Arthur sauntered away. Hayden would be so proud.

And Roberto stayed there against the wall, looking pathetic. Konstantin and Wonho tried to comfort him, but once he started coughing up blood, they left.

At this time, Hayden entered the fortress with Hollyn.

Hollyn nudged Hayden. "Look at Roberto over there. It looks like he needs someone."

Hayden turned white and quickly rambled, "Ew! But look at all that blood! I can feel my anemia acting up. Where's Arthur? Over there. Thank you for your time, Hollyn." And Hayden escaped before Hollyn could whine about being a terrible person.

Arthur and Alfred were speaking softly to each other near the back wall. Arthur was also fussing with Alfred's hair, nagging him.

"Hey, Arthur!" Hayden called running to him.

Arthur stepped away from Alfred. "Oh, Hayden baby! Wait until you hear… I just made Roberto pay for touching you."

"Did you, now?"

"Uh-huh." Arthur put his arms around Hayden's torso and reeled her in, closer to his body. "Aren't you proud of me?"

"Of course, I am!" All she could see were his magical green eyes. She surely could not see Hollyn glaring at her a few yards away.

Hayden dug her head into Arthur's sculpted chest. "You're my angel, Arthur."

This made both Alfred (yes, he was still standing there uneasily) and Arthur blush.

"I am?"

"Of course you are!"

Alfred spun around and hid his face, speaking to himself like a schizo, "Arthur is _Hayden's _angel? Well, screw that biatch. I had him first." And he went to the kitchen to eat his feelings away.

Meanwhile! Nevelyn was still bed-ridden, foot swelling despite Hayden's oh-so-urgent measures to stop it.

Yao was standing by Nevelyn, attempting to fix of ailing foot using crazy, Oriental, only-the-Asians-would-think-of-that methods. Yeah, they weren't working either. Night was with him, trying hard to look interested.

"I no to understand," Yao muttered as he stuck another needle in Nevelyn's infected, leaking foot. "This work at home."

"Nevelyn's just weird."

Nevelyn's head snapped to face Night. "Well! Ex_cuuuuus_e you! I am not weird! I am fierce!"

Night looked at Yao with a smirk. "She's weird."

Yao nodded. "I understand." He took up another wooden needle and coated it with a mysterious, white liquid before stabbing her in the foot with it.

Nevelyn shot up to a sitting position. "Yowi! That hurt worse than my infection!"

"This old, ancient tradition based down by Chinese philosopher. I is sure it will to work." Yao looked over at Kiku, who was nearby talking with Wonho the Fellow Asian. "Hey, Kiku! You agree with medical practices of the elders, right?"

Kiku slinked over to them, blushing. "I'm sorry, Yao. But, I don't think that wirr herp (herp?) any. I think I trust Western practices more. Excuse me for my opinion."

Yao stamped his foot. "I is the master of medicine! Not those damn Westerners!"

Kiku bowed slightly. "Excuse me." Then he escaped.

The needle in Nevelyn's wound did nothing. Surprisingly.

"Oh well," Yao said after a few minutes as he removed the needle, "I suppose you is right, Night. Nevelyn is just weird."

Nevelyn attempted to get out of bed and attack Yao with her mad womanly skills, but she got restrained by the covers of the bed. She tried to roll over, which made her collapse onto the floor.

"Ow."

"I is not helping you," Yao informed her as he marched away smugly.

"Niiight," Nevelyn whined grabbing at her ankles.

"I is not helping you, either," Night replied, and she went after Yao.

Nevelyn was alone and in a lot of pain. "Fraaancciiisss!" she whimpered rather loudly.

Francis, who was stuffing his face… with food, sick freak… in the kitchen, came to her. "Whatever is the problem, dear?"

"Can't you tell?"

"Would you like to get back into bed?"

"Duh!"

"Would you like me to join you in the bed?" He winked at her like a sexy beast.

"What?! I'm crippled right now!"

Francis chuckled. "Honhonhon. I can work with that."

"Just help me!"

Francis lugged her up onto his shoulder and flopped her onto the bed with unnecessary force.

She started to cry from the pain but hid it with giggling. "You…" sniffle "are so… good with your hands, Francis."

"Am I?" he rubbed her leg.

She squeaked in delight. "You are!"

Francis reached for something else, making Nevelyn slap him.

"Not here, Francis!" she declared.

He laughed and put his lips close her ear. "Then where?"

"I'm fucking crippled!"

He rolled his eyes. "That again?"

Nearby Wonho was watching with the silent ninja skills all purebred Asians possess. _Damn whores. No sense of manners or tradition or anything! Anyway, as I was thinking to myself earlier… I swear I've played a game like this before back in Korea… but I can't remember what happened at the end. Why am I here in this game? How? Maybe I can find out, then tell Roberto or Kiku, and we can find a way out… then I'll tell my mother that I saved us all, and she'll be proud of me. _He nodded to himself. _Yes, I'll go out by myself. _

Quickly, he went into the kitchen to pack some food into his pockets for his adventure. Then, he headed to the door. Before leaving, he looked at everyone. No-one would notice his being absent. Oh well. And he left.

However, unknown to Wonho, Matthew was watching him. _What does he think he's doing, eh? Going out without any support. Perhaps… Perhaps I should follow him. Just in case something bad happens I could run back and tell the others, eh? Alright. I'll do it. I'm _sure_ nothing bad will come from this. _Then, Matthew ran to follow Wonho out of the fortress.

Stevie was asleep, curled up on the floor in the corner. Why she wouldn't just climb into one of the many vacant beds… I don't know. I suppose she liked the corner more.

Ivan was with Kiku being a total creeper.

"'Ello, Kiku."

"Ah… konnichiwa, (did I spell that correctly? Probably not.) Ivan," Kiku said politely, cringing to himself, "How are you today?"

"I am good. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Thank you for asking. You are very kind."

"Because I am so kind, would you be willing to do something for me?"

"I'm sorry. But it arr depends on what you wish for me to do."

"Do you like Yao?"

"Yao? Of course, we have been friends for a rong whire. Why do you ask?"

"Would you sleep with him?"

Kiku expected something like that. "Excuse me… I… I am sorry. That is not a question I am wirring to answer."

"Would you sleep with him _for me_?"

"Excuse me. I'm sorry."

"And let me watch?"

"Excuse me. I'm sorry."

"Please?"

"I berieve I wish to eat now. Excuse me, Ivan." And Kiku escaped, blushing furiously.

Ivan crossed his arms angrily. "Some people have absolutely no manners. But, don't worry." He smiled. "Mother Russia will make him pay, da?" And he went in search of Yao to ask the same questions.

Yao was in the kitchen where he belongs. Naturally.

"'Ello, Yao."

"Ni hao, Ivan. Why are you to bother me? I am to cook dinner for we."

"Would you be willing to do something for me?"

"I am not to sleep with Kiku just for you, you perverted Russian! Leave me to be alone!" Yao turned back to his very important cooking.

Ivan just stood there. "I will never leave you alone, Yao. You know me better than that."

"Damn you, Ivan." Yao shook his head in disbelief and continued with his cooking.

Night, who was just eating away in the corner of the kitchen area, approached Ivan. "Are you bothering Yao, dude? I'm gonna kick your ass if you are!"

Ivan's purple aura appeared. Yao's face turned white. "Aiya!… Night… not good idea…"

But it was too late. Ivan growled. "Nobody disrespects Mother Russia."

Yao's face turned whiter. He coughed. "…Mother Ivan…" Cough.

This made Ivan angrier. "I am no-one's mother." Then, he lifted Night over his shoulder and started out of the kitchen area.

"Let go of me, asshole!" Night cried, kicking Ivan's chest and face with her deadly soccer/football cleats. But Ivan feels no pain and knows no compromise.

Yao followed Ivan, whining, "Stop it! Night do nothing bad to familiar you!"

"She disrespected my authority" was Ivan's reply.

"You have NO authority over a badass like me!" Night protested. "Where are you taking me anyway?"

"To the Factory."

"Oh. Wait… what?"

"You no can to do that, Ivan!" Yao reminded him, "We're trapped, remember?"

"Oh." Ivan blushed in disappointment. "I suppose you are right, little Yao. I'll just take her to… to the basement."

Night's face turned red. "Wait… what?"

"Why the basement?" Yao asked.

"You know that ominous hole in the wall near the entrance into the basement from the outside. We were asking about it. Whether or not it's dangerous to peek inside. This young lady would be the perfect experiment to see if it is."

"I'm confused!" Night cried.

"Ivan!" Yao exclaimed, "This no is good! Night might to die!"

"I might to die?" Night yelped.

This made Ivan smile slowly. Chuckle. Chuckle.

"What the… no! This isn't right!" Night kicked and punched Ivan with all her jock power. But Ivan didn't mind at all. He just smiled to himself jovially and hummed the Soviet anthem.

Yao just followed behind, nagging aimlessly.

Nobody seemed to care when Ivan carried Night out of the fortress. Even though she was kicking and screaming, "Bad Touch! Bad Touch! Call 911!" Wow. Some people just don't care.

Ivan continued to go down to the basement with Night slung over his big, powerful, Russian, almighty shoulder and navigated through a maze of halls and doors until they came to a large hole in the wall just where Ivan said it was. He let Night off his shoulder and put his arms around her before she could run off.

"Beautiful, da?" Ivan asked gesturing towards the hole. It was just big enough for a Kiku-sized person to fit completely in. But that's not why Ivan found it so beautiful. Of course not.

Night blinked a few times. "So, all you want me to do is look inside that thing?"

Ivan nodded.

Night shrugged. She's so much of a jock, she's used to hazing routines.

"Don't do it!" Yao protested.

"Why not?" Night asked.

"We no to know what's in there, Night!"

"Oh come on! There's nothing bad in there. I'm sure." Night began to lean into the hole boldly. Just before she stuck her head in, she turned to give Ivan a wild grin.

But, to her surprise, Ivan didn't look smug or curious. He looked guilty. Eyes downcast. (Is it even possible for Ivan to feel guilt? Does he even have emotion?) Yao, who was standing next to him, looked anxious, shaking his head.

_Perhaps this isn't a great idea_, Night thought, _I hate admitting defeat, because I'm a total winner! But whatever… _She stepped away from the hole. "I'm only leaving cuz I'm bored." Then, she shook her bangs out of her eyes and marched away haughtily.

Once she turned the corner, Yao let out a sigh of relief and Ivan pounded his fist into the wall. "This author needs to kill off some characters already!"

Yao shrugged. "Oh well."

Then they started to walk back to the fortress.

Five days later! Well, in summary, nothing has changed within those five days except the following: Wonho and Matthew never returned to the fortress (… suspicious…), Nevelyn had stayed in bed bitching all day long though towards the end of the five day period, she seemed to have become quieter. Roberto only left his emo corner to eat and powder his nose, and Night could stop thinking about that strange hole in the wall in the basement.

Alright… so five days later, everything seemed unusually quiet.

"Everything seems unusually quiet," Hollyn observed. She, Hayden, Arthur, and Alfred were sitting around the dining table running out of things to converse about. Mostly because Arthur and Alfred were so secretive about their life before the mansion.

For example! Bonus conversation:

"What did you do before you came here?" Hollyn asked them both.

Arthur's face turned pink. "I… I… it's a secret!"

Alfred just laughed nervously. "I was the hero! And I still am!"

Hollyn smiled. "I see. Um… what kind of stuff were you into?"

This was easier for Arthur to answer. "Well! I like magic and reading and cooking and…"

Hollyn coughed.

"I like video games," Alfred interrupted, "and hero stuff."

"Where did you go to school?" Hayden asked. School stuff was much more interesting for her than hero stuff.

Arthur paused, but Alfred mindlessly said, "Hetalia Academy. Duh!" When he said that, Arthur tensed up, turned pinker. Nobody noticed.

"An academy?" Hayden asked incredulously, "You didn't go to college?"

"College?" Alfred repeated, blinking, "Why should I?" Awkward pause.

Hayden crossed her arms. "So… neither of you went to college."

Arthur grew alarmed. "Yes, I did. I went… to… I went to… Oxford?"

Hayden's eyes widened. "Really? That's exciting! What kind of degree did you get?"

"Um…"

Hayden glanced at Hollyn warily. Hollyn had her head propped up on her hands, elbows on the table, gazing dreamily at Alfred.

So, back to what I was saying earlier. They were all seated around the dining room table. "Everything seems unusually quiet," Hollyn repeated when no-one responded the first time.

"Well," Hayden said, looking around the fortress, "Yao and Night are over there playing ninja. Night is _such_ a ninja. Honestly, look at her! Stevie and Ivan are planting sunflower seeds over there in that ceramic urn that seems to have once been a spittoon. Obviously that monster from before used to chew tobacco or something. Fool. Hasn't he ever heard of mouth cancer? Un_ed_ucated fool. Ludwig, Kiku, and Feliciano are making Japanese food in the kitchen. Stop drooling, Hollyn, you look stupid. Konstantin is getting dating advice from Francis and Gilbert. Roberto is crying in the corner. Who's missing? I can't remember… oh yeah! Nevelyn! She's definitely the _only _one missing. She's still in bed as usual. She seems oddly quiet today though. Oh well."

"Maybe you should check on her, Hayden," Arthur remarked bringing his teacup to his lips.

Hayden sighed in annoyance. "Must I?"

Arthur shrugged.

"Ugh!" Hayden stood up and went to Nevelyn's bed. "Oh my God!"

Nevelyn's jaw seemed taut though it would sporadically spaz, and her back locked solid in a slightly arched position. Her eyes were shut. Her infected foot was shaking uncontrollably. But her hair and complexion still looked fabulous.

"I knew it!" Hayden exclaimed, "Oh God! What will we do now?"

"What's wrong?" Arthur questioned running to her.

"I was right! _Clostridium tetani_! Look at her! Why wasn't she properly vaccinated?!"

Nevelyn's eyes opened rigidly from all the yelling. It looked as if she had been crying.

"I'm so confused," Arthur said frantically. "What's wrong with her? Can't you help her?"

Hayden began to cry out of disbelief—she was such a failure for not seeing it before; her mother would be so disappointed. Hayden shook her head. "I don't know!"

By this time, everyone had gathered around Nevelyn's bed. She began to blush, which looked odd against her unusually stiff jaw.

"_Mon dieu!_" Francis cried, "Nevey! What's wrong with her face?" Nevelyn's jaw spazzed open. But before she could say anything, it slammed closed again.

"This is lockjaw," Hayden said quietly, "The first symptom of tetanus."

"Tetanus?" Francis exclaimed. Then he burst into tears sexily.

"Tetanus?" Hollyn repeated, blinking.

Hayden rolled her eyes. "It comes from _Clostridium tetani, _a bacterium usually found in soil and transmitted via puncture wounds. It affects skeletal muscles, the muscles used in voluntary movement. But fortunately, it won't affect her cardiac muscles because of the electrical properties of the heart. Duh! Everyone knows that!"

Hollyn blinked some more. "There's electricity in your heart? Isn't that kinda dangerous?"

Hayden sighed.

"Will she die?" Francis wept dramatically.

Hayden blushed. "Mortality rates range from about fifty percent to seventy-five percent."

At that Nevelyn attempted to sit up, but her spine wouldn't allow it. Rather, it spazzed and formed a deeper arch. Nevelyn began to cry noiselessly.

"So fifty-fifty chance?" Kiku muttered, "Risky…"

"Well, probably not fifty-fifty," Hayden corrected him, "Fifty-fifty with correct medical attention. If no-one's here to give proper care…"

"You won't help her?" Francis demanded.

"Well…" Hayden said uneasily, "…I'm really not _that _good with medicine. I'm just book smart. I… I'm not too good with applying my knowledge to reality. I'm… I'm sorry." She turned around and abruptly marched to a Roberto-free corner to cry in peace.

But, Arthur quickly went to sit next to her and put his arm around her. Whispered in her ear. "Everything will be fine. I promise. The odds are usually in my favour."

Suddenly Hayden thought of the _Hunger Games_. Huh. She shook her head again, annoyed by her lack of attention lately. This is what happens when she stops doing her daily Mensa logic exercises.

"I can't believe I can't do anything to help Nevelyn," Hayden cried, "She doesn't deserve this." Then, it dawned on her. "Wait… Arthur. When she so-called 'died' from her allergies that one time down in the basement… you did something... like some Wiccan spell or something. I mean, I guess you're into that kind of totally impractical stuff. Well, do you know any… um… spells that could help Nevey?"

"Wiccan spells? Oh, you mean… um…" Arthur hesitated, "my magic?"

Hayden looked up at him through her tears. "You're magical?"

"I like to think so."

"You do realize magic is not real, right? Everything is controlled by science."

"I beg your pardon! My magic _al_ways works! Sure… always."

"You think it's possible for you to magick her back to health?"

"I believe so… I mean… as long as Ivan doesn't mess with her first."

"What? Ivan has magic, too?"

"No. Definitely not. That _baka _just enjoys messing with me at times. We aren't exactly friends."

Hayden crossed her arms. "So everyone else knows about your magic except me?"

"Well, not everyone."

"Has it ever occurred to you that your magic may have helped us in previous situations?"

Arthur gave her an anxious smile.

"Is there anything else about your past I should know?" Hayden asked angrily, "Or will you keep hiding everything from me?"

Arthur turned aside. "You would never believe any of it."

This offended Hayden. "Why not? I'm a very practical person!"

"That's the problem."

"What?" She took his chin gently and forced him to face her. He kept his eyes down though. He was considering his possibilities. Pause. Pause.

"Never mind. Excuse me, please." He sat up and walked away.

Hayden watched as he went to Alfred and took him aside to a Hayden/Roberto-free corner. They stood close together, whispering. Arthur kept gesturing in her direction. Then, she watched him start crying. Set his face on Alfred's shoulder. Heroic Alfred then wrapped an arm lovingly around Angelic Arthur, rubbing his back.

"Very close brothers," Stupid Hayden commented to herself. Then, she put her head down in her lap, expelling saline fluid from her lacrimal gland over her ineptness in the extent predicament.

Suddenly, her expelling session was interrupted by…

"Um… Hayden? Are you okay?"

She looked up. Sure enough, there Poor Roberto stood, trembling nervously.

Hayden narrowed her eyes at him. "Bugger off, Eyetie!" she said in her best British accent, "No-one wants you about!"

"What?"

"Go away, Roberto!" she translated in her normal self-righteous and obnoxious Amurikan accent, "Nobody loves you!" Then, she went back to expelling.

"Oh… okay." He turned away and marched back to his corner, crying silently.

"I was about to tell her everything."

"Dude! Did you?!"

"No… but I was close."

"And by everything you mean… like, about being England Dude?"

"Uh-huh."

"Iggy dude! You could have screwed us all over if you did!"

"I know. But she's so persuasive sometimes! She really wants to know more about me… and all there is to say about me is… that I am country and…"

"Dude… that's not all there is to say about you. For reals, you're a really special dude."

"You really think so?"

Blushity-blush-blush. "Um… I'm the hero!"

"Well… I didn't tell her anything. So don't worry. Even if I _did _tell her, well, she's just too practical to understand anyway."

"She seems pretty smart to me."

"That's what I mean, America. She's too smart to grasp the concept."

"Concept?"

"Of… you know… our being countries…"

"What?"

"I mean, I suppose… for her countries are just places or maps or flags. Not people."

"Dude… that's weird. I'm total a person!"

"Still… some people are foolish sometimes. It doesn't matter anyway. Just pretend like it never happened, okay?"

"Okay dude."

"And don't tell France."

"I won't, dude. I promise."


End file.
